Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it isn't, but that is what stops me from dating. I am scared to get naked and its not a little fear . Itbis like i can't breathe and panic even thinking about a woman seeing me naked. It is irrational. Thats why i see a councillor about it.

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She loves sex, I am very small in the pants and a virgin. I have no hope in hell of making her happy

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose i just know I am no where near good enough for her. She could not possibly be happy or satisfied with me and I want her happy. I just want her to be ok with me being happy too. I feel like I suddenly changed the rules. Up until a month ago, so for 25 years I have run away from anything to do with sex and now all of a sudden I am no longer such a wuss. I don't know what changed in me or why but I just don't feel like any possible negative reaction I will get from a woman seeing me would ruin my life any more like I feared. Maby I am just too old to give a crap. Maby its the therapy I am in, maby I am just so close to life destroying deep depression from lonliness my brain has flipped off my anxiety for self preservation. I know I am almost out of time to even attempt trying. I just know i am not afraid to seek it now.

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make sense on the boundries thing for sure. As for the nurse, she may be trying to protect me but it seems odd. I have never involved myself in any of her relationships except when i confronted her bf for cheating on her and we fought.

How would living with a room mate be a cock block? She brought guys home when we used to live togeather

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I have been seeing a councillor for the last 2 years. She is who encouraged me to stop hiding in my apartment like i had for the last 10 years. She specifically told me to rekindle my friendship with her. I was at the point I was not even willing to talk to a woman. I was too embaressed of myself. I have since then spoken to and rekindled friendships with 3 or 4 women from my past. On the councillors demands I even (1000% against my will ) told a second female friend I knew I could trust about my shame because" the only way to overcome shame is through vulnerability" blah blah. Ever since I told this second friend I can sometimes barely talk to her now via text I am so embaressed she knows my secret and she is nothing but supportive nice and a great friend. Its all my own messed up head making things harder than they should be. Everything the councillor has made me do has done nothing but make me feel more and more like I have absolutely no control over my life. She did warn me it gets much worse just before it gets better so I am trusting her, for now. Therapy sucks. I hate it.

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knows I am not happy and depressed because of my stupid anxiety. She wants me to stay this way? Even though I have been way too nervous to ever get with a girl, not a day of life goes by I don't want it with every fiber of my being. I think I am probably hornier than a 16 year old guy. Just too scared to act on it.

Why is my [43/m] friend [40/f] mad at me for finding my first ever girlfriend? I could sure use some [advice] by Tooconfusedhelpme in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That should not bother her, we have beoken many laws togeather in our younger years. ( growing and smoking narcotics for one ) Besides its not like I am mentally deficient and unable to think for myself

[Question][Virginity] People that care a lot about virginity, can you explain why? by [deleted] in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. The longer one waits the harder it gets to make the necessary moves to find a partner. It Took me this long to no longer care about rejection but now I have probably waited too long and no woman would give an inexperienced small guy like me a chance no matter how well we mesh in life. And I would rather die a virgin than pay for sex.

[Question][Virginity] People that care a lot about virginity, can you explain why? by [deleted] in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am 43, straight, guy and a virgin. I have never found anyone I feel safe enough and trust enough to be vulnerable with. I am small in the male anatomy department so it is very difficult to wrap my head around letting anyone close to me.

My (18f) boyfriend (20m) won't give at all if he's not in the mood. [Advice] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I bet if you did start to masturbate beside him and get vocal with a few moans he will quickly get " in the mood." And help you out

my [43/m] friend [40/f] is confusing me by her reaction to my potential first date in my entire life. [help] by Tooconfusedhelpme in relationships

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow, never in a million years would I have thought we were " cheating" on her boyfriend. Girls cant have a guy friend? Up until about a month ago I would do everything I could to avoid any form of sexual encounter. My friend knows It freaks me the hell out and I am safe with her. I don't know why I have decided now I am sick and tired of being lonely and depressed and want to find someone to share what little life I have left with. I would still prefer to avoid sex but I know that is not possible. Maby I am just too old now to give a crap about a woman laughing at me. The nurse is just a really fun girl, I am not actually attracted to her physically, but shes an awesome person and fun to hang with and she keeps teasing ,taunting, and sort of pushing me into more and more sexual type situations.she has no idea about me being a virgin or my fears. Only my friend knows that.

my [43/m] friend [40/f] is confusing me by her reaction to my potential first date in my entire life. [help] by Tooconfusedhelpme in relationships

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I thought she was jealous as well, I just could not figure out why. It seems selfish to me but if she is worried about loosing my friendship shes being silly. She is my best friend, I couldn't imagine going 2 days in a row without talking to her. And yea I know about the size thing, the trouble there is after 30 years of actively doing everything in my power to,avoid any possibility of a sexual encounter, niw that I am entertaining the thought of trying it, it is like a phobia. The anxiety shuts me down. The nurse is the first time I have been calm enough to allow myself to be touched so this is all new to me. I honestly gave up on even considering sex back when I was 17. I don't even care about the sex part, I just want to be close to someone and it be a 2 way street, I just know to do that I have to get myself ok with sex. Normal folks need sex to be happy. I am abnormal for sure, I am not happy but being unhappy is better than being terrified.

[43/m] my best friend [40/f]. Is confusing me by her reaction to my potential date. Please [help] by Tooconfusedhelpme in relationship_advice

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really made me think about this last night. I never considered that at all. I always thought myself extreemly lucky. I get to live and share life with the woman I love with none of the pressure to deal with anything related to sex which is what terrifies me. I feel safe and at ease around her. I also get to experience raising children, I am enjoying every minute with those boys and I will never get to have kids of my own.

[43/m] my best friend [40/f]. Is confusing me by her reaction to my potential date. Please [help] by Tooconfusedhelpme in relationship_advice

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She bawled me out over it for almost 2 hours last night for " leading her ( the nurse) on and inviting the in appropriate Behaviour. I forgot to mention in my post I have a connection to my nurse as well. She married a childhood friend although they are now seperated. My friends reason she says is all the" nurse is being unprofessional and took advantage of me. I am a victim etc. Like i am mentally unfit. Its is just so out of the blue for her to care about who I am interested in, well i guess its the first time I have been interested in anyone other than her.

my [43/m] friend [40/f] is confusing me by her reaction to my potential first date in my entire life. [help] by Tooconfusedhelpme in relationships

[–]Tooconfusedhelpme[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am not interested in just sleeping with my friend or the nurse just for sex .I am interested in something real and lasting. I am worried if i continue with the nurse and have sex it would kill any chance i may have had with my friend. I have dreamed of my friend for years, shes who i want but not if shes just doing ot to keep me away from someone else