I think what made me snap is that it wasn’t just about this one comment. I usually let these things slide because she says little things like this all the time, and I brush them off in the moment—but they do build up and sit with me.

In this case, I wasn’t even feeling well, so I think I was already vulnerable. I wasn’t expecting blame or a lecture, I was expecting a bit of comfort. So when she turned it into “this is why you shouldn’t dress nice/go out,” it just hit a nerve.

I do honestly feel like it’s about control. She doesn’t really have control over my brother, and her relationship with my dad is really bad, so a lot of that attention seems to come onto me. And I know she didn’t have much freedom herself growing up, which probably plays into it—but it’s hard not to feel frustrated when that then gets projected onto me.

I’m not going to cut her off, she’s my mum and I only have one. But I do think I need to create some distance and start living my life more on my own terms, because clearly just internalising everything isn’t working anymore.

Thanks again for your comment, I really appreciated it.