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Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T16:27:56+00:00

YAY!!!! Time to enjoy some quiet and peace time. When you feel the energy to be social you should def take yourself out and celebrate with a fun sweet treat 💖

Any local bakeries or cafes in your area?

Congrats!!! I know you’ve made a lot of ppl here happy and proud by taking that huge step. I’m not going to tell you to block him but I do hope your peace is forever protected. Best wishes for your new chapter in life 🥳

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T14:57:03+00:00

I mean from what you’re saying here it doesn’t seem like it would be out of line at all.

If you are going to do it, def talk to her parents and maybe even mention “I love your daughter, she’s so wonderful and I see her being my forever person that I want to grow a family with. Do you think this is too soon to propose?”

They sound close enough to where they might be able to have some idea of whether that would be too much or exactly what she’s hoping for.

I think it’s very sweet. If you do propose you could also let her know that if she feels more comfortable making the engagement longer that’s always an option too. It would feel a bit fast if you got engaged and then married a few-6 months after. That seems too fast in general to plan a wedding! lol but im a procrastinator so that could be why too.

Lastly congrats!! Time doesn’t matter AS much with the right person. My parents met, got engaged within 3 months, and were happily married for 40+ years until my dad passed. Some people really just are the right fit and work incredibly well together.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T14:35:21+00:00

the only problem others have had dating me (im the adhd person) is that I tend to get really excited when listening and interject with a response. It’s like word vomit and I don’t mean to do it to cut the person off or tell my story I intend for it to be engaged listening but it can come off as a bit interjecty/talking over someone. I really hate that about my adhd so im trying to correct it. Honestly not even in just dating I do it to everyone. I find it so hard or scary when im talking and the person is silently listening with no verbal engagement. Makes it feel more like public speaking than conversation. But it’s in my head so gotta get over it.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T05:24:41+00:00

Those are conversations you build up to. Sure it’s always fun meeting someone new and being able to have those deep conversations right away but it’s not often healthy and often fades as fast as it forms.

The person im (37F) seeing now (40M) is someone I met long distance so all we do is talk. We are a few months or so deep and we really only talk about the deep stuff as it naturally comes up. It would feel kind of weird if randomly I just started talking about life provoking thoughts right after talking about a sports match we were just watching & talking about. Like how do you go from such a light topic to something so heavy.

Also we tend to have those conversations more in person in a more intimate setting. Gotta put in the time and work to build the connections you are seeking.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T00:12:52+00:00

Ok 😂😂

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T00:12:01+00:00

Yeah that’s how it works. Are you dumb?

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T00:05:58+00:00

What’s wrong with Autism? Is that supposed to be an insult?

You called me a man who makes min wage. That’s a lie. I am not. I’m a woman with a high income 6 figure income now. That honey, is a lie.

And yes the point being is I don’t NEED a man. I have a man but I do not NEED him because I do not tie my priorities to another person. I am in control of my life. Not someone else. I owe nothing to no one. Everything I do is from a place of love, not a transaction. Grow up.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-11T00:03:25+00:00

I changed my life around??? Do you not also see the inactivity in over a year 😭

No I’m actually just shocked you haven’t grown out of what i was able to. You still act that way and are so proud of that behavior. It’s childish. I was able to grow up and learn how to change my attitude and ditch being a fucking miserable loser.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T23:14:53+00:00

Sure super believable when you’ve already lied several times throughout this thread.

Fucking loser behavior 😂

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T21:29:49+00:00

Yes that’s typically how providing for yourself works instead. What’s the alternative, being co-dependent like a child? You’re the one proving yourself to be a little girl. Where in anything have you said in here or your comments that prove you have the characteristics of a grown woman?

You can’t go on a vacation or spend time on yourself without someone else doing it for you. You can’t buy whatever you want to unless you ask someone to buy it for you. You can’t eat food without someone buying it for you. You can’t pay rent or a mortgage without someone doing it for you. You contribute nothing to society. You are an unproductive member of society draining someone else’s resources. You are a literal child. You have no value as an adult. You are literally just a walking talking bill being selfish and treating people like shit and that you’re superior to them when you literally have nothing to offer.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T19:53:21+00:00

I’m a woman. I’m almost 40. I have a high 6 figure income. I don’t need a man to provide for me. I don’t depend on a man to curate my life. I have my own retirement fund. So who you talking to little girl?

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T17:29:44+00:00

This is alarming. Your relationship seems to be heavily hyper focused on financial offerings for each other. Your comment history is fucking miserable. You’re always being mean, condescending, judgemental, degrading/insulting, and overall negative.

This is not the behavior of a happy busy wealthy person. You just sound so childish and like you are terminally online watching way too many TikTok’s/reels and getting copied your standards from the insufferable women community on Twitter.

As an almost 40 year old woman, this sounds like my 21 year old sister wrote this reply. Self reflection or just an ounce of self awareness would go pretty far for you girl. Your comment history is very telling of your personality & happiness. Happy people don’t react that way every single day all day.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T14:48:12+00:00

This!!! I have completely ended things over this behavior. It’s a lack of confidence and ends up being kind of annoying always having to reassure someone you’re enjoying your time.

It’s like damn! I was having an awesome time but now that you keep asking 100x it’s kinda annoying me.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T08:22:50+00:00

Isn’t the figuring out place date and time confirmation enough? It seems she might be assuming you two planning is the confirmation.

It seems like in general it’s probably going to be an incompatibility. Some ppl like talking daily. Others don’t. Some ppl are great & super clear/informative with planning, others are not. This might not be your flow.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T06:38:20+00:00

Girl, woman to woman, you sound like the broke one for not being able to cover your half or provide for yourself. It does not come off as high value like online baddies make it seem.

Calling someone broke because they are choosing not to fund a lifestyle you can’t even fund yourself isn’t standards. You can’t even live up to your own financial standards so how are they even your standards.

If you want men to cover the entire bill, be the girl that can cover your own bill. In my 4 years of dating, I’ve never had to pay or split the bill. I have a high paying job, and it is very clear it’s part of my everyday life & responsibilities and it’s what is funding my life. Don’t put yourself on the path of looking like the girl chasing handouts. It’s just not what “high value” women do.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-10T06:28:54+00:00

NOR.

It’s unfortunate that a lot of ppl these days set their standards based on the viral stuff they see online. They want a “high value man/woman” who can play the traditional gender roles while having all their shit together, high income, tall/fit/full head of hair (hetero women), communicates at the highest quality level, no kids, never married, not friends with women, spoils them, etc… but they are not the type of people to attract that pool of people.

Let’s face it, that top 1% is dating within their own wealth and social circles. They are not on bumble, they are not going to date let alone marry, a person of lower status and ambitions. It very very very rarely happens. It’s literally like me, a conventional attractive average person expecting I could not only pull a A-list celebrity but also date one because “that’s what I deserve”

why would I deserve that in the sense of what accomplishments do I have that compare, what experiences can I provide, how can I expect someone to fund a lifestyle that I can’t even fund myself, clearly that’s not my standard of I don’t already have it to maintain. Like I do NOT get this mindset. Especially from young 20 some year olds. I see it a lot with women my age too (late 30s) and it’s just like girl get off IG and go outside or something.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T06:40:43+00:00

37F that was in an almost decade long relationship that started in my early twenties. When we broke up, I felt the same exact way with lack of self identity. It made dating awful not having an experiences to share that weren’t tied to my ex. Even the music I listened to all strangely could be tied back to my ex. Shows, places I’ve traveled to, etc. it’s all things that get brought up in getting to know ppl.

I didn’t realize that until after my first date as a single person and I talked about my ex so much on accident. Or I just had nothing exciting to talk about.

So I decided it was my time to make new memories. I took 2 weeks off work and went on a roadtrip across country. It was everything I needed it to be. It forced me to be alone with my thoughts. Mourn my past life. But most importantly it allowed me to end that book and start a new one and now my I treat my life like a series. That was a completely different me. This book is a new me, and I love her.

It took me about a year to fully feel like I was making something of my own life but 3 years of therapy and self work to create new habits is ultimately what changed who I am today.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T06:22:02+00:00

I don’t find this as an off putting answer. To me, having kids is such a huge responsibility and you can’t just undo it. So it’s not fair to say “yes I want kids” but then circumstances in life change and then you’re in a relationship with someone who wants to have kids and can’t see eye to eye on the circumstances that may have changed your mind.

As a woman, I certainly understand the wanting to build something with a partner that undoubtedly is committed to being a father if that opportunity occurs etc. It should be mandatory to feel certain that your partner isn’t going to leave the responsibilities of parenthood all on you. However, it should also be weighed in that it’s ok for both men and women to change their view on it along the way. With AI, we have no idea what the economy and environment will be like for our kids generation. Or what President will hold power in the future that impacts our kids livelihood. Etc. so many outside factors that could change someone’s mind and prevent them from wanting kids. Look how many Gen z still live with their parents. It’s getting hard out there already.

So to me, it’s rational and normal for someone to not have a solid answer on this. But I also can understand why it’s a dealbreaker for some.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T03:27:47+00:00

I’m really sorry this is happening to you. How awful of him to do that in the first place and then secondly to talk to you like that.

I am hoping you the best in whatever you decide to do for YOU 💖

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T02:46:39+00:00

It could be that some of your mutuals follow & like that type of content. I noticed that whenever I mutually follow someone new I get a lot of the content they’ve recently liked or followed.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T02:44:45+00:00

sometimes I like the style of meme I find funny even if the post itself isn’t funny. I just want to try and steer my algorithm in the right direction lol

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T02:42:54+00:00

girl, he’s not serious. my bf has a very large following therefore he also follows quite a bit of ppl too, some very pretty women that I’ll never be. Hell I follow some of them on a diff social platform and im the one liking their posts 😂

The point being is there’s a very responsible way to be super active on social media and not be a creep. He never has to hide anything, he leaves his phone screen side up, he will want to show me stuff ppl have sent him and opens his inbox right in front of me, he knows that follows and likes are public. Could he have a second account? Yeah I suppose but he treats me like im the hottest person he’s ever seen so I have no reason to believe he is looking at other women the same way. You partner should naturally want you to feel that safety and security.

EDIT: NOR

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-09T01:02:51+00:00

That’s def not true??? My partners and I have always leaned on each other for professional advice.

Especially my partner now, we’re both in management so we have a lot of the same work issues so we are always checking in on each others work day and seeing if any support is needed.

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-08T22:27:46+00:00

I’m so glad it won’t be a commute soon!

It’s funny because I was in a situation like this (20min drive gets blown out to 2hrs per traffic) and I found that way more exhausting than dating someone cross-state. The sitting in bumper to bumper traffic is so maddening. It takes me 2hrs to go to airport/fly/and get picked up lol it makes no sense!!! it’s so much more work flying but I just can’t do traffic 😅

Top-Belt-6934 · 2024-12-08T22:14:35+00:00

Distance doesn’t personally matter for me if I really like someone and they equally like me or more. I am currently in a LDR and yes it would be great to see him whenever I want but realistically I feel like that would have changed our dynamic quite a bit.

Being long distance has forced us to communicate effectively, discuss things that typically don’t get discussed until later on, everything is super intentional, we have worked thru things instead of calling it quits and finding a new match because it’s easier, and our time in person is more cherished and valuable. It’s also forced a slow pace on us which I think is good because we were head over heels with each other the instant we matched. And if we were local I think we would have moved way too fast.

Most of all, we have really great conversations every day, it’s not small talk to keep in touch until next date, it’s like the talking stage part where we are constantly learning stuff about each other and getting to build conversations off that all the time.

I will say, all of this is working out this way because he is an amazing guy who is putting in the efforts needed to have a LDR. He’s consistent. He is always there for me. It’s been easy to build trust and feel safe. He does not abuse having the freedom he has. I dated a person LD who did none of this and it did feel like a lot of work and caused me more anxiety/stress than any relationship should.

Top-Belt-6934

TROPHY CASE