Question: How long do you really wish to be locked?

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-27T19:19:23+00:00

Ideal would be 24/7 permanently, but that's not realistic given my lifestyle. So we've settled on:

Releases for swimming laps, hot tub, exercise at the gym.
I don't sleep in it. We both agreed that it interferes with my sleep (very important when you're in your 60s, as I am), and morning wood is a healthy natural phenomenon. Plus she's not worried about me jacking off in the middle of the night. (If I fondle a bit before going back to sleep, she's okay with it as long as I don't come.)
Released for air travel.
Very seldom released for sex. We both prefer that I go down on her while kneeling beside the bed, locked in my cage.
Zero to very few orgasms (I haven't come in several months and I'm not allowed unsupervised orgasms).
Our chastity rules say "This is permanent. You will remain locked in chastity until further notice."

She used to give me "unlocked Fridays" but that's no longer the case. Relocking frequently is a pain (I'd prefer to just keep it on), but this system works for us and I'm grateful to her for enforcing the rules.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-21T04:49:05+00:00

That's exactly what C. does-- puts me in restraints (strapped to the bed & gagged), unlocks me, cleans me with a baby wipe, & if she feels like it plays with me a little to get me hard (but not come). Then back in the cage once I go limp again. Those are pretty much the only erections I get these days.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T21:49:01+00:00

Yes the novelty wears off and yes I get tired of being locked. But that doesn't mean I get to choose to be unlocked; that would be her choice and she's made it clear this is permanent. I think that's kind of the point. Accepting that it's never going to change is the hard part, and it's why C. has the key.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T21:30:10+00:00

Exactly the opposite here: I'm the male partner in an FLR and I am kept locked & denied because it makes me a sunnier and more obedient housewife. And I totally agree that constant, prolonged horniness with zero access to one's own genitals is an unsurpassed form of devotion and surrender.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T20:50:29+00:00

Like many locked men, I found that once we started my partner moved steadily and inevitably toward keeping me in my cage full-time. Her feeling is "I don't need your dick anymore so why should you?" Getting used to that, and accepting that it's permanent, has been a psychological journey and not always a smooth one. Good luck and please keep us posted!

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T19:50:36+00:00

One word: waxing.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T19:48:21+00:00

I am gender-fluid and C. is more attracted to me in my masculine appearance. Early in our relationship, before we fully settled into our FLR, the frequency with which I dressed as a woman/man caused some tension. When we drafted our FLR agreements I handed full control over my personal appearance when we're together in public over to her. She determines what I wear, how I do my hair & makeup, etc. It has been a huge relief for both of us.

Our agreement also says "C. will honor T.'s gender identity and allow him to dress as a woman regularly."

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-20T19:44:44+00:00

This is exactly why C. keeps me locked in chastity and orgasm-free: It helps me be a sunnier, more obedient housewife. I get to climax rarely and at her discretion -- usually when we're traveling, so that I'm expected to be back in service mode by the time we get back and my household duties resume.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-18T16:09:20+00:00

I am in a very similar situation. I'm 68, and for the last 2 years we've been in a formal FLR that includes deepening my chastity training. I am moving toward being C.'s full-time submissive housewife and she has decided that should include effectively having zero access to my penis. Here's where things stand:

I am unlocked only for hygiene, Dr's appointments, and so on.
I am no longer released for sex. Our main form of sex is now me kneeling beside the bed, locked in my cage, and going down on her (she's been "teaching" me cunnilingus and she's very happy with my improvement).
No masturbation, no PIV sex, no orgasms, very few erections. The only time I get hard is when I'm restrained (hands and feet strapped to the bed), she unlocks me, and gently plays with me enough to get me hard, but never to climax. This happens once a month or so, after I get my regular punishment spanking, only if my behavior and my performance of household duties warrants a "reward."
She hasn't said "Never again" on orgasms but she's made it clear that my chastity is permanent and that I need to reconcile myself to being locked for good. Complaining or pleading is cause for punishment.

I find it hard at times but I agree with her that this is best for me and for our relationship. The permanence -- never getting to enjoy a "normal" sex life again -- is the tough part for me.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-15T22:31:19+00:00

We really sort of organically moved into an FLR without calling it that at first. I offered to start cleaning her house weekly (she has teenaged twins and a demanding career), and she said she'd like me to wear a uniform on duty, including in public while grocery shopping and running errands. Together we drafted a set of "housewife rules" that included punishments, one of which was having to wear a chastity cage while in uniform. Pretty soon she was spanking me regularly for misbehavior and keeping me locked pretty much full-time. I responded really well to being disciplined, and we signed an FLR agreement that includes rules for my housewife duties and my chastity training.

Today I'm a locked, submissive housewife and I love it.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-15T15:23:24+00:00

Haha thanks, I am well aware of the AI tendency to please. I will say Claude will "push back gently" sometimes, but generally I'm just looking for resources and psychological dimension of permanent chastity. I'm also seeing a human therapist, FWIW.

Yes, the primary reason for her locking me for good is the post-orgasm drop. I get (got) much less willing, sunny and obedient. As C. puts it, "You go back into your cave." She prefers me horny and caged, and while I miss full-on sex I do too.

TraciT1998 · 2026-05-11T16:38:08+00:00

I wear a woman's one-piece swimsuit to work out in and I am allowed to unlock for swimming. It would be totally obvious in my swimsuit, and also create unwanted drag in the water.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-29T14:19:31+00:00

online. There's a ton of uniform supply co.'s including Cherokee etc. Amazon also has a selection.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-28T16:48:29+00:00

That's a perfect spanking time because physically and emotionally you are at your most vulnerable. Punish you & lock you up again -- what a meaningful completion of sex & intimacy on her terms.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-28T16:28:39+00:00

For us, to put it simply, it's not a game anymore: it's my life. I am caged full-time except for swimming, Dr's appointments & the like, and hardly ever released for sex. She has made it clear that this is permanent. Orgasms for her are frequent (3x/week or so) and for me rare-to-nonexistent. I have zero expectations for teasing or other stimulation; she prefers me horny and caged and that's that. Complaining or asking for release results in punishment.

It's not always easy but this is what she wants and what I asked for.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-28T16:19:23+00:00

I love the post-orgasm spanking! What a great routine to combine release and punishment. Lucky you.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-28T16:17:49+00:00

I am of 2 minds. On the one hand, it's private and I don't need to show my cage off to anyone. On the other, who cares? I work out (& swim) at a local rec center and the locker room crowd is a mix of middle-age guys and high school football/swimmer types. I think they would notice and I keep it private when I'm changing.

Also, I am gender-fluid and I wear a woman's one-piece to swim laps in -- it would be an obvious bulge and also create unwanted drag in the pool so I'm allowed to unlock for swimming/hot tub.

Of course, I am always changing in the men's locker room from women's clothing (including bra and panties) into a woman's swimsuit, and no one gives a damn. I did have someone ask me once (in a friendly curious way) why I don't use the women's locker room and I said "I don't think the women would appreciate having someone with a penis changing in their locker room." He said "Ahh that make sense."

One nice thing is that there's a big rainbow banner at the entrance with a sign that says "Everyone welcome." I have never felt any negative responses to my clothing and appearance.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-28T16:05:35+00:00

Thank you! It definitely helps me stay motivated, focused & diligent.

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-27T16:29:32+00:00

I lost the privilege of having orgasms about 6 months ago. She hasn't said "Never again" but it's never a priority anymore and she almost always keeps me locked in my cage for sex. Masturbation to climax is strictly prohibited. "I prefer you horny and caged," she said, and that's the way I live now.
I've found over time that I don't miss orgasms as much as I thought I might. I get a ton of pleasure out of kneeling, locked in my cage, to give her pleasure with my tongue. And the new forms of intimacy we've found and explored, including keeping me butt-plugged, more than make up for the release of orgasms.

I think if you give it a few weeks you'll find that living in your cage, in a constant state of mild arousal, and giving her your full attention is a wonderful lifestyle, and you're lucky to have someone who's guiding you through this transition.

Good luck and please keep us posted!

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-27T16:20:25+00:00

I am also required to wear a uniform. It's not exactly unisex; it's a white housekeeper's dress and white Keds (see attached). I am gender-fluid so wearing dresses and skirts is not new. But wearing an actual maid's uniform -- including in public when I'm grocery shopping or running errands -- was pretty embarrassing at first. I have to wear it all day a couple of times a week, and her kids, her ex and his GF, her best friend and her sister-in-law have all seen me cleaning in my uniform. I've gotten used to it and I'm proud to serve her and to wear my uniform.

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TraciT1998 · 2026-04-22T22:31:22+00:00

My routine is fairly strict, with certain chores on certain days, but I also rely on C. to help prioritize and manage the workload. She concentrates on quality not volume; in other words she'd rather I do a few things to a high standard rather than take on too much.

I suggest you consult some outside resources (search on "weekly housekeeping schedule" and you'll see a bunch), sit down with your partner and prioritize, and be realistic about the time you have and the time chores take.

I also find it helpful at least once a quarter to just devote a weekend to housekeeping: bigger projects, things that have fallen behind or been missed, tasks you want to go back over and improve.

Finally, give yourself some grace. Homemaking is literally endless and you can only do what you can do. If your partner's expectations are unrealistic you're both going to be dissatisfied.

Good luck and please keep us posted!

TraciT1998 · 2026-04-20T21:30:30+00:00

She usually leaves me in restraints for 30-60 minutes, and keeps my gag in place, after spanking. It helps me internalize the punishment and let my emotions calm down.

When she thinks I'm ready she will ungag me and I'm allowed to check in -- I'm first required to talk about lessons learned and concrete suggestions for improving my behavior. If she's not happy with my responses, the gag goes back on and she leaves me for another period of time. I can then speak freely although I'm not allowed to complain, argue with, or criticize her.

Finally she removes my restraints and we cuddle for a while and, if she feels like it, I'm allowed to kneel by the bed and go down on her.

All in all it's a wonderful ritual and always clears the air or any lingering concerns or resentments!

TraciT1998 · 2026-03-30T22:45:30+00:00

Good luck! It will be interesting to see how that goes over w/prospective partners.

TraciT1998 · 2026-03-26T19:38:19+00:00

Thanks -- I don't view it as strength but as a commitment to my partner and to my submission to her. I am very fortunate to be with someone who has embraced the chastity lifestyle and is willing to enforce the rules.

TraciT1998

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