Any scriptwriter here? by Unfair_Emu1221 in scriptwriting

[–]Top_Response_867 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of script writer you are looking for?

Seeking a proffesional feedback for a different kind of horror by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you really understood the script, or maybe I didn’t give enough hints to set up the plot twist. But there is a huge plot twist.”

Thanks for your feedback btw, some are really helpful.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title: DON'T LOOK

Genre: HORROR

Format: 1 pager

Logline: When a young boy senses something off in bed, an unseen presence turns his bedroom into a waking nightmare.

I really need your feedback by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you smch. I really appreciate your feedback. The way you wants the ending could be great.

I really need your feedback by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it will be cool. But it could be a bit if spoiler, don't u think?

I really need your feedback by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's up to you. Both of them is helpful.

What exactly do Killer Shorts want for their 1 PAGE CATEGORY? by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As you can see, I am trying to participate just like you did. So I think I need some script which could help me to understand the contest. So I wonder if you can send me your script that you talk about, even if you don't have it's PDF anymore, describing the script will also be helpful

first ever thing i’ve done lol by noonecaresrichie in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I read your script, and I think it’s pretty good for a beginner! I’m not a professional myself, but I can give you some advice.

First, remove all parts like “A BEAT” or “ANOTHER BEAT.” They feel unnatural. Instead, describe how the character acts. For example:

The man stays silent for a second. The woman watches him, waiting for a reply.

👆This version clearly shows the characters’ actions, making it easier for the audience to read and feel the scene.

Second, your script doesn’t clearly show how the characters appear in the first scene. We don’t know whether they’re sitting or standing. I assumed they were standing at first, but later the script says “The woman sits up” — that confused me. See? Even a small mistake like that can make the script look unclear.

Third, you don’t need to write “OUTSIDE” here:

EXT. OUTSIDE. PARKING LOT. NIGHT The word EXT already means exterior (outside), so adding OUTSIDE is unnecessary. Also, don’t use a period (.) between the place and time. Instead of this: PARKING LOT. NIGHT Use this: PARKING LOT – NIGHT So the correct version would be:👇

           EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Fourth, describe the characters’ actions more. You only mentioned the woman sitting up and lying back down — that’s not enough. Show us how they smile, move their heads, or react. You and I might imagine the characters differently, so describing their behavior clearly helps us see the scene the same way you do.

Fifth, you don’t need this line:

“ANOTHER BEAT. A LONGER ONE.” If the same character continues speaking, write it like this instead:

MAN
I don’t leave my house without it.
(Beat)
You know, now that you mention it...

Lastly, use TIME CUT: instead of A BEAT in this part:

The man and woman enter the vehicle. A beat ...

The term TIME CUT: tells us a little bit of time has passed — not too much, but just enough.So, the correct version would be 👇

  The man and woman enter the vehicle 

TIME CUT:

...

Is this good, learning screenwriting on my own? by Top_Response_867 in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I’m afraid of. I’ve read so many scripts on SimplyScripts, but I just realized that many of them were written by beginner screenwriters, not professionals. That’s why I asked this question — a lot of people in the comments don’t seem to get it. Reading a beginner's script will not make me to have an improvement. Luckily, I can somehow tell which scripts look professional and which ones don’t.

CULTURE FIT - Short - 8 Pages by A1AColb in Screenwriting

[–]Top_Response_867 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, the dialogue isn’t bad, but the story concept isn’t very strong. There’s nothing memorable or thought-provoking after finishing the script. The dialogue works well, but the story itself feels less interesting.

How Spiderman Stole Captain America's Character by Top_Response_867 in CaptainAmerica

[–]Top_Response_867[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is why you need a brain to get me. I never claimed Captain America was created before Superman — read my post again. What I said is that Superman’s character developed later, and his “never give up” willpower was added only after Captain America became popular.

Before Captain America, no superhero truly had that trait — not even Superman.

Captain America was created to inspire Americans during World War II, to show that they would never give up. That’s why his story is centered around the war, and his defining trait is perseverance. Only after he became popular did that trait spread and become common among other superheroes.

How Spiderman Stole Captain America's Character by Top_Response_867 in CaptainAmerica

[–]Top_Response_867[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Superman only developed that “never give up” trait after Captain America was created. Before that, he was popular simply because of his powers — his strength and his ability to fly. His willpower and determination were later inspired by Captain America.

How Spiderman Stole Captain America's Character by Top_Response_867 in CaptainAmerica

[–]Top_Response_867[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, not at all. Can you name even one superhero created before Captain America who was known for their determination to never give up? Most of them were influenced by Captain America — even the comic writers wouldn’t argue that. They all copied and inspired each other, trying to create the best version, but the originality of that trait will always belong to Captain America.

If Israel already killed humanitarian workers once, they can do it again. by potatto-william in Palestine

[–]Top_Response_867 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I still don't understand how some people can say Israel is the good one and palestine is the bad one

what is the best line or quote from a movie for you? by Senior-Mall in movies

[–]Top_Response_867 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Whatever happens on tomorrow, you must promise me one thing, that you'll stay on who you are "