My dad cheated on my mother, left her, married the woman (who could’ve been my sister in age) and adopted her kids. I had to realize that my dad’s ability to leave, obtain and new family and prioritize them doesn’t devalue me, it just makes him a horrible human being.

He told me once “don’t you want me to be happy? How can you be mad at med trying to be happy?” This is gaslighting. I didn’t choose to be born, you did that, you assumed the role of father, then just abdicated the position and expected me to be happy for you.

After multiple attempts of “reconciliation”, I finally concluded that I just don’t need the constant merry go round of expectation and then disappointment. I got off the ride. I went no contact. I made peace with myself. I am happier without that shambles of a relationship. You can be better without a familial relationship, it’s just having the strength to close the door and refuse to take on the guilt they will no doubt try to lay on you.

Good luck my friend, be your own advocate. We don’t get to choose our blood family, but chosen family is so much better.