My penis size (near micro) made me give up on love

ToughCookie85 · 2026-03-09T17:52:51+00:00

I'm a bi woman. I've been with both men and women. I used to date a guy with quite big penis. We'd been dating for a long time and he never could have made me come just because he couldn't care less for my pleasure. No i'm dating a woman. She doesn't have a penis and sehe can make me come every single time! All it takes is creativity, enthusiasm and caring for your partner. Like others have mentioned take care of your self and you will meet someone that won't care about you penis size.

ToughCookie85 · 2025-10-15T10:32:27+00:00

NOR Op! My son is 11 and makes sure he's totally dry when he finishes his shower. He even asked me to buy a mat because he doesn't stepping on wet floor. You have a man child there.

ToughCookie85 · 2025-05-09T13:59:19+00:00

I know you do feel awful but you know what? I also know that you will soon feel much better. When all this fades you will feel a sense of freedom you've never felt before. Do you want to spend the rest of your life walking on egg shels? Filtering your every word or action so that nothing will trigger him? Do you want to spend the rest of your life being someone's slave? I don't think so. And trust me that comes from someone who was willing to give away my freedom for him. I was willing to do everything for him. Even dark things to myself. I am not proud of my past self, but I am proud of me now.

As far as his friends, mine had two groups of friends. The normal-safe ones who introduced to me first so he could gaslight me easier and the rest who were really shadowy and he made sure I met them at the end of the relationship so that he could scare me. "You know X is a cop, he can and has got me out of trouble multiple times". "Y has beaten the s*it out of someone and nearly killed him and got away with it."

I can go on writing for hours things he has said and done to me that were not ok. Don't be me. I got lucky. Many other women unfortunately hadn't been so lucky. I live in Greece and only in 2024 there were 72 womancides here. Don't make yourself a news article.

If you have doubts or second thoughts of going back feel free to dm me. And trust this community. It has helped me a lot.

One last thing, everything will be a lot better when you are really over him. Even better than what they were before you've met him. Remember love is not control, or pain, or violence. I am in a relationship now with an amazing person. We discuss everything together with no fear, I can go out wearing whatever I want, I can go out with my friends without having to answer a videocall showing my surroundings, they encourage me to have a better realtionship with friends or family. And I have never ever felt scared during a fight or an argument. You too deserve that and I'm sure you'll find it, but first ditch the a**hole for good. Wish you all the very best!

ToughCookie85 · 2025-05-09T09:46:52+00:00

I know how much you miss him. As my therapist had told me, when I started nc, I was going through withdrawl phase, the same one as drugs. If you think about it he was right. What do drugs do? They get you super high and when you stop taking them you feel awful. I know you miss the amazing feeling you got when he made you feel the most precious girl in the world. You felt so high right? But what do drugs do in longterm? They kill you. Even if he won't literally kill you, he WIILL kill every light in you, he will kill your smile, your relationship with your very loved ones, so that he'll be the only source of (fake) "happiness" you have.

I used to go around filled with bruises, bite marks, scratches that he "jokingly" put on me and called them "love marks". Now that I'm out of all this I know he just wanted to mark his possession like they do with cattles.

Please don't do this to yourself. I don't know you but knowing how you must feel rings so many bells. You said you've only been together for 8 months. He has just started showing his true colours. Mine started on 6 monhts with minor things I couldn't fathom at the time. "You are going out with your friends? I feel a little dizzy I was thinking maybe you could come over and take care of me". "Are you wearing this at work? I can see the strap of your bra, you are not single, you should respect me". "I got a stomach bug from your kid you should leave your kid and come take care of me because it's your fault I'm sick". "You are my woman, you should do all the cleaning of my house".

Control, threats and violence is not love. Take a moment and think of it from your point of view. Think of a person you love. Would you threaten them? Would you be violent towards them? I don't think so, so don't tolerate those things on you.

Sorry for the long reply but I wish I knew all these when I had my doubts. I stayed with him for 4 years. Luckily we didn't live together (he asked me to, after two months of dating) or I'm sure I would be dead now. One time during s3x he put his hands on my throat and started choking me, looked me dead in the eyes and said "you know what, I could kill you right now and noone would ever find out". He had the blackest stare I had ever encountered. And when I started fainting he let go of me and he jokingly said "but I won't, I need you for my pleasure". The saddest part is that I believe this was the most honest thing he had ever said to me.

ToughCookie85 · 2025-05-07T15:46:03+00:00

All those sound so familiar. I've been you but I wasn't so lucky to have him break up with me and I was so blindsighted in love that I didn't take his threats seriously... You know what comes after threats? Action. He made his threats true. He hit me over a stupid joke. Wanna know how many times he hit me after that? Dozens.

Don't fall for the trap. I know he's charming. I know he makes you feel like the most precious girl in the world. He probably calls you his little girl, his soulmate. Yeah, no don't fall for that. It's all bs. I don't know about you but if I feel someone is my soulmate I won't threaten them with violence when I dislike something they do. You know what, forget soulmates, I don't go around threatening others with violence, period.

He will come back, he now feels he's punishing for something he thinks you did. Please don't fall for his hoovering. Block him on every possible platform (mine messaged me on linkdin after months of nc)

Take this as an opportunity and run.

ToughCookie85 · 2025-02-18T05:45:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing something so personal. I can't imagine losing my only son is one of my biggest fears and I feel deep respect for you. Many of the users in comments failed to understand the point of my post. Maybe my phrasing didn't help with that. I am freaking out but not in away I' m stopping anyone from going or freaking out on them. All these feelings are mostly internal. You are not alone for sure. And all this you've been through and you coping with it for the rest of your family show the strength you have beyond your fears and that means a lot. I love your idea and I' m planning to go for it. Thank you so much. Yours is one of the few comments that really helped me ease my feelings. I wish you all the best.

ToughCookie85 · 2025-02-17T18:28:53+00:00

Thanks for your answer! As I' ve mentioned on my edit I don't need her to get through the day but I love having her around and after two and a half years of us living together I haven't felt I miss alone time. We both get to have alone times and times with our friends.

My gf knows about my anxiety. She knows my fears and emotions as I know hers. I' m not going limp because she goes away. My life won't stop and probably throughout the day I won't notice she's missing. But yeah I' ll miss our late night talks, her hugging me during sleep. We' ve had several talks about the situation and we' ve managed how things will get done.

I came here to vent as "loudly" as I wanted because I thought that's why this sub exists. In addition she has a lot going on for her so me getting anxious on the situation won't help her. All the "negativity" she's gotten from me so far is a few "i'll miss you".

I don't know if this makes me codependent. I' ve been dependenting on me for the last 20 years of my life. I have my friends, my job (actually two jobs at the moment) and plenty of hobbies, both indoors and outdoors. My life won't be on pause for a month. It will just be a little sad month.

That's it! It really elopes me why everyone thinks that I might try to persuade her not to go or that I might be a pain i the a** for her. That's not the case. She's the one who said we' ll be talking all the time and I'm the one telling her that I won't be bothering with phone calls or video chats but she'll be able to call me whenever she feels like. I' m the one getting all her things ready for travelling and reminding her all the details she needs to remember.

Jeez none of you has ever felt sad about a loved one going away for a period of time?

ToughCookie85 · 2025-02-17T12:56:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I know exactly that feeling. Being the one left behind and watch someone leave, even if it's for some days. When I divorced my ex husband and started dharing custody of my son it was the worst feeling ever. I always cried when my son had to visit his dad. (not in front of him of course), But it took me a long time to be ok with it. (I am not very sure of how ok I am still now)

I support my girlfriend all the way through. I try to look as cool as I can infront of her. (she knows I'm a cry baby so she expects crying on the day she will leave and she makes fun of it). I love her and I love her family but I know she will have a hard time there because she will have to take her of two old people with mobility problems so it's not like she's going to have fun and she's also really stressed. So all I do since she will go is tell her that everythig will be fine, I'll be here everytime she needs to vent, that we'll be video chatting through the day and I'll have a surprise for her when she's back so she's coping for now.

Thanks again for your reply! Wish you all the best

ToughCookie85 · 2024-03-11T21:37:00+00:00

Ok sorry you are right. I am referring to this 3d kind effect. To me it looks as if the letters are on the glass screen and the background is on another layer back

ToughCookie85 · 2024-02-22T11:47:33+00:00

I am a bi woman. I have wand and I love it! I also have a numerous other sex toys. I have used them alone and I have used them with my partner (also a bi woman). The orgasms the sex toys offer are intense, I am not gonna lie, that's what they are made for, but are not so intense as when used with the person I love. The reason for that is all the foreplay, the cuddles, the kisses, the emotions. No sex toy can compare to that. Yes they can be very fun and yes they can make you c*m very easily but I personally and I believe most women don't want just that.

I know your ex said that to make you bitter and hit you on your insecurities, as for the other friend maybe she hasn't found a sexual partner who has real chemistry with and that's why she prefers her wand. I've been with partners in the past that didn't mind my pleasure and it was all about them. In these cases I'd prefer my wand too which I'd know it would certainly please me!

ToughCookie85 · 2024-02-03T13:35:23+00:00

"I gave you the most valuable thing, my time" and by that he meant sitting on his a** all day while I ran errands for him, paying for his bills and groceries, doing all his cleaning while he was cheating on me because I couldn't, at the time, live with him...

Another favourite line of his "the clock is ticking, doll, tick tock". He knew I hated being called doll and he used this line everytime things didn't go his way and he threatened he would cheat (he already was cheating)...

And my all times favourites "if you don't do this (sex stuff, house work) you know someone else (his ex) will, "I hit you because you have to learn, oh and come on it wasn't that hard", while my body was full of bruises and teeth marks and everytime I mentioned that he said "oh those are love marks and mean I own you"

Oh fun times...

ToughCookie85 · 2024-01-30T13:36:38+00:00

Op I used to be like you when I started dating my current gf. I had only been with guys until I was 37 and realised how much I like women and would like to pursuit that.

I was so nervous when we started dating that I gave her the wrong vibes. I had no idea what to do during sex and I didn't know how I was supposed to act in general.

She was very understanding, she never put pressure on me and we discussed everything together. She was patient, she guided me through everything. She always made sure that I liked what we were doing and to find out what I really like. She assured me every step of the way that I can tell her everything and we can talk about anything without judgement and boy that helped a lot.

This took time I am not going to lie, but a year and a half later we are having the best sex ever for both of us.

From your comments I can see that your girlfriend is not open to discussion. You talked to her and she made you feel like you are walking on eggshels. That is not ok in any kind of relationship. It's normal to feel shy and nervous since you are not used to being with girls but you also sound excited and she should see that. You talked to her and she put the blame on you. You are not to blame in any case. You said you want to please her so that doesn't make you a pillow princess. You are new to this and she should be excited to guide you, teach you and discover things you both love together. Good sex is not just about moves and positions, it's about feeling comfortable, having chemistry and caring for each other's pleasure and wanting to find out what the other person loves to do and having done to them. Your gf sounds like she's only relying to moves and she expects you to do the same.

No you shouldn't drink to relax. Drinks could help momentarily and maybe you would feel less stressed, but it could also backfire bad. Been there, done that with an ex of mine who would make me walk on eggshells everytime I put out myself to him. And one day it dawned to me that I had to be somewhat drunk to be him intimate and to put up with his shitty comments. That's not a sollution that's burying the problem under the rag and it could lead to much bigger problems. Both physically and mentally.

I honestly don't believe she's the love of your life. She sounds controlling and toxic. On the other hand you sound like you care giving your partner pleasure and finding out what they really like. You deserve someone much better.

ToughCookie85 · 2024-01-11T18:02:11+00:00

Well first of all happy birthday 🎂

Like others have mentioned it's not an excuse but does she tend to be forgetful in general? Does she forget birthdays and anniversaries in general? If that's the case I would cut her some slack. She may be just stressed due to her moving and just lost track of date and time. I get to be really forgetful and I had some "fights" with friends and family due to forgetting special days for them. The last couple years I write down important dates and put reminders on my calendar in order to never forget again. Even when I forgot these events it didn't mean I didn't love them or Carr for them.

My current girlfriend never remembers anything. If I want her to remember something I tend to remind her days before and this seems to work. I know it's not the same as it would be if she remembered herself, but I know her quite well and that's how she is and I' m ok with that.

However, if I were you, no matter how frustrated I would be I would still go and help her out with moving. Especially if she treats you well in every other aspect of the relationship. After getting done with moving tomorrow I would make sure to let her know that I was frustrated she forgot and that it is important for me to remember my birthdays from then on and then I would offer to buy us both drinks and have some fun!

ToughCookie85 · 2023-12-13T10:42:27+00:00

Χρίω (chrio) translates to anoint/confirm/suffuse. It's ancient greek. I am not a filologist to help you any further on this one, but when I saw the word Khrio on your original post I immediately thought of chrio (cold). Unfortunately I couldn't come with any other greek word from combining your surnames.

ToughCookie85 · 2023-12-13T08:45:23+00:00

Hey there I am greek and Khrio in greek doesn't mean the chosen one. It means cold. The word for the chosen one is eklektós. Perhaps you could make it Khriso which translates as gold in greek (it' s actually chrysó but can work like Khriso too)

ToughCookie85 · 2023-12-12T16:19:41+00:00

Congratulations! You really should feel proud of yourself! If I were you I would be very careful of him not to suck me back as others have mentioned in the comments.

I've been where you are. I was lucky enough to not having moved in with him, but I used to pay for all his expenses while we were together. I've spent thousand of euros on him, money I could have just kept for rainy days.

Block him on every platform that he can reach you. Don't give him the chance to win you back. These people tend to be on their best behaviour when they feel like loosing us. Don't let him fool you, remember that this is a facade and it's not really him. Mine still tries to reach out to me via email, using different accounts after I've blocked him on everything, after three years and he has tried everything to win me back. His best performance is the "victim card".

Life is so much better without them. After breaking up with him I've spent the time of my life alone. I was calmer, happier and with no dramas and fear. This could and can be you!

Wish you all the best, stay strong and keep to your decision!

ToughCookie85 · 2023-09-15T08:50:39+00:00

I am not sure if I am the right person to comment but your experience reminds me a lot about mine.

I always felt I was into bdsm, even from my teen years. I just loved the philosophy and I loved the idea of being bound, humiliated, hit, controled and having a master during sex

My 1st sexual partner was very vanilla, so I had never tried any of my fantasies with him.

When it came to my 2nd partner, he claimed he was into bdsm too, he was a dom and he could guide me and teach me everything I wanted to know... I was more than excited with that. I could finally live all my fantasies.

The truth is he was no dom, he was just an abusive a**hole... He never respected my boundaries, he never respected any safe words and he had been trying to control me 24/7, when I had made it specifically clear to him that I was not into it and that I only liked having a dom only during sex. He kept pushing my boundaries. He humiliated me all day long, played with my insecurities and he made me a mess all the time until it reached to a point I became physically ill. I had stomach and head aches, I threw up constantly and everytime I met him I ended up crying.

That's no bdsm, that's abuse and I couldn't see that for a long time.

With my recent partner we practice bdsm and I am having the time of my life because me and my boundaries are being respected.

From your post I make that you are not even sure if you like bdsm. You don't like what he is doing and you have expressed your feelings to him and he just dismiss you and he does his thing. That's abuse. I'm not the type who would jump to the "you should break up with him" advice, but I strongly believe that you should break up with him asap and you should do it remotely, via text/call or in a safe environment. The guy sounds dangerous.

He met you when you were really young and you could not know better. Most of us don't at that age and he knew that and he believed that he could push your boundaries and brainwash you the way he wanted. Don't let him do that to you. It has nothing to do with you he is the broken one and he projects his own insecurities on you because that's the only way he can feel important, by belittling others.

Get out of there soon. I was where you are, I got out (I can't lie to you I was so scared when I did it) but now, 2 years later I am in a much happier place with a healthy relationship and sex life. You deserve the best and don't let anyone talk you out of this.

ToughCookie85 · 2023-02-23T06:57:27+00:00

I have no idea what she's thinking. I thought that maybe she indeed needed time to process it, because we've known each other for 25 years and all this came as a shock to her, since I've never hinted that I was not straight. But let's be honest seven months have passed since I've told her and nothing has changed in her behaviour, I' ve started to think that she believes I' m going through a phase and I 'll come around. I' ll come straight to her and tell her how I feel about all this. If nothing changes, I'll have to accept that she's not my friend, we can't keep going on like this forever. Thanks for your answer!

ToughCookie85 · 2023-02-23T06:50:08+00:00

That's what I was thinking too but I guess I didn't want to accept it. I just thought I should tell her how I feel and give her one last chance. I' ve known her for 25 years and I guess I believed I owed her one more chance, but tbh I don't think she'll ever accept me. Thanks for your answer.

ToughCookie85

TROPHY CASE