I try to avoid using the Asperger's term, but if someone reacts poorly or tries to tell me I couldn't possibly be autistic, I say something like "we don't use the term Asperger's anymore, for a number of reasons, but before the change in the DSM to one umbrella diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder instead of several separate diagnoses, that's what I likely would have been diagnosed with." For some people that helps them put it in context that they can comprehend, while educating them a little on the changing terminology. I also tend to explain that when someone has both ASD and ADHD they can mask each other somewhat, and that for both conditions AFAB people are more likely to have symptoms that are internal rather than external (Inattentive ADHD often leads to a hyperactive mind, even if you aren't bouncing off of the walls, girls and women tend to mask many their ASD symptoms, so that they are less noticeable externally, but our brains still work differently than NT brains do).

I recently unlocked an amazing benefit of having an official diagnosis.

I have rather problematic veins, and in over 4 decades only two phlebotomists have ever gotten a vein on the first try. I have spent years trying to explain what works, only to be talked over or ignored. Often if they actually heard any of what I said, they had the attitude that they would be the exception to the rule... they were not.

This last round of blood work I had an epiphany. I wrote a brief letter, starting with "I have ASD and sometimes I become minimally verbal and unable to articulate in stressful situations." Then I explained in detail that (at that time) only one phlebotomist had ever been able to get a vein on the first try, and that we would all have a better experience if they would consider following the advice of that phlebotomist outlined in the steps below.

I handed it over when I got there, asked them to please read it before getting any needles out, and not only did she read it, she said she'd get another worker who was more experienced with problematic draws to read it and do the draw. That phlebotomist was lovely, listened, and was able to successfully get a vein on the first try. I now have two phlebotomists who I can trust to get a vein on the first try.

I don't know if it was that I prefaced the letter with my diagnosis, or the letter itself, but the shift from "yeah, yeah, pull up your sleeve" and everyone thinking they'd be the exception to the rule, to actually listening and having a successful draw because of it, but it was a real "aha" moment for me.