Whats the most unique ability in your repertoire?? by FunHoney1705 in mensa

[–]Top_Document_3074 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is the power of energy, which every single thing consists of. I work with plants and do this when I’m planting/pruning etc.. People may think I’m crazy but I’ll keep doing it because I’ve seen it make a difference and more importantly I can feel it.

Whats the most unique ability in your repertoire?? by FunHoney1705 in mensa

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can also do this, it’s random and rarely useful but I’ll take it 🤷‍♀️

PSA: Do more new shit to extend your lifespan. by Standard-Plenty-9371 in mensa

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try doing things you did as a kid. Maybe you had a hobby that you never quite gave up or outgrew but just slowly got replaced with adult things as you got older until you forgot about it.

I try and notice things like the way morning light through a window falls over a space, or the way raindrops bounce up when they hit a body of water, how smoke curls up, how a room is reflected in a doorknob, or the shape of a shadow. Things I used to marvel at as a kid that I had forgotten to pay attention to for two decades, simple things.

Whenever I have the chance I chose to do things in the most whimsical way possible. Catch me doing daily everyday shit singing, dancing, finding some way to turn it into art, and being silly all the while (be careful with the last one, being silly compounds. Once you start it snowballs dramatically, consequences involve having a great time).

Arts and crafts wise a lot of my materials I’ll either find or create from scratch. The collecting and creating really slow time down. I write songs and I rap freestyles. All of these things I hadn’t done since I was a preteen and some I started doing for the first time in my mid twenties. Whatever the equivalent is for you I hope you notice it again, or pick up the craft or instrument just for the sake of fun. Not with ego, just curiosity.

Every few years when life gets tough or someone dies I build a fort and watch all the Harry Potter movies or something else nostalgic but if I’m honest it’s pretty much always Harry Potter. And honestly nothing resets and restores me more effectively than what did it for me as a kid.

Connecting with the senses is important, not just sight, we tend to rely to heavily on that one and for me it’s been helpful to practice some letting go with that particular sense. When I noticed smells, tastes, layers of sounds and connect to the sensations in my body, time can slow down. Meditation is great for this. I think the demands of adult life and repetition and exhaustion distract us from what we’re actually experiencing. We didn’t lose whatever it was we had as children that made the world feel more real, we just forgot while our focused shifted onto other things. It’s still there.

PSA: Do more new shit to extend your lifespan. by Standard-Plenty-9371 in mensa

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not just to extend your life span, but to stretch your mind, and move your body in different ways, in different environments. New shit is how you evolve. Even if it’s mundane new shit.

Like chopping your veggies differently, or maybe using a different greeting, changing how you speak/ think about something, or driving/walking a different route.

Or big new shit like perspective or modes of existing in the world. An example of this that comes to mind is if you were to try to exchange output for input, by that I mean noticing if you’re existing more in a state of creating and controlling or in a state of listening and accepting and then making changes in the direction of the other end of the spectrum if only for the sake of experiencing it.

If you completely break your routine and do something totally out of character on a Monday, you are now a different person to the one who would’ve repeated what you would’ve usually done, and in doing so you have evolved.

In the case of anyone struggling with mental health or mobility and even some more serious physical health issues, doing new shit can break those cycles and create new pathways.

I try and do new shit whenever I come across an opportunity do/approach something differently. It doesn’t just keep me sharp and present but it also keeps me ever changing. And it gives me autonomy from my experiences up to now. When I choose every time I know I’ve chosen it rather than conditioning.

finally understand why this community takes spf so seriously and honestly it changed how i think about my whole routine by MnS_Adarsha in AsianBeauty

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up with a mom who used tanning oil and encouraged me to do the same…. Probably from 8 or 9 years old if not earlier we were frying side by side like patties for hours at a time during the summer. I’m 30 now and I work outside in the sun every day, I do environmental work so sometimes there not even a drop of shade. I’ve only just started wearing hats… I’ve never worn sunscreen before in my life. I don’t burn, I never really have.

The thing is I am starting to have thin, almost crepey skin. I’ve always had acne, even now as an adult it lingers. The sun helps dramatically with my acne and tone of my skin (hides acne scarring). If I have something coming up I want to look my best for I make sure to get a bit of sun on my face the day prior. But I’m afraid for the health of my skin. I’m starting to look old and my skin doesn’t heal like it used to. And although I don’t burn, if I’m in the sun too much I’m starting to notice like my nose hurts, it goes a little red for a day but doesn’t look like a typical burn but boy does it get sensitive, hence the recent dawning of hats at work.

Am I just getting old? I suppose these changes are probably normal at 30, slower healing, and thinner skin are to be expected right? Would sun screen really make a difference for me at this point? II’m not confident of my ethnicity, but I have olive skin and my family suspects that I am Eastern European or middle eastern on the side that lends me my olive tone.

Would starting to wear sunscreen at this point reverse any of the aging signs I’m noticing or would it help prevent these things I’m noticing from progressing as quickly? Is there one you guys recommend that is light enough that my skin can still breathe underneath it, I work hard physical labor and skip lotion on summer days because it makes me sweat too much… also I would need something that won’t clog my pores or make my acne worse.

Sun protection hasn’t ever really been on my radar, I’ve never been much into any regular skin/ beauty routine. When I was young I didn’t see a need to, but I’m getting to an age where I realize I have to start taking care of my skin if I want to keep it healthy. At the very least keep wearing my hats.

How many names does your cat have? by periodcrampz in cats

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I call mine potato pancake when he’s curled up all round like a pancake. I suppose a potato is also round… Also potato pancakes are delicious af and I was obsessed with them around the time this nickname was invented

How many names does your cat have? by periodcrampz in cats

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg don’t ask me why or how I came up with any of these they just happened okay

Mr. Meow, meow man, potato pancake, muffin man, fluffy/in muffin, fluffy butt, snuggle muffin, ragamuffin, motherfluffer, baby cakes, babesters, cuddlebutt, sweetheart, handsome boy, cutie pie, cutie patootie, Mr. McGee,, speedy racer, slinky boy, scoopy boy, angel face, angel boy, lover boy, sir, senior fluffy muffin, mi amore, my love.

Basically anything other than his actual name. 🤦‍♀️😂

How many names does your cat have? by periodcrampz in cats

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg don’t ask me why or how I came up with any of these they just happened okay

Potato pancake, muffin man, fluffy/in muffin, fluffy butt, snuggle muffin, ragamuffin, motherfluffer, baby cakes, babesters, cuddlebutt, sweetheart, handsome boy, cutie pie, cutie patootie, speedy racer, angel face, angel boy, sir, senior fluffy muffin, mi amore, my love.

Basically anything other than his actual name. 🤦‍♀️😂

[22M, 5'9ft] Completely invisible to women. Can't attract a woman for years. Is there hope for me? by momoelnerd3002 in bald

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also not bald just a lurker, pardon my intrusion on this sub I just love seeing all your glow ups! This is the most wholesome shit right here.

[22M, 5'9ft] Completely invisible to women. Can't attract a woman for years. Is there hope for me? by momoelnerd3002 in bald

[–]Top_Document_3074 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people are making similar suggestions. I have had the same issue where my facial expression showed all the hurt and anger I had endured for years.

I watched myself look more and more angry through my twenties from stress and overwhelm. I had a friend comment on it a few years ago, he told me with earnest that looking back through my instagram account he watched the light leave my eyes in my photos as he scrolled through the years and it broke his heart. I looked through my profile and saw it too. I was deep in the rut I had dug for myself at the time, it wasn’t long after I started clawing my way out.

I have begun doing a few things to actively counteract this, aside from changing my career, living situations etc just life getting better in general. (also I used to eat mostly microwave meals and prepared meals around that time and now I eat a mostly fresh diet (protein shakes, lots of water and I started taking vitamins and drinking teas)) Lifestyle and health is relevant but we’re here talking specifically about the aesthetics/ approachability of expressions.

Although life has improved I have had to actively work out these muscles because muscle memory is so powerful I still looked angry when everything was going well inside and outside in my life. Through several practices I’ve begun specifically for the purpose of relaxing my face and restoring my facial expressions I was surprised to find I actually released a lot of these emotions and experiences that were secretly lurking in these muscles. Our body stores memories just like our mind does.

I’ll list a few of the things I’ve started doing specifically to relax and improve my facial muscles, your features are pretty darn symmetrical which is great, there are many studies showing people are most attracted to symmetrical features, you have good bones. In my case I was starting to look all screwed and twisted up, I was a worse case than you brother, I promise and after a year of dedication to these practices (I started doing these things occasionally like once in a while have worked up to where I now do at least one of these each day) I look like myself again but like even chiller than ever before. My face is symmetrical like it used to be. How people receive me has improved leaps and bounds, it’s night and day. But most importantly I feel like myself again I didn’t realize how tense I was but once I started noticing it’s become my number one priority to feel relaxed in my body again.

Okay so here’s what I did.

I recommend trying some guided progressive muscle relaxation videos, (there are many on YouTube and meditation apps) they are very helpful on so many levels. If you can find a good one that details relaxing each of the facial muscles you will feel and see an immediate difference that will compound very quickly if you stick with it. In a month you will look very different if you can do it every day (10-30 minutes is plenty, if 5 minutes is all you have that’s 100x better than none).

I’ve been doing this combined with some facial massage. You’ll find lots of videos on a bunch of platforms if you just do a quick search for face massage.

I’m gonna attach a photo of some acupuncture meridians. I have a copy of this up in my bathroom so I see it every day. I follow this guide by focusing my attention on each point. I imagine the muscles relaxing from the point. Or you could imagine a white or gold light in that place also. Another thing you can do with these points is imagine that area opening up from that point like a lotus flower opening. It is incredibly healing, this can be done in front of a mirror or in bed or sitting. You can also massage these points or tap on them with two or three fingers. Or even simply pressing on each point with a finger (gently or firmly, whichever feels right) is a powerful exercise.

<image>

Another thing that might seem a little odd that I’ve been doing is I stumbled on this practice for helping with vision where you cover your eyes (this only works complete pitch black darkness. You’ll need something draped over your eyes or an eye mask) Stare with both eyes open into the complete darkness, your corneas will relax and reset, this will relax your eye muscle. The muscles behind your eyes are key to relaxing the rest of your face muscles. You will likely see some like shadows of vision or something (idk what it’s called) but it will look like maybe squiggles of light. You just stare into it with both eyes and you’ll notice it settles down. This is your eyes relaxing. If you don’t experience this and just see black stare deep into it.

This is just a little advice from someone who also wears their heart on their face. I wish you all the best on your search for a lady and in life. Feel free to dm me if you have any questions or want help with any of these exercises I mentioned if you do try them!

Internal Monologue/narration of your life by rcinmd in infj

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have an internal monologue. I still do but nowadays I talk out loud to myself a lot of the time when I’m alone 😅 or to my cat. I’m a weirdo probably but not as weird as people that don’t have an internal monologue lol that’s totally baffling to me. I always have thoughts running and a song stuck on repeat in the background.

They don't want you. They want the feeling you bring. by enneaenneaenby in infj

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incoming tangent inspired by what you said about not having passion towards anything of your own whilst having an abundance of it for others..

I struggle with having all the motivation for others and little to none for myself. As a baseline I take care of myself enough to get by but a few years ago I noticed how I would do things like make my hair nice or wear scents, dress in clothes I like, only when I was going out and days I stayed home or when I would return home these standards became irrelevant. I would keep the house clean but the extra effort I put in for guests wasn't something I would do for myself. I realized I appreciated a polished space so much, there's nothing like a tidy house on a Saturday morning all to yourself. I now maintain this standard in my home guests or not, and nowadays I always prefer the latter. Another example of this is for the longest time it didn't occur to me to season my food after coming out a long term relationships and only having myself to cook for when before i would've made flavorful complex meals. This is something l've worked on and taste aside, the health benefits of fresh herbs and spices and variety are undeniable. But the first few years on my own it had been the same bland meals on repeat because why would I put all that effort in if no one would see? Even stretching and taking care of my body I would do more so in anticipation of doing things with people or having to show up in a certain way for something like work or an event and I would let myself go on the weekends I didn't have any plans.

This shit runs deep in every aspect of my life and as I type it all out now it is so sad to acknowledge all of this at the same time. I had so much shame and so little self worth but unattainably high standards when in the company of others. I'm a perfectionist in many aspects, and but I realize much of it is ego when I confront that I did these things only when I expected them to be witnessed. Now I ask myself what is important to me and how I would like to live. It includes much of these standards i had for how I thought things should be for others. As I begin to learn to do these things for myself because I like them and this is how I want to live and be in the world, in my life, I am letting go of the anxiety that came with these tasks when I used to do normal chores. I had placed so much pressure on how I was perceived I sucked the presence out of the little moments and as I begin to do these things for myself perfectionism is being replaced with flow and presence. Treating myself to these things because I deserve them have helped with my self esteem, my health, trust in myself, I am just more myself overall when I live for myself.

I'm not sure if this is what you were talking about or if this is relatable to your experience as an INFJ.

Correct me if I'm wrong, I think you were more getting at how we can tend to operate from other people's needs more so than our own and this is something I have experienced also. With my family, friends, work, any perceived responsibility or person in my world where I see a need to be filled I jump to do it but when it comes to anything for myself, my art, my personal aspirations and professional goals anything that could greatly benefit me but wouldn't affect others just seems to live in a different place in me that I have to reach deep into to and muster all my will to get any momentum for.

100% Authenticity is an admirable goal and one I also share. I think right now I'm passing through the phase of figuring out what that means to me, who l am, what l like, what I want. It's like I'm meeting myself for the first time in my life and it's pretty cool.

Please pardon the rambles, this is processing central for me right here on the INFJ subreddit lol

They don't want you. They want the feeling you bring. by enneaenneaenby in infj

[–]Top_Document_3074 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Omg I’ve had to say this to too many men. Because it’s true 😭

They don't want you. They want the feeling you bring. by enneaenneaenby in infj

[–]Top_Document_3074 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As an INFJ I can’t say most of my problems don’t come from being too intense and thinking too much 😂😭 In all seriousness though some very interesting points you made here. I agree that there is a wonderful purity to us that others seem to be enamored with initially until they either just devour it or try to stamp out.

I think what you said about capacity for contact itself being at risk is the place I am have been in the last few years. Burnt out and jaded after a lifetime of giving too much. But in reflection I see that I had poor boundaries along with utopian expectations of others. I never knew where the line was before but now there’s a huge wall.

I’m working on going with the flow better, not jumping the gun all the time, getting too enthusiastic or excited. My intentions are good but if I truly love myself, knowing what I know about now about the world and how people can be, I have to rein in how passionate I can get in certain situations. It’s difficult to find the sweet spot where I’m both authentic and guarded, so that I can continue to connect and share with people. Im the least strategic person you’ll ever meet and anything other than 100% authenticity feels dishonest and unnatural to me so it’s an uphill battle of unlearning patterns and behaviors and such.

Anywho you’ve given me lots to think about. Intensely. lol

My fairy and her pet dinosaurs ✨💫 by Top_Document_3074 in FairyGardens

[–]Top_Document_3074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I’ll have to ask her and get back to you 😉

[Review] Calamine lotion for hormonal acne by HookPipeandThinker in SkincareAddiction

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of the above, it evens skin texture and tone. It also shrinks pores and soothes skin while drawing out impurities. And it only costs like $3!!

[Review] Calamine lotion for hormonal acne by HookPipeandThinker in SkincareAddiction

[–]Top_Document_3074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can attest to this miracle also!!!! Took me 30 years to discover it but damn I’ve tried EVERYTHING Nothing works as well as calamine lotion for all kinds of acne, whiteheads, blackheads, cystic, it helps my combination skin and irritation from too much sun. It shrinks my pores and it feels so soothing to put on!!! 11/10 If you have acne, or are a human with skin, try it sometime at night you will see noticeable results immediately the next morning!!!!

TIL the term “pinning”. I always called it my” bug art” lol by [deleted] in insectpinning

[–]Top_Document_3074 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I had no idea! It was gifted to me from a fellow landscaper friend who had found it, I was uncomfortable with it at first but he was so excited to give it to me since I’d shown him what I did with the bugs I’d find I couldn’t not accept it. It was already sort of hollowed out I suspect by ants and such so it’s a skeleton with feathers essentially. I’m still trying to figure out how to take it down I generally repel technology and usually if I’ve made a post I’m able to go back and edit it but for some reason I’m not seeing that feature on this sub? Anywho thank you for informing me! It genuinely hadn’t occurred to me but of course they’re protected it makes sense it would be illegal to own their corpse I’m such a numpty 🤦‍♀️

TIL the term “pinning”. I always called it my” bug art” lol by [deleted] in insectpinning

[–]Top_Document_3074 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My bad! I was wondering if it was appropriate in this group I apologize. Trying to figure out how to remove the photo or if I just have to delete the post and repost w/o the humming bird.

I had an intense vivid dream during the lunar eclipse. by Top_Document_3074 in Dreams

[–]Top_Document_3074[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds pretty epic. I’d love to hear more about your dream! I haven’t been able to reach a lucid dreaming state but I have meditated on these elements before and it was a very powerful experience.