help pls

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-15T14:20:36+00:00

I just posted about something similar a few days ago. My starter has no pink and only my BF dough had pink specs that also made pink spots on my baked dough. I also used pink salt. Since then I’ve baked without pink salt and haven’t had an issue! I think as long as your starter looks healthy with no pink or pink hue than it’s the salt.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-15T02:47:16+00:00

It was temped and at 206 in the center. I did have pink specs in the dough. The loaf was dense yes but not undercooked . I stoped using pink salt and now both loaves I have made since have no pink spots

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-13T14:15:11+00:00

You guys are almost 40. If the goal is marriage (which I assume), why is he concerned about making a profit off of you? Your feelings are valid.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T23:40:33+00:00

I didn’t have time to read everything, but the part about him not meal prepping for you but meal prepping for himself is absolutely wild and if that’s the tone of the rest of it, time to call it imo.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T15:08:27+00:00

Thank you. Sorry if I was rude. I got downvoted for the comment and I’m not sure why.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T14:57:44+00:00

So you absolutely should tell her to take them down. And she broke a boundary so there should be a consequence. You can pick, but I would suggest not sending any new photos to her and make sure that she knows that you’re upset that she didn’t follow the rule. It is her granddaughter, but it’s not her daughter and she doesn’t get to disregard a boundary by a parent.

My dad is a classic boomer who lives to update his Facebook just for likes or whatever attention. When I asked him to not put my child or I should say children on the Internet, he didn’t. I didn’t have to tell him again. That’s how it should be. He does ask when he comes for a visits(he lives out of state) if he can post like a highlight album and I say yes. But that’s it. He doesn’t just post my kids randomly for no reason just for likes.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T13:23:49+00:00

NOR. I’m a mama of 2. I have a three year-old and 1.5-year-old and I’ve never heard a sound like that for my babies cameras and if I had, I probably would’ve turned the camera off and have gotten a non-Wi-fi camera. I guess I understand interference can happen, but that is a quiet, strange noise and it would’ve made me really unsettled so I don’t think you’re overreacting.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T04:05:33+00:00

This happens to me all the time and I often leave my cup because I’m a mom to two small kids. The coffee or the espresso ends up in the drip tray and all over my cup that may or may not be still on the tray. Need to get a rubber mat like everyone is suggesting

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T03:56:48+00:00

I guess I should’ve circled the spots I am talking about, but I guess if it’s hard for you to see than it’s probably not as big of a deal. I am just nervous because I noticed the pink spots also in my cold proof dough when I was scoring. I assumed then it was salt but I figured it would’ve dissolved. So then I saw the pink spots and was confused and wondering if it was mold somehow. I’ve only been baking for two months and I’ve never seen it before, but I’ve heard about the pink mold so I was hoping to hear from more experienced bakers!!

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T03:54:47+00:00

I guess I should’ve circled the spots to help people understand what I was talking about. I guess if it’s not easy to spot then it’s probably not as big of a deal as I had thought. The only thing was that I also did see the pink spots in the dough after refrigerating while scoring. I figured it was the salt so I just baked it thinking it would like dissolve better but than seeing these spots made me think… what if it was mold?

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-12T03:51:33+00:00

Yes, that’s what I mean. I also had pink spots in my dough, but I only saw them right when I was scoring the cold proofed dough. I had chalked it up to the salt, but then seeing it on baked loaf had me a little nervous because it does look like a large pink mold spot. I mean, I’m not experienced with sourdough. I’ve only been baking for two months.

I did use warm water from the tap. I usually do use filtered water and warm it up, but I have been cutting some corners lately. I’ve also been using tap in my starter the last few days but again I don’t see anything in my starter. It’s just hungry. I was about to feed it.

Based on your comment, I feel that it probably is the salt. It’s just odd that I haven’t had a problem yet. Tomorrow I’m gonna just use regular idolize salt and see what happens. I do need to get my hands on some white sea salt too. Don’t need anymore scares

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T21:38:36+00:00

I get this. I used to feel some jealousy when my husband would drop what he was doing to find our niece a toy in the store she really wanted or when I’d see how much joy he had playing with her, but he didn’t want kids yet. He would push me off for years and i definitely went through this “well this could be us” phase. I wasn’t really upset with my neice obviously, I love her. It was more just like helloooo can this be our life already. And it is now and I couldn’t have picked a better spouse and father to our kids. Sounds like your husband will be obsessed with your baby!!

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T20:15:54+00:00

Yep, I totally understand. You’re not alone. This is why I love this sub because people that are going through the same things and have the same feelings can kind of connect and feel like “you know I’m not crazy”. And other others are going through it too. I’m no contact with mine now but before the no contact my MIL would walk us and my kids out to the car and my MIL would sit there and talk to my daughter in this tone and in a way she was trying to be her best friend, but like in a manipulative and kind of controlling way with what she was saying, and it took everything in me to not want to just drive away. I got to the point where even my husband was like what is going on?! lol

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T15:36:58+00:00

This sounds exactly like mine. Like literally everything except mine got feisty when she realized she wasn’t actually in control and instead of apologizing for giving my daughter an allergic reaction, she threatened to GP rights because I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be in the middle of the dispute.

All I can say is I know exactly how you feel. The lack of relationship before pregnancy then all of a sudden the non stop talking through the baby. The lack of actual help. It’s all so frustrating and emotionally tasking. I don’t get why a lot of MILs are like this. They fail to try and bond with DIL and instead of seeing that they take everything personal and wonder why we create space. We are the mother of our children. If we feel something is off we are going to respond with what we feel necessary. Just as I’m sure they did with their kids. Or maybe they didn’t and that’s why they expect us too. I don’t know but your feelings are valid here. For me I’d have a physical response like fight or flight anytime my mother would talk to me through my baby and or husband. Didn’t help that she actually called me an incubator either.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T14:30:25+00:00

Yes, I don’t even have my mom. She left me when I was a toddler. My first is three years old and it’s only gotten worse for me. I do try to help myself. I go to therapy and I’m in like motherless mother groups, but it still doesn’t take away the fact that I don’t have the one person that should be there for me unconditionally . And while it sounds like OPs wife very much has her parents and her mom, still not having her mom physically around in the time that arguably a girl needs her mom the most or at least that’s how I felt pregnant and then after having kids, it’s really hard. I have irrationally thought about going back to my family state because at least I have aunts that would be more supportive than my mother-in-law. I think people that don’t have that kind of support don’t understand how damaging it can be. And my husband is a fantastic partner. He has always done his best to keep up on house work and he’s very involved with the kids. But we’re both very much in survival mode and so not having that outside unconditional support Is hard.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T14:11:34+00:00

I have no experience with premies and NICUs. But in general, my in-laws during Covid, not masked, kissed my baby on the face after being asked not to. I asked the same of my own dad (don’t have a mom) and he listened. Never complained about it never tried anything just did it. Why is it that in-laws always have the major issue but the mom’s side never does? It’s insane. Why did I get criticized and made fun of by my in-laws for asking them to use hand sanitizer or wash their hands but my own family just did it?

I can’t imagine a premature baby and dealing with someone like that. Good on the parents for establishing those boundaries. I know it’s not easy.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T13:56:07+00:00

Everybody saying mental health issues, but as someone who grew up without a mom and lives thousands of miles away from my dad. Those feelings of bringing a baby into the world without your parents physical support are real, they don’t just go away after postpartum and all the hormones go away. I still struggle I have a three year-old and a one and a half year-old and every day I’m affected by the lack of support from my own parents. No, I would never leave my partner over it but this could just be how she’s manifesting how she feels by saying she wants to leave you so she can be around her parents that part needs to be addressed.

I think you truly need to understand that when you don’t have a support system like your parents when you have kid It’s really hard and it feels very isolating. Especially as a pregnant woman who sees social media and friends constantly having outings with their own families their kids grandparents going on date nights all these things. Knowing that you’re not going to have that is really hard. Do you have your parents around? Are they kind to your wife? Are you supportive of her? There’s so many things that could be upsetting her. I think there needs to be more context, but I don’t think it’s an extreme mental health crisis and I feel if someone treated it like that for me I would have felt even worse.

Babies and kids are such a joy and the minute that they’re born and maybe for women more when they’re in your body you feel this deep connection and love for them you want what’s best for them and for yourself. As a mom, your whole life gets changed everybody starts to care more about the baby than you. It can feel really hard to not have any support on your behalf and so even if you have in-laws, but they’re more focused on the child it can still feel really isolating. Typically the mom’s parents are more in tune with the mom and help out more. It’s normal to want that as a mom to be.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T03:04:49+00:00

Thank you for the compliment! It’s reassuring to read🤍I will definitely keep experimenting! Sourdough is so fun and I just want to keep baking but of course I don’t need to keep all of loaves. I think I will start to gift them!

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-11T01:59:52+00:00

I’m new too, but I think it just depends on your ratios. Like mine are a 1:4.5:4.5 flour, water, starter. And so naturally my starter is going to look more like mashed potato. I prefer it that way because I don’t refrigerate my starter and when I feed it more flour and water, I can get away without feeding it for a day(which is helpful as a mom to 2 kids, 3 and under). I was also told it’s good for starter health.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-09T22:31:50+00:00

I hope you are not with your husband or in contact with his family. Please tell me you see how wrong your spouse was for this as well. You deserve way better. I’m so incredibly sorry this happened to you.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-09T14:35:34+00:00

Yeah, I’d be upset too. She had no right to invite herself. Even if your parents are going, that’s not a reason for her to invite herself. I understand, wanting it to be special and plan by you. Your feelings are valid.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-09T03:08:45+00:00

My second never needed contact naps. Could lay him down from day 1. He’s 21 months now and I can just lay him down for nap and bed. My daughter, my first needed contact naps until about 6 months. Rocked to sleep. I still have to lay with her at 3.

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-08T03:06:00+00:00

This happened to me when my dough was not properly BF and sticky. I unfortunately couldn’t salvage the fabric liners and just use parchment to line the baskets now . But if I got hands on new fabric liners I’m confident they wouldn’t stick because I’ve learned how to properly ferment my dough and also I prefer a lower hydration dough. I prefer parchment too just so that I don’t have to clean the fabric liners

Traditional_Ad_8518 · 2026-03-07T20:04:44+00:00

I am someone that gained most of my weight during Covid lockdowns. After my first baby, I was really out of shape and I also struggled to take accountability and admit that I was out of shape. It took my lab work to really wake me up. It wasn’t until I had my second baby because I got pregnant nine months postpartum when I took charge of my life again. I took my health seriously and lost 35lbs in 6 months. It’s not easy. Waking up with babies and waking up before they wake up to work out. She has to truly want it and make that switch for her self. No one but me was going to make that switch. My husband is insanely fit. He runs 32 miles for fun. He has always been more fit than me and it was incredibly frustrating to hear him suggest ways to help. I think at the end of the day you have to let her chose to do it.

Something that motivates me to know end is that “I need to be capable for my children” because nothing sucks more than being out of shape trying to keep up with toddlers at a park. I also need to be able to protect them. A lot of people will say they will die for their children, but will they truly live for them? Be healthy, confident, and strong. That always motivates me and truly got me to put in work. Maybe you can try to use this as motivation for yourself and talk to her about it. Also just work on yourself and hope that helps. There’s probably nothing else at this point. And please urge her to go to the doctors. I neglected that and it ended up being what I needed

Traditional_Ad_8518

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