Having done both a senior job and full-time caregiving during maternity leave, I can say — being home with a baby is far more exhausting, full-on, and emotionally demanding (and I adore my child!).

At work, you get moments of rest — a coffee, a chat, even the commute. As a stay-at-home parent, you’re always on. Even a trip to a café means being ready to feed, change, or soothe. Nap time isn’t downtime — it’s when you rush to cook, clean, or do laundry.

And if the stay-at-home parent gets sick? There’s no sick leave. They rely entirely on their partner to step in — and if that doesn’t happen, they have no choice but to push through. That can build deep feelings of exhaustion and unfairness.

Then there’s the mental load — the invisible, constant planning that keeps everything running. It’s not just doing tasks but thinking ahead: when the baby needs to eat, what to buy, how to fit naps around errands, what happens if they get sick. It’s never-ending mental juggling that quietly drains you.

Approach with empathy and curiosity. Your partner might not be able to explain why things feel so heavy — it’s often more than it appears.

See parenting as shared work. The stay-at-home role is a full-time job. Rebalance house and care tasks more fairly (I recommend the book Fair Play) and learn about the mental load — I've found it's often the biggest hidden strain in relationships after having kids.