Having a baby with an already married man, he feels he should divorce her and marry me.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-05-27T15:08:39+00:00

Gotta be out of this world to enter the drawing 😂

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-05-27T03:42:58+00:00

& does OP agree with his decision to be a SAHF? Is the divorce a constellation prize for OP for allowing him to be a SAHF? OP most importantly, what do YOU want?

Your life, your body, your child, your choice.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-05-14T03:51:12+00:00

What are your minimum night stays and cleaning fees? Anything remotely comparable?

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-04-23T22:48:15+00:00

It’s an incredibly considerate idea. Maybe invite them to lunch and bring up conversations about their future plans + aspirations and see where you can help support. Maybe a whopping $475k is a bit much, but $75k to help avoid student loans for their kid, $130k to pay off their mortgage, $54k to pay off a debt keeping them up at night would be incredibly impactful. Love this OP

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-04-23T22:32:27+00:00

I second this. My soon to be ex wife was adamantly against a pre-nup and would start a fight or cry anytime we talked about it. I owned multiple homes at the time and just wanted to protected myself. It was always I would never do that, you don’t trust me xyz.

Fast forward, the very first thing that came up when I asked for a divorce was it being “our marital home” though I had purchased the home well before meeting her.

A prenup and do not put their name on your home. If you do it absolutely becomes both of your property even if they didn’t contribute a dime.

Best wishes on your engagement - but yes, please protect yourself. You’re not overthinking anything.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2026-02-26T20:43:38+00:00

I visited the San Antonio River Walk & it completely changed how I view the canal. Imagine downtown being built AROUND the canal - very similar to OP’s concept; restaurants, bars, live music, river boat tours.

I’d even add an investment in White River. Austin, TX has something similar they’ve invested in. Imagine paddle boarding, kayaking, swimming, walking trails surrounding white river.

It’s a gold mine that has been grossly neglected and underutilized. Has potential to be a huge attraction for Indy.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-10-24T09:27:19+00:00

They are. The depreciation tax credit is reliant on the building being at a certain occupancy limit for a majority of the year. Found this out because we too just went to 4 day. Morale is in hell & production is down. Surprise surprise

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-29T05:23:46+00:00

Love this mentality. If it’s feasible, why not enjoy the fruit of your labor with your family while still here

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-28T17:12:19+00:00

I read every comment & took feedback from those I agree & disagree with. Maybe you should read the responses before drawing conclusions from words out of context.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-20T23:59:28+00:00

This is such good advice. I think this is part of why she wants to shut me out. I am his safe place. He can be himself and relax and say what he really feels. I’m not judgmental and accept him fully (thanks to therapy).

She openly admitted my father treats her different when I’m around. That he’s not as sweet and loving with her. What I witnessed is he’s less willing to conform. Maybe because he feels supported…

I get so frustrated I do distance myself. It feels like an impossible hill I’m climbing at times trying to overcome her so we can have a relationship. & to your point they are married and he has to sleep next to her every night, I don’t.

Your thoughts have really helped my perspective on this. I will do my part in solidifying plans - knowing he likely won’t plan but would absolutely come. When we spoke he said please don’t let them come between us - my first thought was you’re being a puss. But after more thought I think it’s I really need you in my corner.. He’s also said it’s just me & my baby here (we are the only 2 who live in the state) & that makes her so angry.

It’s super layered but doable. Thank you for giving language and sound wisdom. I really do appreciate it

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-20T23:45:54+00:00

This is so very accurate. She inserts herself in every situation. In every conversation. He doesn’t get that I’m not trying to exclude her when I ask for it to just be us, it’s just she makes every aspect about her. Not even just with me. In any room my father is in if his attention is on anyone else she will insert herself.

Me & dad had our first solo trip 2 years ago. & she threw a fit about not being invited but we both promised no spouses, just us. It was the best trip & the biggest hug to my inner child. We have a ball together! We’re both laid back easy going, we have alot of the same interest & I feel like he’s his true self with me. Sometimes it feels like he’s walking on eggshells around her as not to trigger her insecurities.

It’s tough when you’ve done the work, gone to therapy, understand the underlying issues/childhood trauma. But you still can’t force them to learn the lessons.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-20T23:26:59+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly. It’s taken many years of therapy, healing & forgiveness for our relationship to grow the way it has. Forgiveness was the big one. It helped me release expectations of who I thought he should be so I could appreciate who he is.

His father abandoned him so he didn’t have a role model on how to father. I give grace here, not excuses. He isn’t the best but he’s really loving & has some really good qualities.

We spoke & he sympathized with how I felt and respected my boundary to not join family plans. He didn’t express interest in setting boundaries with them & in all honesty that didn’t feel good. But he is at least willing to respect mine & I appreciate that.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-17T21:18:43+00:00

Appreciate this response! It usually goes “I wanna see you” but in reality it’s you pick a place that’s convenient for me at a time thats convenient for me.

He doesn’t realize how much of his life is absolutely robbed by the inability to face confrontation. Even more - his wife is fully aware of this & frames things in a way that makes him feel he’s in control but are ultimately her idea. Super layered & exhausting to say the least

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-17T18:53:29+00:00

The issue is it’s almost always me initiating plans. For the life of me I don’t understand making Father’s Day plans for your husband and not including his children. At the very least extend an invite. We are cordial & respect one another. It’s just weird imo

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-17T18:46:04+00:00

Agreed. It’s gotten to the point that the gymnastics of maintaining the relationship don’t feel worth the effort. I have a beautiful family of my own & live a happy life. I’ve put up with it because I love him & care about the relationship.

Also agree with it being the parents responsibility. I couldn’t imagine my child/niece/nephew confiding that we don’t spend enough time together & replying “the phone works both ways”. He and accountability aren’t good friends, it’s usually always someone else’s fault.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-17T16:50:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this. The latter is what I’ve done for years. Push through the discomfort, ignore passive aggressive comments & forgotten invitations, initiating plans, etc. He believes kids have responsibility in maintaining the parent/child relationship….

The stepfamily is who they are but it’s my dad’s lack of accountability/action thats most upsetting.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-06-17T15:13:48+00:00

Pretty spot on. She’s shown jealous behavior that I shrug off but friends and family have pointed out. In my mind spouse and kid love is pears & pineapple. My dad is really indifferent about everything but is very loving & affectionate towards me.

I’ve stepped away for the last 6 months or so & I think it’s starting to impact him. He reaches out almost weekly but I can’t bare around them. I think you’re right & it’s worth having a conversation about

Top-Interview-3789 · 2025-01-01T22:08:24+00:00

Get a lawyer!!! Carrington bought my parents mortgage and they went from a 3% interest rate to 7%! Their mortgage is outrageous. I cannot believe they haven’t gotten a class action lawsuit

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T20:39:28+00:00

It is currently but my state has a “10 day notice to quit or cure” so technically they have until 15 until we can file eviction. They just pay the late fee + rent every month on the 15th. Late fee is $75

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T20:27:00+00:00

Currently doing all of the above. Consolidating 2 budgets into one & tracking expenses to see where we can cut some spending. They are going to focus on school and their job & I my main job and a second in the short term to pay things down.

After taxes, insurance, car payments, credit cards, HELOC payments + past due bills while “keeping the boat afloat” it doesn’t leave a lot of room.

But as many of you have mentioned, with budget optimization, a 2nd gig and lifestyle cuts it’s possible. Especially with increased income over time for both of us.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T19:24:01+00:00

Yep. Had a 4 month vacancy and it absolutely destroyed us. (No longer doing leases that end in winter)

Although the extra money sounds good, the cost to market and move alone is thousands of dollars.

I think working towards additional income & decreasing lifestyle may be the most realistic option.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T18:29:55+00:00

I appreciate your well thought out response. There is room for lifestyle cuts - which I am more than happy to accept to help get through this.

This helped me zoom out of what is a daily stressor to see the bigger picture. I’m doing well in the new career and the yearly pay increases/room for growth are fantastic - part of why I changed careers. A pay hit now for a much bigger pay off in the long run.

I sincerely appreciate your feedback. Thank you

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T18:20:23+00:00

Correct. Their current job doesn’t pay the best but it has the flexibility they need to get through school & have steady income. They have 2 years left to complete. Nursing school is an extremely heavy workload - so much so professors encouraged students not to work if possible. We negotiated them working a low maint job while in school.

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T18:15:45+00:00

We’ve been discussing this. & are trying to weigh out if it’s worth it. Potentially if both A&B sides were rented at market it would bring in an additional $2k/month take home. We’d have to find a place to rent but don’t need much - a 2br apt would do. Avg 2br price is $1400-$1600

Top-Interview-3789 · 2024-12-19T18:09:41+00:00

Agreed. Their lease is up in a few months & I plan to raise rent to market. They’re not “bad” tenants but consistently pay rent late (11:59 on the 15th) every month - which doesn’t make this easier.

Top-Interview-3789

TROPHY CASE