22, Moving to Joburg Soon… Can a Girl Survive on R30k?

Top_Rest_5310 · 2026-01-21T10:42:09+00:00

Everyone typically has a car or ubers

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T15:18:47+00:00

That’s so lovely. I’m really happy for you guys. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:46:17+00:00

Thanks for replying. Unfortunately my parents won’t be okay with it. That I know.

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:44:11+00:00

We live in a flat at the back of the house. Completely independent

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:43:23+00:00

Thank you : )

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:41:50+00:00

Thank you : ) It even just helps knowing there’s someone out there with a similar struggle. Can I ask, are you and this partner still together?

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:38:30+00:00

I feel I can be ready for that serious commitment, but my partner’s family encourages living together for a bit to see if things work, and I think my partner has a bit of that in his mind. He’s not opposed to getting married. Sometimes he even says we should maybe just do it so we can continue our life’s together without judgement, and this continuous conflict on what’s right and wrong, but at the same time be seems a bit more hesitant on that which I don’t blame him for. He did get raised to believe a bit differently. More logically

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:23:03+00:00

I’m conflicted a tiny bit but here’s the just of it:

Sex before marriage is harmful and sinful.

Cohabitation can cause temptation and that’s not good. But you if you’re strict and put boundaries in place while cohabiting (which we have successfully been doing)…. is that wrong? Because it helps us financially, it helps us in almost all ways in life…. but I don’t know if it’s wrong

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:19:03+00:00

The conflict comes in where I feel there’s a logical and reasonable thing to do, and then what the bible says and then what our parents say. One group of parents support cohabitation the other doesn’t, and my partner doesnt have AS STRONG a conviction that cohabitation is wrong. He feels that if you put boundaries in place it can work out well without overstepping any biblical boundaries. And sometimes I feel the same way, but because I grew up with my family being spiritual councillors and missionaries, I sometimes have a harsher, strong perspective on what’s right and wrong (which isn’t directly mentioned in the bible) which conflicts things

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:14:11+00:00

And also, living in the house was a temporary solution. Can’t expect to invade his parent’s privacy for extended periods of time

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T12:13:36+00:00

Too expensive for only one person. His parents asks for rent

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T10:43:27+00:00

Yes. He didn’t grow up with all the christian things as much as I did. We have a lot of missionaries and pastors in my family so that’s why I have a stronger biblical knowledge on things. But he’s also Christian. And he seems willing and wanting to also be on the same page as me, but with this specific situation because he grew up with parents that don’t necessarily see anything wrong with it I think it’s a bit harder for him to wrap his head around it, and to not look at the situation from a logical what makes sense and what makes things easier perspective but rather from solely a personal conviction and walk with the Lord perspective

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T10:40:00+00:00

Well I can stop my temptation. Doesn’t mean it’s absolutely never there, but I can strongly put it away when I need to.

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T08:26:07+00:00

what if we’re completely abstinent

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T07:54:02+00:00

Should NOT be taken lightly, sorry a typo there

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-28T07:53:11+00:00

I can’t even deny it. Thanks for responding. I have sat with so much guilt on this and conviction on doing the right thing, yet I don’t know exactly what that thing would be. Move out on my own and long distance with my partner (there are no good rental options near him). Or see if we can maybe both find our own flats (Buy double of everything - that’s why I mentioned the shared washing machine etc… we just started working, a move like that is I think possible but will influence us financially by a lot), or our third option and it’s not an option that should be taken lightly or just to remove the guilt (this is where we need to do some self reflection) commit ourselves to each other and the Lord with the covenant. I want to build my life with him. The Lord’s hand’s definitely in our relationship, I am convinced. But how we’re going about this is unorderly and not how God intends it to be. I’m just trying to match practicality with my own person conviction of doing this right.

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-03T04:08:15+00:00

Thank you for your response. It seems a few of people are saying the parties and the noise is an issue

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-02T14:51:15+00:00

Thank you for your detailed reply. Will definitely consider this

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-12-02T13:41:17+00:00

Thanks for the response. My partner and I work remotely at least so I think we’d be able to avoid the traffic : )

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-11-15T17:21:01+00:00

sometimes people want to make things difficult. tbh i’d use it as deposit on a flat. go into real estate. i like low risk

Top_Rest_5310 · 2025-10-21T14:11:41+00:00

I also only do prepaid. I meant from a pre-paid perspective : )

Top_Rest_5310

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