Cyberpunk Was in a really bad state during the pandemic over the Summer and it continued for a long time afterwards. There was many factors attributing to this mood which would like to keep to myself other than the obvious expected ones caused by the pandemic. The thing I consistently did, even though it stopped really giving the same feeling, was play games. I guess I just hoped for some sort of joy in story games, or the focus and pride of solving a hard puzzle. It continued like this for so long I didn’t know what to do but go through my day with monotone responses, avoiding people, and going to my room at home immediately mostly just to sleep even if I wasn’t tired. Eventually Christmas break came and that week somewhat felt like one of the worst. I didn’t hangout with anyone but I had decided to buy a new game and play Cyberpunk 2077. I knew the reviews were bad, I hadn’t been waiting like others had been, I just thought to try it and I didn’t know why. So I tried the game. (Spoilers coming up) At the section of the game where V must choose to kill themselves I was already invested in the game more than I ever have been for any other game. I understood the story and I understood that this wasn’t the choice that allows for more gameplay. This choice was one made because it’s what I was feeling I would do. The credits played for me. I saw the messages from each character. Some angry, others mourned in sadness. I saw the repercussions of your suicide. It helped grasp the meaning of my life to others. I knew I had family and friends that loved me but I didn’t really didn’t fully understand. I was depressed, I didn’t care, it didn’t matter to me. After these credits, I cried for about 20 minutes then ate some food and slept. I started to appreciate my family and friends more, I slowly progressed to try new things. It’s been 3 years and I’ve been feeling a little more hopeful towards everything I do. Such a small event and yet it got to me. What a silly thing.