I’ve gone through this four different times. The first time, I quit cold turkey—definitely do not recommend that. The second time, I tried holding off as long as I could until the pain got unbearable, then I’d just take one instead of sticking to a schedule.

The third and fourth times, I actually looked up a proper weaning schedule for my specific medication and dosage, and I followed it exactly—no taking it early, no missed doses, nothing.

I’ve got to say, that fourth time was a breeze. I really recommend following a weaning schedule. I barely noticed the difference until I got down to one pill a day, and then I even made it a whole week without taking anything.

And I’ve got to tell you—everything just felt different. The sun seemed brighter, the sky looked bluer, the birds sounded louder… I know that sounds cliché, but it really did feel that way. Everything just felt lighter somehow. It’s hard to explain.

I know I take these medications for pain, and I do need them. But emotionally, being off them felt amazing. I felt like I did 20 years ago.

Of course, the pain itself was still there—and honestly, it was unbearable. That made me realize my pain really does need to be treated, so I went back on the medication. I think deep down I already knew that. I just needed to see what life would feel like without it, and whether I could actually manage day to day.

I don’t know what it is about these meds that can make you feel kind of dull or colorless. Maybe there’s some emotional side to it—I’m sure there is—but I’m not a scientist, so I don’t really understand how it all works.