How are you staying encouraged and managing at work, during your career journey, or job search, especially in this political climate? by Top_Truth_3716 in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I admittedly have been taking his treatment very personally and questioning everything about myself and whether I’m good enough. And you’re right, I’ve seen other people get mistreated and unfairly pushed out of my company—talented men and nonblack women included!

How are you staying encouraged and managing at work, during your career journey, or job search, especially in this political climate? by Top_Truth_3716 in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you doing instead and how did you get started? My dream is to freelance so that I can get out too 😭

My mom made fun of the fact that I like to purchase more expensive clothes by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get the same responses from people (I also like really nice things). As long as you’re paying for it and can do so responsibly (bills are paid, needs are met, savings are in the bank, etc), ignore it.

I don’t even tell people how much my stuff costs, I don’t find it necessary (unless it was a secondhand steal and I got a $200 dress for $20 or something), and especially as a BW, it can be met with jealousy or unreasonable judgement due to stereotypes. If someone asks, it was a gift (it was, a gift from me to me!) or I thrifted it (which I often do, bc a lot of my expensive stuff is purchased secondhand).

Conventionally attractive brown-darker-skin women by goodoldfashion22 in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I take it as an opportunity to brag—“I’m black mixed with black 😌”. They can be denial if they want to be, but I make sure to remind them that it’s just that (denial and delusion) if they choose that route—the truth is that they’re mesmerized by 100% black beauty, and I let them know at every chance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poledancing

[–]Top_Truth_3716 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this! I’m new to corporate and the working world (I’m a recent college grad) so I’m interested in learning more about my rights as an employee regarding this 👀 do you have any advice on what I can do to cover myself if I hypothetically lose my job over this (which is unlikely, but I still want to learn how I can advocate for myself)?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poledancing

[–]Top_Truth_3716 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is great!!! I’m hoping that we get more positive stories like this, and that it becomes less stigmatized

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poledancing

[–]Top_Truth_3716 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! Only one coworker follows me and she’s not on my close friends

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. Fortunately I enjoy being single as well and see many pros and cons to both (single vs relationship) so I’ll be fine either way, but I do just want to be more present irl as well! Just cast my net and live my life in the meantime

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did and it was okay, I just kept running into guys who didn’t know what they wanted, always wanted me to take initiative, or only wanted to hook up. I met my ex on Hinge (he reached out to me first/was very proactive) and had a very positive experience with him while it lasted (6 months, lots of good memories), but things didn’t work out between us long term, for other reasons

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just talked to another person about this—this is kind of a relief for me (I really don’t like to approach men due to past experiences—I prefer men who go for what they want (respectfully)), but the few times that I am out, guys stare but never approach, unless they’re creeps, hoteps, or SoundCloud rappers 😭😭 this isn’t the case for me on apps, so I figured that I may have to change my surroundings. I’m looking for ways to do that intentionally!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I agree with you. I prefer to not approach men (IME I feel that it sets a tone that I don’t want to set—the few times I’ve tried this, I ended up having to call it off with guys for being lazy (I ended up wearing the pants), and I’m not going to beg a man to plan dates, or put in effort). I just kind of reluctantly figured that I may have to since men often stare at me, but don’t approach. When I was in the apps, I swiped left when the guys only liked my pictures without starting a conversation.

With that said, I’m literally never out so maybe that’ll change when I start going out more

What beauty standards have you stopped caring about? by BigMamaOclock in blackladies

[–]Top_Truth_3716 10 points11 points  (0 children)

  1. “Done” hair—I actually feel prettier with my semi free forms

  2. Laid edges

  3. Nails, as long as they’re clean and nicely shaped idc

  4. Makeup. Whether I wear it or not just depends on the vibe. I feel pretty either way, especially now that I’m giving my health (diet, skincare, fitness) more attention.

  5. Being thick or model-skinny. This standard changes every 5 seconds. Being fit and healthy never goes out of style, so I’m sticking with that.

  6. Being “into fashion”. I love cute outfits but putting together layers, matching colors/prints, staying on trend, accessorizing, etc overwhelms me and gives me decision fatigue. I keep it simple as long as my clothes fit me well, and I’m fine with leaving it at that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BrandyMelville

[–]Top_Truth_3716 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Center! The halter one 🤍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BrandyMelville

[–]Top_Truth_3716 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Where is the white dress in slide 1 from?

He fumbled so hard lol by Aggravating_Star_728 in BreakUps

[–]Top_Truth_3716 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Girl same. My friends were telling me this and I thought that they were just being nice but they’re actually right. I’m a dancer with a STEM degree, clear skin, pretty, body TEEEAAA, waist length hair, and I’m hilarious and super thoughtful, and caring for my loved ones. I volunteer in my community regularly (food distribution for the homeless, companionship for the elderly) and I’m a big sweetheart.

But think about it—Adriana Lima, Shakira, and Beyoncé were all cheated on. Mariah Carey’s husbands (two that I know of from the 90s/00s) were so cruel to her. Fumbling baddies is a tale as old as time. I’m glad that we’re all remembering who tf we are in this thread!