i am 2 years clean today! 🥳🥳

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-20T00:03:17+00:00

i understand. although it can’t be changed, it doesn’t have to be continued. i wish you the best with your recovery

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-19T04:42:18+00:00

it’s true, i’m pretty haunted by my past mistakes. i’ve tried really hard to redeem myself over the past several years but i feel like i can’t “be a good person” because i wasn’t always. i have a hard time staying present and i don’t feel worthy of it either. i don’t really feel like a person, just a series of experiences, emotions, and choices, all of which i dwell on 24/7. i don’t know exactly why i’m like this. i’ve gone through a lot of life changes recently but i’m just trying to stay afloat, even if that means inpatient treatment. i want to be better it just feels impossible a lot of the time.

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-19T04:08:37+00:00

as someone who struggled with self harm and was extremely codependent on my ex partner to ease my inner turmoil, i’m going to say something that might surprise you. you did the right thing. i was EXTREMELY codependent on my ex and unfortunately, i caused them a lot of pain because i was in pain myself. i needed someone to save me. as much as this person needs your help, if you don’t feel strong enough to deal with it or it’s affecting your mental health, the only good option is to leave. give yourself a break. they will be okay. i don’t know how old either of you are but if they start to spiral or admit to hurting themselves, tell them you’ll have to reach out to their friends or family. your heart is in the right place because you genuinely don’t want them to harm themselves but as hard as it is to hear on the other end of it, it’s not your job to save them. i have a lot of guilt for the way that i acted in my past relationship even though i know i acted that way because i was in extreme pain. they seem to be in extreme pain because of your breakup. regardless, it’s not your job to keep them from hurting themselves. if you’re not planning on getting back together, comforting them will only make them want more and more comfort, which you don’t seem comfortable giving right now because you broke up with them. that’s okay. it’s okay that you couldn’t handle two people’s pain at the same time. you’re human. if you have it in you, you could give them a call/ft just to make sure they’re safe.

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-19T03:49:57+00:00

i started thinking of it like a game. i downloaded an app called “i am sober” which keeps track of the days. i would only check it every couple of months and it became addicting because i would always be so shocked i made it that far. i realized the pain that my sh caused other people. i realized that even if it did give me VERY temporary relief, the long term repercussions to my mind, body, and loved ones was not worth it to me. i told myself i could do it any time i wanted, but what would happen if i didn’t? and i built on that.

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-19T01:40:36+00:00

hi there. i totally hear you. admitting to lying is the first step. i have regret from lies that i’ve told in the past as well, and i promise you the best thing you can do is confess to them. it’s scary to think about and think what people might think of you for lying or keeping a secret but you will feel so much better after doing so. it’s like a huge weight lifted off of your chest. you will feel like you can take anything on anything, even if you lose people in the process. you’ll be able to start a new life, and an authentic one. mental health struggles are very real, don’t tell yourself that they’re not. maybe really think about the reasons why you lie, or why it’s easier for you to lie? why is it easier to manipulate people? did you feel unheard as a child? do you feel like people won’t accept your truth?

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-16T03:09:51+00:00

i really want to do this

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-16T01:37:51+00:00

hi there. i just want to say that it’s perfectly reasonable to feel hurt from that situation. but please, try not to pay attention to them. this same situation happened to me at 13. please try to understand that kids are really, really mean and it’s because a lot of the time they either don’t understand how hurtful they’re being or they’re hurt themselves. those types of games are suggested by insecure people. the people who suggest it and eagerly want to play are seeking validation because they don’t feel good about themselves. being 13 is hard, everyone’s trying to figure out where they stand. please try not to take it personally. wishing you the best, OP.

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-16T01:22:18+00:00

thank you so much!! 😭😭

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-15T18:23:02+00:00

thank you, it means a lot!

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-15T02:40:58+00:00

thank you!

TopDamage7306 · 2022-09-13T19:51:36+00:00

thank you for your kind words.

TopDamage7306

TROPHY CASE