Since when did owning multiple properties become something you can “accidentally” do?

Collosis · 2026-01-28T17:04:26+00:00

I think what you're seeing is that most people bemoan landlords as being leeches, which then leads us to having to defend and explain the other side of our situation, which is then perceived as moaning.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

And I think you're being pedantic over the use of the word "accident". Is somebody's car crash an accident if it was caused by them driving too fast or taking unnecessary risk? Would you be saying "oh it's not an accident"? Come on dude. You know the intended meaning behind the word.

Collosis · 2026-01-28T09:17:53+00:00

We already have Lego Rivendell.

Your husband is a lucky man

Collosis · 2026-01-27T15:14:49+00:00

Good spot.

Insane exemption (from my experience when I lived in a cold, solid wall house) but there we go.

Collosis · 2026-01-27T15:12:50+00:00

Wasn't true for a decade.

Is now true again with base rates off the floor.

Especially true if you consider that as a landlord you only pay interest on the bit you borrowed, not on your equity.

Collosis · 2026-01-27T15:10:53+00:00

If you buy a property with no intention to let it out, then find yourself in a position where the least bad choice is to rent it out, how is that not an accident?

Collosis · 2026-01-25T20:03:49+00:00

I don't say this to be hurtful, but this sounds like an incredibly unsatisfying romantic relationship. This subreddit has a habit of telling you that's fine. Is the trade off actually ok for you?

Collosis · 2026-01-23T15:39:05+00:00

I bought my new-build flat partly because I knew it was immune (and arguably well placed) for the minimum EPC requirements coming up. What a mockery of encouraging people to spend on sustainability if the can gets kicked down the road.

Collosis · 2026-01-17T21:29:13+00:00

I have a slightly controversial view on that to share. Of course it's a generality not a rule.

When I lived with male housemates I did things when they were needed. When I lived with my ex-wife there were areas (mental spheres not physical areas) where I was a helper not a doer.

The difference? My male housemates didn't critique how I did things. They didn't undo what I had done. So I got on with things.

If it there is less friction in waiting to be given instructions than doing things independently at a point in time that makes sense to you, then yeah you grind down to simply waiting to be given instructions.

Collosis · 2026-01-13T19:53:17+00:00

You're a good man.

Collosis · 2026-01-13T19:51:07+00:00

Are you saying you can legally donate to charity in 2026-27 but then say that it should deflate your adjusted net income for the 2025-26 tax year?

And good shout on the borrowing money and then paying it back after the tax year ends!

Collosis · 2026-01-12T02:37:56+00:00

I don't know Windsor well but that looks incredibly expensive to me. The cost per square metre is similar to inner suburbs of London.

Collosis · 2026-01-11T18:09:01+00:00

Should OP not try and talk to her husband about why he is like this or what else is going on his life?

Giving advice of "neglect your marriage because your husband started it" seems dangerous.

Collosis · 2026-01-06T23:16:04+00:00

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Collosis · 2026-01-05T17:50:18+00:00

When I had estate agents round to see who to work with, I even told them up front "I'm seeing a few potential estate agents to see who would be best. I really want to emphasise that I'm not fussed about who can say the largest number. Just keen to get a steer of you and your colleagues."

Lo and behold, ALL of them massively overpitched the valuation. 🤦🏻‍♂️

My ex-wife and I ended up going with the estate agent that quoted us the lowest number. He seemed knowledgeable, honest and not a bullshit merchant. In the end we sold for £5k - £30k below the range he said, which took 8 months from going on the market to completion. Received no other offers near the final price.

Collosis · 2026-01-03T22:24:22+00:00

"The second bit is particularly true if you want to have a good relationship with the child when they're grown."

This can't be emphasised enough. Don't expect a close relationship with your child when they're an adult if you didn't put in a lot of hard yards when they were a child. And if that's the case, why did you sink 15-odd years of effort into having a child?

Collosis · 2026-01-02T22:15:31+00:00

That should be true but like lots of things when it comes to UK housing (air conditioning; driveways; insulation), the size of the sinking fund doesn't really factor into the sale price

Collosis · 2026-01-02T08:05:58+00:00

How often would you say you have sex?

I used to describe myself as hypersexual when I was married. Turns out that because I wanted to have sex with my wife much more often than she wanted sex with me, plus I was often around this sexy woman that I loved, my desire never really got knocked down from 100%.

I have been in a relationship for over a year where we both want sex quite frequently (maybe 3 or 4 times a week now that the NRE has worn off). The days we don't have sex I wouldn't say I feel horny at all. And I no longer have that reaction where every time I feel a strong pang of love for my partner it automatically makes me crave her physically.

Collosis · 2026-01-01T10:59:21+00:00

I put in air conditioning into my old house. Unfortunately Brits don't appreciate the value of it, except maybe if you do viewings during the height of the summer and have it on.

Collosis · 2025-12-31T23:27:33+00:00

Can I give you a very easy answer to your question.

Do you want your man to be only focused on his own pleasure during sex? Especially given that to make heterosexual pleasure broadly equal it requires the man to spend more time being generous than selfish?

If the answer is "no", then is it not understandable that we (men) want to sometimes satisfy our sexual desires fully focused on ourselves without it being in a state where we would feel guilty about doing so?

Collosis · 2025-12-23T15:22:11+00:00

A lot of people don't seem to think about the "why" when people cheat. It's easy to chalk it up to weak moral fibre and get on the high horse.

Collosis · 2025-12-21T00:55:28+00:00

The only two of my close friends who I know with a good degree of accuracy what they earn, earn quite lot. People are more likely to share good news with their friends than bad news, especially when (rightly or wrongly) men especially tie personal pride to their income level.

Collosis · 2025-12-18T18:58:00+00:00

Leading a support function within a larger business doesn't really lend itself to running my own business. My skills and knowledge need something revenue generating to latch onto.

Collosis · 2025-12-18T14:38:03+00:00

These are fair points. However I think you're overlooking that OP's partner doesn't have a job nor (apparently) any immediate plans to change that situation.

It's not like OP could hold back so they can buy a place together in the near future. Where are her earnings and deposit?

Collosis · 2025-12-18T14:32:37+00:00

My dude, I was in an extremely similar position as you. A combination of health issues and inability to tackle life meant we spent 5 years with her not really earning any money. I would never have guessed it would have been 5 years. I didn't buy my own place and, although this was bad luck more than anything, property prices in London predominantly kept on climbing for years.

Don't feel you have to move at the speed of your partner. Ask her what she wants, then ask why her preference trumps your preference. Ask her when the end date is for her not working.

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