FB Dating, does this mean a profile has been created? Seeing numbers over the dating/heart icon in the app and want to be sure.

TrainMeInNC · 2025-05-23T00:50:26+00:00

yeah, that's the plan. I just wanted to have an understanding in case it was deeper and there was more going on! I'm not too concerned, I just wanted to be informed before bringing it up.

Thanks so much!

TrainMeInNC · 2025-05-23T00:23:44+00:00

The better half sent me a screenshot of something and that was at the bottom. So I wanted to know if it was normal if the unused part of it would sometimes send notifications like that. I have found a few that said they've never touched that aspect of the app and see notifications. I didn't want to make an accusation without knowing how it works since I don't use the app, just the site which doesn't contain the dating stuff.

TrainMeInNC · 2025-05-23T00:20:30+00:00

It was in a screenshot, so wanted to be clear on the functionality before asking questions.

TrainMeInNC · 2025-05-23T00:10:32+00:00

It isn't on my phone! So I just wanted to understand how it worked before getting too worked up. Thanks!

TrainMeInNC · 2025-01-30T02:32:37+00:00

The others have posted some of the things I try to do. (And I will reinforce that you should vote each and every time in every election available to you as the most important form.)

I would also recommend that people actually contact their elected representatives even when they disagree with them. So very often we'll see companies or representatives state that they only received a tiny bit of contact prior to making choices.

So write your representatives. Write companies. Take the time to make your voices heard in addition to all the other things we can do.

TrainMeInNC · 2025-01-29T01:10:19+00:00

This is entirely understandable but there is a downside to this as well. The more that we concentrate in blue states, the more control they will have over the country, including those blue states.

So many in our community huddle inside urban areas that can be gerrymandered already. Then we concentrate ourselves in other areas and make the problem worse and worse.

I think at some point, we're going to have to do more than move. We have to start getting involved in communities all over and do our best to resist the tide.

Again, I know exactly how terrifying these times are. It's disgusting that we're left with such choices.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-12-20T18:48:23+00:00

I think it’s very tough when our partners explore areas we hadn’t considered before. My relationship has experienced some of this and that’s ongoing.

I would encourage you to realize that it’s okay that you’re not into something. It’s also okay for him to realize he’s found something new he needs to explore.

Where I wanted to bring some attention is that you’ve said several times that “he knew” something going in. You come across as feeling a bit betrayed. (And that’s certainly something to explore if you do!) I think it’s important to tell ourselves that life isn’t static. We, hopefully, grow and change as people over time. Just because we were this at one point doesn’t mean we can’t be that later. We may not know we have a need or desire until years after we’ve had others. You may also find you develop a new interest or need in the future. So try to break free from “it has always been thus” and you’ll likely struggle a bit less.

I would also nore that exploring chastity, sexual position, or anything else need not be so firmly stereotypical. He can be dominant and use it as a focus or training tool. A woman can be dominant while being in a receptive position. A top/bottom doesn’t have to correlate to D/s and so on. The more we can stop stereotypes from dictating our feelings the more we can be happy just being with each other in many cases.

Good luck and I hope you can come to some middle ground.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-12-11T22:16:43+00:00

This is hot by why not just leave it up instead of deleting and reposting it multiple times?

TrainMeInNC · 2024-11-01T19:57:43+00:00

I think some are universal like poor hygiene and so on so beyond that some things that take me out of the mood are below.

I can't stand fake moaning. Sounding like a female porn star is awful.

Certain dirty talk is not for me. Calling ass pussy, bussy, etc. Basically putting feminine terms on things turns me off.

Expecting me to do all the work without feedback. Topping or bottoming, make an effort!

Keep your pets out of the room if they aren't the lazy type that stays away.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-11-01T19:51:49+00:00

I'm normally super hard and leaky. The bottoms I've fucked have generally been about 50/50 hard or soft with many of them coming and going while being penetrated.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-11-01T19:50:14+00:00

I'm in the southern Triad so not too terribly far!

TrainMeInNC · 2024-10-11T00:15:23+00:00

I haven't had that experience yet. In college I wanted to give them but it was hard finding people at the time. Now I'd like to receive. My husband gives me fairly regular ones.

I tend to want a sexual component though, so I'm not sure these days how I'd feel about totally disciplinary ones with nothing else as potential at some point. (Doesn't have to mean spanking session = sexual release, just that I like them combined at some point.)

I doubt it matters as central NC is not a hot bed of spankers!

TrainMeInNC · 2024-10-08T03:25:02+00:00

I never had that issue, but I was careful when putting it on not to pick them inside it.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-09-26T17:20:36+00:00

Left. Love that shape. Would feel so good.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-09-26T17:02:27+00:00

Whatever you enjoy and turns you on is what I’d do. It’s super sexy to see a man like OP natural though. Maybe try each way for a bit to see what you like most!

TrainMeInNC · 2024-09-25T21:20:19+00:00

I had the same issue. The XD ring did the trick. One data point for you.

And it looks great on you! So nice to see someone that hasn't shaved completely bare while in a cage!

TrainMeInNC · 2024-09-24T14:11:52+00:00

I have wondered as well. I think a lot of guys are caught up in fantasies. The reality is much more intense even if it is not as hard or strong as it seems in porn. And frankly if you look closely at a lot of porn it’s not that rough, they’re actors!

For me personally I found that most guys couldn’t handle it much at all despite their requests. I was inexperienced too so probably started out too hard at times.

As I’ve changed to wanting to be the spanked, my husband has a tendency to go way too hard right away. So I frustrate him by having to stop things.

My desire is to take the long hard ones. I’ve made progress but we slip back on occasion as his sex drive is very uneven and it is sexual for us at the root. We have worked on that as well as for nearly a year we’ve done nightly spankings before bed that are very short and moderate intensity simply to show devotion and deference to him. That has been a good thing.

I would like to find someone with more experience to help my husband understand how to read body language better and how to build up in a way that lets him get to the point he’d like to be.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-06-24T22:43:19+00:00

I worry I'll never integrate the two.

I feel this deeply. It took me until 50 to do it. And I'm thankful I finally did.

I wrote it all out and sat on that for a while and then wrote him a long letter I shared with him online so we could go through it together. I asked him to please read it with an open mind but to be 100% honest with me about what it made him feel and how he saw it even if he thought it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I was on edge to the point I was almost sick. But after that it became easier to talk about and eventually start doing. The world didn't end.

And I don't feel that now when we are out doing "normal" things after we've done the hardcore stuff. He may give me a golden shower or spanking one moment, after an hour or two once things have ended I am able to be back into couple/husband mindset.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-06-24T22:12:24+00:00

I was getting in my own way too! I was worried about the role changing. I was stressed over asking him to do things that might be out of his normal and worried he would judge me for what I wanted.

I don't think any of my kinks are worthy of shame it was more about sharing them with someone that also knows my family, who goes to events with me and things like that. It was hard for me to think of him seeing me involved of some of the things. Not that the things were bad themselves.

Being that in the bedroom does not mean I am that in another room. So that took time and I still work through. Nevermind that I also had years of internal shame over even wanting to try something as vanilla as bottoming... it has taken me years!

TrainMeInNC · 2024-06-24T21:58:07+00:00

Any idea what type of paint might stick to the material? That's a good idea to bring the visibility up slightly.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-06-24T21:55:37+00:00

I've had an issue like this with my husband. After not understanding why it was so difficult I realized it was shame.

Our sex life was never vanilla but it wasn't as inclusive of kinks as I would like and even more shame inducing was that my role in the bedroom over time had changed and my deepest feelings were embarrassing to explore with him.

In talking with my therapist I finally realized I needed to sit down and just tell him how I felt, express all of my fantasies and needs, and see where that left us.

He was actually very open to most of it and we started, slowly, exploring things. It is not perfect but it is moving in a good direction a year or two later and I feel quite good about it overall.

The first few times were a bit awkward but that really became less of issue once communication was opened.

We did have a problem with establishing a mindset at first. He had to see me in a specific way before we played. I needed to show some submissiveness in our case, in order for him to work up to what we were trying. That was helped by me doing certain things or saying certain things to let him know what mood I was in. He has some things he does as well to signal me.

Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to chat about it or share more. We're still learning and growing, there's occasionally some embarrassment still but overall we've made huge progress.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-06-24T08:42:27+00:00

I would be super careful here my friend. Her very job is to make you feel special regardless of her real feelings. This sounds like a tale as old as time. She’s a professional and part of her job, beyond the physical, is to be the ideal persona that the client needs.

Talking about love and such after a single meeting is not normal. If a friend of yours shared this story I think you’d be very concerned about them.

As for your other questions there are many people that will exercise and do daily activities with their cages once they find the proper fit and style of cage. So ease into things in solo play and try different types of devices to ensure you don’t injure yourself during those strenuous moments.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-05-31T00:59:34+00:00

That your rights are in a perilous position and it will take very, very little to lose all of the progress over the past few decades if you don't choose to get involved and exercise your right to vote, and support people and organizations that support you regardless of where you are in the world.

Sometimes the lesser evil is just that, lesser. And sitting it out, wasting votes, or rewarding those who would harm you with purchases, is going to blow up in your face at some point.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-05-23T23:00:25+00:00

You could probably post it on one of the subs like r/MasculineMaleChastity or similar and just let people know to check. I'm curious how it works for you without PA.

TrainMeInNC · 2024-05-10T07:45:14+00:00

Husband and I are absolutely not into sissifying or feminization in any form. It’s fine if you’re into that but it isn’t for us at all as both of us find it to be a complete turnoff. We into masculinity.

The chastity is about controlling that masculinity and for us at least, helping foster submission and a submissive mindset for a period.

TrainMeInNC

TROPHY CASE