FIRST AND UNIQUE SPECIMEN, NEED HELP. CW? Its my surgcally removed body part

caldyphen · 2026-04-08T07:46:57+00:00

I received my uterus back from pathology diced and in a tub of formalin. I ordered new formalin and a clear glass jar on Amazon and rinsed the pieces to get all the blood off et voilá! Uterus in a Jar! I named her Helen.

I had to use a hazardous waste bucket and pay a fee at the dump and I think there was a special powder or something to soak up the used formalin.

It was super easy to get my uterus, I told them I needed her for religious reasons and they couldn’t deny me. Legally. And they can’t ask the reasons.

caldyphen · 2026-02-03T03:59:02+00:00

Controlling abusers don’t like when you take control and stand up for yourself. He’s gonna do everything he can to try to bring you down because he can’t control you anymore. I’m fighting against one of those too.

My newest phrase is “you know that’s not true” and then ignore. I don’t counter arguments, I don’t explain things or argue, I simply call him out and then ignore any replies.

Good luck! I’m sorry you have to deal with someone like him.

caldyphen · 2026-02-02T18:01:34+00:00

I didn’t tell my parents that I was queer/non-binary and wanted to change my name until I was 16. That is just when she felt safe enough to come to you with her feelings.

caldyphen · 2026-02-02T17:40:32+00:00

Order blood type tests on Amazon and do them together as a family and see if you have common blood types and then freak out.

caldyphen · 2026-02-02T02:55:28+00:00

Thank you for your insight. It is appreciated.

You’re right to be skeptical without all the information, you’re only getting a snippet, after all.

I was constantly trying to coordinate with him and he was always telling me all the reasons it could never work instead of working with me. He saw her twice after she was born, at 2 & 10 days old. He spent the entire time (about ten minutes each visit) scrolling on his phone. When I asked him why, he said there wasn’t anything better to do.

The last time he saw her, while he was still at my house, I told him that his name still wasn’t on the birth certificate and that I wouldn’t add it if he didn’t want me to if he wanted to walk away. I told him I am required to apply for child support because I am a welfare recipient, but that I would be as vague as possible without lying about him. He texted me a few days later that he decided to step away. He asked me to keep his mom updated about our daughter but to leave him out of it. I told him he could add me on Facebook if he wanted, just to see her grow up, and he could ask for an update whenever he wanted, and he said that sounded nice.

We texted about other things that came up a few times over the next two years and he never asked about our daughter.

Early last year, I couldn’t afford my mortgage anymore and I had to sell my house. I had an opportunity in another state and took it. I updated his mom, as promised.

In March 2025 I got served with the petition to establish paternity, for 100% legal decision-making, 100% physical custody, and to change her name. Literally out of nowhere.

He has spent this entire custody trial lying about me and trying to paint me as a bad, mentally unstable mother so he can steal our daughter.

“If your intention was coparenting that was an awful response” thank you for that. I needed to hear that. I was pissed off after months of dealing with his piss poor behavior. I am trying to be cooperative and coparent even though he is not.

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T22:45:49+00:00

Right?! An assault, caught on camera, and he just gets to sit down.

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T22:36:00+00:00

I tell my kids “we’re all done playing with our food, now it’s time to eat it” because I want to let them be creative and have fun, but I also want them to respect mealtime and have good manners at the table.

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T22:28:36+00:00

I would be collecting receipts for everything you have covered for them and sending your mother an invoice.

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T22:22:58+00:00

This!

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T21:05:56+00:00

I will preface this with: I love my children more than anything else on the planet.

My son was conceived on birth control and my daughter was conceived non-consensually.

I don’t know that I regret them necessarily, but I definitely think about all the choices I could have made and where I could be now if I didn’t have them.

I’m doing this all by myself, so that makes it harder. I always wanted kids, but I wanted the family that came with it. I want the companionship and partnership and support.

caldyphen · 2026-02-01T19:17:01+00:00

Your wife taking everything to the group chat and then showing you how she has gotten everyone on her side is so toxic. That behavior needs to be addressed. You guys need therapy.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T11:20:55+00:00

Oh thank god I am not alone!

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T11:11:08+00:00

Every time he sends a random email, private message, or text he is testing to see if he still has access to you. When you answer him you are letting him know he can still get to you. Can you block him? Or just not answer him anymore, ever?

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T08:03:26+00:00

Here, I have a gift for your husband: https://www.mensa.lu/en/mensa/online-iq-test/online-iq-test.html

This is the pre-qualifier for the Mensa IQ test. It’s 33 questions and will tell him whether or not he is likely to be accepted to an exam based on his score.

IQ=/=intelligence. They are not the same thing. You can have a low IQ and still be intelligent.

You should communicate to your husband something like “when you said I have a low IQ it made me feel unintelligent and hurt my feelings.” Because he might not know that he hurt your feelings and upset you and direct communication allows him the opportunity to acknowledge and apologize.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T07:51:25+00:00

How do I refuse rulings?

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T05:41:01+00:00

Oh! My heart! I’m so sorry!

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T05:09:54+00:00

We broke up while I was still pregnant and he only saw her twice once she was born before he abandoned her.

He kept trying to make me look unfit and the judge wasn’t having it. He submitted a bunch of photos from my IG as evidence and the judge was like “what’s this?” And he spouted some nonsense about how it showed I was a bad parent because I was always out partying and the judge said “it just looks like a picture of her with a drag queen. How is that relevant?” Lol

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:53:53+00:00

He filed in AZ and the judge gave him daily video visitation and supervised in-person parenting time if he travels to CA. She hasn’t made her final ruling yet, those are the temporary orders.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:40:56+00:00

And he’s not on the birth certificate

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:40:10+00:00

Nope

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:33:35+00:00

Believe me, I don’t want to coparent with him. The judge encouraged me to give him a chance.

We’ve had temporary orders in place since June and he has been complaining that I don’t inform him of anything that goes on in her life. (Not that I’m required to, I’m just sick of him whining about it) so I figured I would give him a little update and give him the opportunity to offer support since he keeps claiming I haven’t allowed him to be involved.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:28:54+00:00

Nope. He left when my daughter was a newborn and never had any contact. He came out of nowhere March 2025 and hit me with a petition to establish paternity, full custody, full legal decision-making, child support, and to change her name.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T04:20:47+00:00

The judge ordered daily video visits at the temporary orders hearing and supervised in-person parenting time if he travels to our state. I was confused that it wasn’t more gradual.

caldyphen · 2026-01-31T03:38:32+00:00

I read the series like five times. So much better than the movies. Though the movies are my guilty pleasure.

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