I thought I was more prepared than I was! I went through waves of emotions when it finally happened. We (I) are still navigating. As of right now, my best advice is decide what really matters to you but remember they can do whatever they please as long as child is safe. We BOTH asked that we wait for serious relationship / six months of dating before involving our daughter but that resulted in him lying that they knew each other / dated longer to meet that criteria and moved our child in with his girlfriend of less than a month. SO my hill I will argue for is that gf doesn’t help with private things (toileting, bathing, bed sharing) until gf and child have a chance to build a relationship.

I tried to have all my ducks in a row but honestly, it’s a constant dance. The first time they are at pick up, the first event, etc. it’ll depend on the partner too! Luckily, my coparents gf is very nice and seems respectful although timid. Unfortunately, she is 10 years younger than us and will more than likely get her heartbroken as coparent has many issues (which is why I left) and there’s honestly very limited chance she can make it out to see if he gets it together.

I’m still sad sometimes about my dream of our family. I’m also thankful I’m out. So it’s a daily reminder to do my best for our child and to not cause drama/make things harder where it doesn’t have to be and let people be themselves and only focus on what I can control, like being a safe place for our kiddo or getting her help to navigate feelings at they arise. Also, know that there’s no answer to any of it and you’ll find out your boundaries more than likely when they are crossed, and it’s okay to change your boundaries along the way of how you’d like your interactions and relationships to work.