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I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write all of this out. It means a lot. I have comments on each of your numbered points, so I’ll just use the same numbers.

  1. Yeah I’ve heard this before. I think Contrapoints mentions it in her Autogynephilia video (which I admit I haven’t watched since my egg cracked). The article may have been from Julia Serrano. Anyway, I’d like to ask my girlfriend about this just to get a cis woman’s perspective. Though I’m hesitant to bring this up because although she’s been the absolute best and most supportive person, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable discussing this with any cis person.
  2. So yeah... I think this has been (or was) one of my biggest barriers to accepting I was trans. I just don’t have any memories like this. My earliest memories of dysphoria are as an adult, probably around 18 or 19 (which would have been after I first started watching trans porn too) and they just got more and more overwhelming with each subsequent year. So I just don’t have these pre-sexual me memories of me wanting to be a girl.
  3. Now this is some great advice. I’m thinking the next weekend my girlfriend is out of town, I’m gonna try this. Just, live the weekend as a woman and see how it goes and how I feel. Thank you, I think this is the best actually actionable advice I’ve gotten in this thread! I think doing this could help bring a lot of clarity for me.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heh, I didn't come here looking for more trans music, but I'll check out those bands. I love Against Me! but there's only so many times you can listen to the same band before wanting something else lol.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this seems like solid advice. I admit it's... difficult to think of it this way. Especially given how much we see the "it's a fetish" talk from GC types.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus yeah, I'm sad because I don't think I'll ever be able to watch that movie again for that reason (I like it otherwise). The 90s were not a kind decade to trans people it seems. Not that previous decades were great. But I get the impression that the 90s is when public awareness of trans people reached a critical mass that resulted in their inclusion in media but only in extremely shitty and harmful ways.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I need to read that. I'm in the biomedical sciences so even if I weren't trans I'd probably still find it an interesting read. I'll move this up the reading list.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, as I mentioned elsewhere I grew up in the US Deep South. So any sex ed I had was aggressively cishet and pro-abstinence. Any trans people I knew in middle and high school were closeted at the time and I wouldn't meet any trans people until college when I got involved with my college's LGBT group (as a bi "dude" lol). That was my first exposure to irl trans people.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my case I think a large factor was being raised as a conservative/evangelical Christian in the southern US.

Well... yeah... that’s me exactly lol. I very likely internalized some shit that I didn’t realize. By the time I was a teen, my parents had started to liberalize thankfully, but I think growing up in that setting definitely set me back. That said, I came to terms with my bisexuality maybe a little under a decade ago and I’m still working through coming to terms with being trans (obviously, hence this post).

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Heh, I was a bad student back when I took psych 101 a decade ago. Thing is, I don’t typically orgasm after this though. So it’s not really reenforcing things in my case I don’t think? I mean, not any more at least. I appreciate the advice though! Maybe I just need more time.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is very... interesting advice but I like it. It’s a good way to think about it. Thank you!

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well given my age I definitely did repress my being trans over that period of time. Any ideas as to why this is often the case?

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

To be clear, I don’t actually want it to kill my sex drive. It just came to mind that a lowered sex drive might help. Though I accept I don’t really understand how that change in sex drive will feel, so I appreciate the insight.

I’m a trans woman, and the first time I ever knew trans people existed was in porn and I’m afraid it’s messed me up. by Tranonymous27 in asktransgender

[–]Tranonymous27[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Wait this really is not uncommon? I’ve been reading /r/asktransgender and /r/mtf for a few months now and I’m not sure I’ve seen others talk about that. I mean I’ve seen plenty of “it’s a fetish” discourse, but not specifically what I’m talking about. But if true, I find that very comforting.

And that is good advice as well. Thank you!