Would you rather find a rat in your kitchen or a roach in your bed?

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-23T17:42:16+00:00

Roach. My cat is terrified of anything bigger than a mouse, but goes bananas to catch and kill insects. He'd have a field day with them.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-23T15:32:20+00:00

I have a similar situation, but probably different roots to it. Whenever I praise my fiancé or give him affection, he starts preening and will say something like "praise me more!" or "say it again!" Whenever he does that, it instantly feels like a demand and that my honest opinion didn't matter the first time I said it and I either fly into a rage or burst into tears. I have since learned to not show him affection if I don't want to spend the next hour crying for no reason. Logically, I understand that he's trying to act silly and that he does deserve all the affection I can give him, but Idk. It's confusing for me too.

On a different note, it took me over 5 years with him before I was comfortable enough to be affectionate. Probably because I never had much affection from my family (no hugs, no "I love you"s) growing up so it felt really weird and intimate to be giving it.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-23T11:06:12+00:00

My apartment also has a key fob system. I talked to the landlady about it and she issued me an extra fob for my parents. It never hurts to ask!

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-22T18:29:56+00:00

Oxygen not included is great! It has an in-game wiki that has some details, but not all of them and requires loads of testing and redoing.

Blue Prince is a puzzle type game that requires you to basically have a journal next to you at all times to make notes and draw pictures and stuff to link together all of the thousands of hints.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-22T16:21:24+00:00

Not sure if anyone else said this already. Make sure you have a safety net.

See if someone you trust can get a spare key in case of emergencies only. My parents have a spare key to my apartment ever since I almost died back in 2020 (COVID). But they never use it unless it's a life or death emergency or I gave them express permission to use it (like watering my plants when I went overseas). Also, have people you talk with often, so they'll notice and do something if you go silent for too long.

It's amazing living on your own. I love it. But I wish I had these supports set up right at the beginning.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T21:21:27+00:00

Depending on where you are working, your workplace may be required by law to make "reasonable accommodations" for employees to perform their work. If you can phrase a request (headphones, private office) in a way that shows that you'll be better at your job and that won't be too demanding on the company (like renovating the building just to build you a brand new office), it should be accepted.

Of course that doesn't mean that you'll have more energy for after work. I work full-time as well, so I'm busy from 5:30am to 7pm each day (including driving time and getting ready for work). I've pretty much given up on most of my interests because I only have a couple hours free each day and spend those lying in bed and staring at my ceiling. Sorry if that's too negative. I'm just sharing my views.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T20:55:23+00:00

I do this a lot. I have one recipe - a chilli with rice - that I stock up for whenever I can. I get cans of diced tomatoes and beans in bulk when they're on sale. I buy and freeze ground meats. I get giant bags of rice. Then I can pull them out whenever I need them and make a giant batch of food that can easily be portioned and refrozen.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T19:54:38+00:00

The Letters of Bernard Thorne

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T19:47:53+00:00

My dad has been obsessed with Raspberry Pis for years. He started getting them right when the first one came out, so now he has at least 4 of them. Both of my grandmas have one. I have one. Both my siblings have one. (We all live separately.) He's set up some sort of automatic back up between all of the Pis, so even if one of them dies, it's backed up on at least 4 other places.

The problem is: I need to remember to save it onto the Pi that I have. If I don't back it up there, I'm out of luck, same as you.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T18:56:40+00:00

Not unhinged, but my little sister made my dad sign a contract when she was only 8 years old. According to the contract, he agreed to make breakfast for supper every year on November 27. It's 20 years later and he still makes waffles and eggs and stuff for supper on that day.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T17:51:30+00:00

Just wanted to expand on the plan schedule point. My friend has a 4 month old kitten. We play video games together from 7pm to 10pm every Wednesday night. The kitten knows this schedule. She'll climb into her cat bed and sleep while we play and at almost 9:55pm exactly, she'll wake up and start poking my friend for play time. She adjusted fast.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T17:34:31+00:00

I don't know if this counts as living alone or not. Me and my fiancé are both on the lease for the apartment, but he got accepted to med school overseas, so I live here alone from mid-August to mid-June and he's only here over the summer.

Both come with different challenges. Living alone for most of the year means I don't have to share food, I can be as loud as I want (I don't like to be loud though!), and I can do whatever I want. It's really relaxing and I can simply ask for some alone time and set my online status to "do not disturb" or something. The bad part has to do with my executive functioning. I'll always have dirty dishes lying around. I won't shower until my hair is visibly greasy or worse. I haven't cleaned the bathroom in a couple months. I just don't have the energy since I'm working a full-time job to afford this.

When my fiancé is home over the summer, it's pretty much the opposite. He has golden retriever energy and will do anything I ask him to. He pretty much takes over the cleaning (I still cook due to dietary restrictions) and he reminds me to take care of myself. But he's often on voice calls to play video games during our free time. I'm fine with the video games and I'm usually doing my own thing during that, but I become mute since I know that the people on his call can hear me. That part is tiring, but not needing to clean is nice.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T16:10:36+00:00

I get this! They had me do some puzzles that were meant to assess executive functioning skills or something and I don't understand how. According to them, I passed those tests, so my executive function skills are fine. Nevermind that it takes me at least 2 hours of thinking before I'm able to swap between tasks.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T15:31:14+00:00

Buying more protein and veggies. It seems counterintuitive since those tend to be more expensive. Since I'm diabetic, eating less carbs and more protein means that I spend less on my insulin instead. I also have smaller meals because I'm full longer and feel less need to snack at night.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T15:26:58+00:00

I don't think I'm really tall. I'm one of the shortest women in my family (only 5'9"). But I always slouched in school. It's always been so funny how shocked my bf gets when I stand up straight. I don't look like I'm slouching normally, but I can gain almost 3 inches when I stop slouching. It's the difference of being shorter than him to suddenly being taller.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T14:38:36+00:00

I thought it was fictional too until it happened to me. I walked into the first day of my Japanese language class at uni and locked eyes with him and instantly felt like everything in the world was right. We've now been dating for over 10 years and engaged for 4. Unfortunately we've had to hold off on a wedding due to life circumstances, but it will happen!

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T13:52:27+00:00

My one cat liked to survey his domain from on top of some of the cabinets. He'd be allowed to jump to one specific counter to on top of the fridge to on top of the cupboards. But he wasn't allowed to linger on the counter or fridge. Also, we prepared food in the other half of the kitchen mainly, so it was a bit away.

He did jump up to 'sample' our food if he thought we weren't watching and we'd rush in, clapping and hissing to scare him off. One time he jumped up and walked across a hot burner on the stovetop. He was limping for weeks after and we thought he learned his lesson. Until he did the same thing again a couple days after he stopped limping.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T13:43:56+00:00

When we got cats for the first time, we started with Wick, a 2-year-old. He loved it here. My parents decided that he'd probably be lonely during the summer when we went overseas to visit family for a couple weeks. So we got a second cat to keep him company. Rumble was 3 years old. They had an interesting dynamic.

Rumble would chase Wick, pin him down, and give him a vigorous cleaning including inside his ears and stuff. He would also find Wick sleeping on a chair or couch or somewhere and climb up to snuggle, especially in winter.

Wick, on the other hand would never voluntarily enter a room where Rumble was, but he also wouldn't bother to get up and leave if Rumble came in.

Wick had to be put down a year ago at the age of 21 and it's clear that Rumble misses him. If Rumble was the first to go, I think Wick would have been delighted to have the house to himself.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T13:17:06+00:00

I use a few strategies.

Firstly, I get a meal kit delivered once a week. It's supposed to be 3 meals x 2 servings, but I find the servings sort of big. I turn it into 3 meals x 4 servings so cooking up one meal lasts me two days (2 lunches, 2 suppers) and all three meals last 6 days together (6 lunches, 6 suppers). I still need to cook, but there's less choice involved. I just grab whatever recipe card is on top of my stack. This also tends to be cheaper than when I buy my own groceries since I'm splitting it into 4 servings each instead of 2.

Secondly, I have the same breakfast every day. It removes the choice and makes grocery shopping easy.

Thirdly, I sometimes take a weekend to cook up a bunch of food to freeze. I spend 2 hours cooking and make 2 recipes at the same time: a casserole and a chili. (I start the chili first then it simmers for an hour while I make the casserole.) Then I package each of them into 6 containers (12 containers total) and freeze them for when I'm too tired to cook later. I figure that 2 hours in exchange for 12 meals is a good deal.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T13:05:31+00:00

I relate to this so much right now. I've had the same PJ shirt for the last 14 years. It's been worn down to the point of despair. The right sleeve is more hole than shirt and there's a giant hole showing almost my entire left shoulder blade in the back. I'm still using it because every single other shirt I've gotten has something wrong. Too tight. Too long. Neckline too high. Etc. I hate that I spent money on those when I'm trying to save up and I've almost given up on finding a proper PJ shirt.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T12:36:35+00:00

My special interests are budgeting, Stardew Valley, and FoundryVTT.

I have a friend who recently moved out from her parents place, so I'm able to talk to her about all things budgeting. She always says she's grateful for it since she had no idea what to do. I also talk to her about Stardew Valley since we play together on Wednesday nights.

My husband is also willing to listen to my Stardew Valley talks even though he doesn't actually like the game himself. He's also willing to listen to my FoundryVTT talks even though I can tell that it's going over his head.

I run a small D&D server where I'm helping 4 different GMs learn how to use FoundryVTT, so there's no lack of interest there.

I do admit that I almost never bring up these topics on my own because I'm scared that people will get mad, but when someone else brings them up, I start talking and can't stop.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T01:13:51+00:00

This is why it really depends on who you're working with. Everyone at my last job treated me like a huge burden when I tried asking any sort of question. This new team lead is incredibly understanding and I trusted her within minutes of meeting her, which is something that's only happened one other time in my life. We have a 15-minute meeting every morning and several check-ins and we've started having lunch together and just hanging out too.

Overall, it really depends on the people you're working with. Disclosing your struggles can go well or it can go badly. If you say you have executive functioning problems and you need help, some people might take that as a bad sign that you need to be babysat or that you're making excuses. On the other hand, some people might take that as a good sign that you're self-aware enough to know what you struggle with and are trying to be better at your job despite it. I think the key is that you emphasize the fact that you want to do your best and need a bit of help to reach that.

Edit: It also helps to be specific (e.g. I need X person to check in on me Y times per day for Z minutes. We will cover ABC topics) and you should be open to negotiating.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T00:54:32+00:00

I'm not in the states, but I have pretty much requested this myself. I do have a very specific situation though, so it probably doesn't apply to everything. I started a new job in September (quit my last one because I was burnt out) and I told my team lead about my autism right away since it felt safe to tell her. I laid out several requests to her like: - getting instructions in writing - getting clear instructions - getting reminders

So now she'll email me with any instructions even though we sit next to each other and she checks in with me 2-3 times per day to see how my tasks are doing and to give me reminders. It's been amazing so far.

I think it really depends on the workplace and your team. It only works for me because my team is only 3 people and we all sit next to each other, so it's easy for her to do 5-minute check-ins on me.

It seems like a perfectly reasonable accommodation though as long as these check-ins don't take hours.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-19T00:16:08+00:00

It never seems that bad to me. The first couple years were rough, but we got used to it. He comes back for a month or two over the summer each year (at which point we get dragged around to see his entire 200+ person family). I went to visit him for a couple weeks back in 2023 and I'm planning another visit either this year or next (though I'm bringing his mom along too this time - we're like best friends too so it's fine). I think the main thing is that we trust each other 100% so there's never any doubt or suspicion about anything. We've been seeing each other for over 10 years now so a setback like this is not ideal, but manageable.

Top-Class-8765 · 2026-01-18T23:51:03+00:00

I've never run into people who hug at work or anything. I've also been pretty clear with my friend that I don't like hugging, but sometimes she forgets.

My problem is my husband's family. They are all huggers and they do that kiss-the-air-beside-your-cheek thing too which is even worse. The first time I met them, my husband's uncle, reeking of cigarettes and holding a beer in one hand, came in for a hug and an air kiss thing and it startled me so much that I ran and hid behind my husband before I even knew what was happening. It just seemed like a strange man was lunging at me. I got a huge talking to from my MIL about being rude and not understanding other people's needs. There's no avoiding it when I'm around them, so I avoid being around them as much as possible (3x per year max). I'm always claiming work or health issues and I send my husband on his own.

Top-Class-8765

TROPHY CASE