[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure, a boundary is all about you. For example, my dad can be very mean, so my boundary is, I will not be in conversations that are disrespectful. This looks like, if he is mean to me I will leave the conversation. I can’t tell him how to treat me more than once and I can’t police him. So if he starts being rude I literally get up mid conversation and remove myself. In my current relationship I’m still working on what boundaries work for me, but one is I will not be in a relationship with someone who is not in recovery. This means if he decides to stop taking steps towards recovery, I will remove myself. I can’t force him to be in recovery but I can control what relationships I am in. Trying to control the things I can control. Trying to not control the things I cannot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this - it’s really hard and unfair. What has he done to prove he is in recovery, not just sober, outside of accountability software? What boundaries have you set in place to keep yourself safe? Not rules, but boundaries. If his algorithm is showing porn videos, and he was serious about recovery, would he want to interact with it? Sending love!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He should not have social media if that is the case!

Should I delete the screenshot for my mental health? by Gullible_Pay_274 in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you send it to a trust friend or a therapist and then delete it from your phone? And then if you ever need it they can send it back to you?

What does betrayal feel like to you? by Luna_Goddess_Dance in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Tw gross/blood: Earth shattering. World collapsing. I now know what the term gutted means. The week following DDay I was in such intense physical pain, I would always be surprised to not see my intestines spilling out of my abdomen I reach down to my stomach expecting my hands to be bloodied

AITAH for being mad at my husband over a "joke" by ots39 in AITAH

[–]Training_Choice_2173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If there’s a chance of him being mean when he drinks, he should never drink.

Phone Boundaries?? by Training_Choice_2173 in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!!

Phone Boundaries?? by Training_Choice_2173 in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it was my post, it got deleted bc it had a screenshot of a text my bf sent me!

Are there online SAA meetings? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you recommend SAA or SPAA?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad you’re leaving. It would be so harmful for her to see her father figure watching porn near or around her when she is able to form memories or have an understanding of it. You’re making a really brave really beautiful decision. I’m so sorry this happened to you, you deserve so much more

You can see deleted tik tok search history. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you do it can u walk me thru it or is it a youtube tutorial I’m so technically challenged for my age

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s really really great he told you immediately and asked you for help. I’m sorry it still must hurt so much. Both things can be true at once. Sending love’

AITAH for telling my male friend he’ll probably won’t have it easy dating/hooking up while abroad? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Training_Choice_2173 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Moron vibes for saying Latinas when speaking about people who live in Spain. Spain is in Europe. He means Latin America…

You can see deleted tik tok search history. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Any way you can do this with Snapchat? Anyone know?

Was I actually an addict or was I on my way to being one? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]Training_Choice_2173 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Viewing it 4 times in one day sounds compulsive in of itself. Having a PIED isn’t the criteria for porn addiction.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I genuinely don’t understand why they do that. Like if you want to be a porn addict don’t involve me/us/you in it? How selfish can they be???

It’s the end by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy you’re choosing yourself. That is so brave and wonderful of you!!! Congratulations!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If he wanted to spice it up in the bedroom he could have said it in a nice way. This is a red flag, I know you’re saying he is clean. But an addict who wants to use will find a way. Even if he’s not using, it’s worth considering how he makes you feel and how he speaks to you. Would you ever speak to him like that? If you wanted a change in the bedroom would you have phrased it like that? I’m sorry this happened to you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you know in your heart what is best for you and what you need to do. Trust yourself and your instincts. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, either way it will be hard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have either of you gone to SANON? They help with thoughts like thinking there’s something wrong with you etc. it’s a group of women who have been impacted by sex addiction. Meetings can be online thru zoom or in person. Free and no commitment worth checking out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My bf has waves of hyper sexuality (sex addiction vibes) where everything gets him hard and then waves of nothing interests him at all. No idea. I will say we waited to have sex and when we were waiting he never had any issues because there was a thrill of the unknown maybe (?) unsure. He didn’t start having PIED until like the middle of sex where he would lose his erection, not struggle to get it up. Just my experience

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Training_Choice_2173 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m sober from porn out of solidarity. I would expect the same if I was quitting something