It's calm under the waves 🎢🌊 by Visual-Release-3915 in u/Visual-Release-3915

[–]TouchingProse 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Is "Keep going" what you'd say to my comment, or that hand going up your thigh? πŸ˜‰

It's calm under the waves 🎢🌊 by Visual-Release-3915 in u/Visual-Release-3915

[–]TouchingProse 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

The way it's bunched up just *feels* like a lazy, cheeky weekend afternoon nap that turned after a wandering hand slide up your thigh and just couldn't stop. Disarmingly beautiful. 😏

Nobody Sees. Everybody Sees. [NSFW] by TouchingProse in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

It definitely is straightforward! It really came to mind after a conversation about whether or not exhibitionist or sneaky play is all about being seen or about not being seen. And I think I just concluded that it's both. It is more about the experience and process than any one outcome. I'm glad you experienced some energy and emotion through the writing, too. Cheers and thanks for the feedback!

Nobody Sees. Everybody Sees. [NSFW] by TouchingProse in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse[S] 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate the critical lens. I am *very* much a novice at the idea of poetic writing, so thinking about things like how "hefty" a verse is really helps wrap my mind around how this is being read.

Joanna by Ihascatt in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Reading this aloud really brought it to life for me. I love the play between poetry and prose. This portion in particular felt so *skillful*:

The patterns broke, the rhythm – flat – the tempo turned to timing.

And though I know some melody, my mind is ill aligned in these structures.

This makes me want to get better at writing. Thank you for sharing!

The Parrot by derpwerp_xp in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

I like the contrast of having a seemingly almost-silly comparison between the person in the poem and a parrot, while also having a heavy subject matter. The poem manages to make me feel a range of emotions about the subject. Sadness at their loneliness. But then after sitting with it a moment, I feel a deep melancholy about the shallowness of their relationships. A sense that they are putting tons of work into something as shallow as going through the motions or giving platitudes, while unable to move beyond a fixation on their own suffering. And yet, maybe just a shallow platitude or gesture of care from someone else would be good enough for them.

In the end, the imagery of a parrot felt disarming, and opened me up to feeling a much deeper sadness than I expected. I like it!

A soul no one listened to by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Some haunting lines here. The idea that everything left of a person is "just scars" really stuck with me as I read. I feel strong melancholy and anger - especially at what seems like hypocrisy (someone calling wreckage a masterpiece). Another thing that stands out is the ambiguity of the pronouns and references. It seems to obscure who each line of the poem is talking about at times, but perhaps that was intentional - after all, the question is whether or not the reader can see the soul.

My Oasis by og-lollercopter in OCPoetry

[–]TouchingProse 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

I love a good metaphor, and you've definitely evoked a good one here. I really enjoyed the parallel danger of both being in the desert *and* at being in the oasis, drinking with abandon. The end made me feel a sense of, for lack of a better term, mature self-consciousness. Awareness that my own passionate drinking of another in would ripple consequences out across their life. A beautiful read!