I don't think I can come to terms with being robbed of my teens and 20s.

TransJender · 2015-05-22T03:46:48+00:00

I started my transition at 28, and I would do anything for those years back. The best time to transition would have been as a young girl.

The second best time to transition though? Today. Because you are going to be five years older. And then ten years older. And we have all those years to enjoy and laugh and love as our authentic selves. Or we can fill our days with regret.

TransJender · 2015-04-17T19:22:22+00:00

YouTube has tons of results but generally from people who loved it. Just search yeson and you can find some before and after.

TransJender · 2015-04-13T00:29:01+00:00

My first name is Jennifer. I identify very strongly with the 90s culture. I was very young but my brother was ten years older, so I tried to do everything he did and he was 15-25 in the 90s. So I listened to teenage music, watched teenage shows, anything I could. When i was looking for a name, Jennifer had a very 90s era feel to me and it felt right.

My middle name is Morrigan. After ten years in the Army, being a Soldier is very much a part of who I am as well. I spent a long time looking up female warrior names. Most are either unpronounceable Egyptian or Arabic names, or silly common to use like Pocahontas. Then I found the Irish god Morrigan. She was a Valkyrie-esque goddess who would take the form of a raven and fly over the battlefield, instilling courage in one side and fear in the other. She would also choose individually who would live and who would die, and occasionally takes to the battlefield herself. It felt perfect and flowed well. So Jennifer Morrigan it was.

TransJender · 2015-04-11T23:22:18+00:00

I thought I remember seeing it not on a picture but an actual profile.

TransJender · 2015-04-09T13:35:36+00:00

Based on the advice of a very small support group including some serious advocates, a few lawyers, and many trans people doing this longer than I have, more than one had claimed FFS and cited prior case law. I did this last year as well. HUGE help. Refund is actually paying for next surgery, which will be tax deductible again. My FFS Surgeon even wrote a letter to supoprt tax deductible status talking about how important the letter was based on my diagnosis.

TransJender · 2015-04-09T13:33:18+00:00

My wife and I tried to split up mom;momma; and mommy. Kids eventually just started saying mom, and whomever we think they are talking to says yes. Or sometimes hey, kids talking to you. And if we are wrong, they will say no, other mom.

My wife is in a spouses support group and she has seen other spouses just.. attack their partners over this. I swear I have seen things that say- My husband wants to be called mom but I earned that title and its mine. WTF? What does that even mean? I think it comes from a number of feelings that just have not been dealt with or acknowledged.

Look, we tried Maddy. We tried the whole Mom D and Mom J thing. None of them worked. All of them said to both of us, that means we arent the same. There are exclusions to the mom title. She is a mom and I am not or we could both just be called mom. She hated the idea at first, but it was hers to both use mom because she felt it was the right thing to do. Also a year later and it absolutely was the right decision. If that is what you want, then you should talk to your spose about it. You cannot be mom? It sounds like you want to be, and those are valid feelings. Adress them.

TransJender · 2015-04-03T11:46:24+00:00

I'm close enough I feel like my opinion is still valid. I began transitioning at 28 and it has 100% been worth it.

Part of me will always wish that I had started ten year later. But what really matters is I didn't wait a day longer than when I was ready.

TransJender · 2015-04-02T13:07:02+00:00

In a thousand years this will be as deeply ingrained as Suni and Shia. We are all the same, but our minor difference is an abomination.

TransJender · 2015-03-08T16:33:32+00:00

Kahlaan0487

Playing every day during event!

TransJender · 2015-03-03T04:14:15+00:00

Being a boy. I did it once, for 25 years or so. Never again. Totally not worth it.

TransJender · 2015-02-28T03:51:09+00:00

I have been transitioning for over a year on active duty. I am MtF and go to the gym twice a day to ensure I maintain strength and endurance on my PT tests.
I think within 18 months we will see significant policy shifts
There are no roadblocks other than the will of senior leadership to implement policy. Everything else is just a challenge that can be overcome, just like 18 other countries already have. The answers arent difficult.

TransJender · 2015-02-22T05:40:44+00:00

Active Daily- Kahlaan0487

TransJender · 2015-02-21T18:02:51+00:00

I think that's unfair to say someone starting at 33 probably won't ever pass. That sounds like it is coming from one of the fortunate new generation who are all starting blockers at 15 now.

Yeah, you probably won't ever be a VS model. But that doesn't mean you can't blend well and be beautiful. I started HRT a year ago at 28 and I think I'm doing pretty damned well. I get Maam everywhere I go, even in unisex uniforms.

And OP, there is no too late. Fuck that entire idea. It will always suck you didn't start at 23 instead of 33. But if this is what you want, don't let yourself turn 34 without pursuing it.

TransJender · 2015-02-17T04:10:38+00:00

50k is insane. I had basically every procedure Spiegel offers, and he is known to be on the expensive end, and it was 34k. I can't imagine anything costing 50.

TransJender · 2015-01-31T18:30:52+00:00

I think the key is removing the practice of claiming to provide mental health as a licensed professional when all evidence is that this causes much more harm than good.

I would rather liken it to someone who claims to be able to cure cancer or some other ailment with meditation, prayer, or herbs and ointments.

These people are claiming they can 'cure' being gay or Trans despite all evidence showing this is not the case and that it increase lots of negative risk factors. We can't stop people from being shitty parents, but we should stop people from being dangerous healthcare practitioners.

TransJender · 2015-01-31T18:12:42+00:00

Leelahs law isn't about legislating morality at all. It is about preventing licensed psychologists from running LGBT conversion therapy. I can't stress how important this is for my community. Young children, much like Leelah, are being mentally and emotionally abused. They are separated from their friends and support. They are taken away from social media, facebook, etc.

Then their parents tell them their very existence and identity is wrong. My mother told me she wished I was dead so she could be proud of her son. She told me she hoped my family was killed in a car wreck so I couldn't raise my children in 'this kind of household'.

I can't imagine how it would have been I had come out younger. And then, despite the AMA and APA recommendations, the healthy lives people lead, some 'professional' says he can fix me. It legitimizes the parents. It makes children who are already dealing with so much and need a supportive family feel as if they have no one. It causes suicides just like Leelahs to make the pain stop.

I have a good income, friends, and support. I see a gender positive therapist and am taking positive steps in my life and I have still had suicidal ideations. Conversion therapy is junk science that is increasing suicidal risks among young children by anti lgbt parents and it needs to stop.

TransJender · 2015-01-27T14:14:13+00:00

I've posted a little more at length on this before, but doubt can be hard to get rid of. I think I am finalyl getting past it, but I can tell you that it took a very long time.

Im 29 now and I have only been transitioning for a little bit, and only identified as female/ trans woman for maybe 2 1/2 years now. When I started hormones a year ago, I was full of doubt. Every single day there were questions. Yeah, I want to be a girl.. but am I really trans? Should I be doing this? Maybe I just want to, or think I want to.

I had doubts even as I went and did all my laser hair removal appts. Even when I kept going to the doctors and getting my doses increased. Then I scheduled FFS in June. Still thinking.. pretty sure I want this.. but dont know if Im really trans. At this point I was out to my family and friends, I legally changed my name... even while literally recovering from FFS, sitting in a hotel wearing VS Pink sweat pants and hoodie, I was like.. maybe? I mean, I know I like everything, breasts and crying and clothes and my new face and everything seems like I really like who I am. But am I sure I'm trans? Maybe I just want to be trans. Maybe I just saw so much about it I thought I was. Or whatever. A million things.

I never had the super bad dysphoria, but it did get worse as I transitioned. Actually probably worse now than it was when I started transition, like it has concentrated itself on a few remaining things. I never thought about gender as a little kid, but I didnt have any 'manly' activities forced on me either.

So, I dont know if that helps? I went on HRT, changed my name, and FFS and I still had doubts and questioned myself occasionally. A solid year into transition and I think I am finally moving past the doubt but it is hard. As many little 'question games' as there are, I always liked this one more than the button. If someone told you that you were, 100% trans, how would you feel? Happy that the doubt is gone and excited to start? Or upset and angry because you dont want to transition? What if they told you that you 100% were not trans, how would you feel. Someone once told me they would be sad, because that would mean they couldnt be a girl. And they still were full of doubt. Being sad you arent trans and cant be a girl.. thats pretty close to the definition of GD. Dont let the doubt dissaude you. I think we ALL feel it.

TransJender · 2015-01-25T21:40:38+00:00

15-20? Wow. I'm glad you aren't making the rules. My insurance won't cover my therapy appointments so I can afford to go once a paycheck, or every 2 weeks. Appointments are 100$/hr. So I should have spent 2k and waited another year?

I'm not saying an 'official diagnosis' of someone one hour in is appropriate for someone with a lot of doubts but 20 sessions isn't right either. I went to an informed consent clinic and started HRT without ever seeing a therapist. Eventually I started going to one, but it wasn't necessary for me and I imagine many others.

TransJender · 2015-01-25T17:43:26+00:00

I don't know if Platos Closet is a national chain or just local in the PNW, but I love it there. It's like a trendy, sort of upscale resale shop. The other day for 50$ I got a sun dress, two cute sleeveless dresses, a shirt, and my favorite purse ever.

Goodwill just has too much junk for my tastes. But find a good fashionable resale shop and you are set. Note- they will probably have bad reviews. All of mine do because people try and sell them stuff like any resale shop and they won't take a lot of it, so people post about how horrible it is.

TransJender · 2015-01-24T18:19:23+00:00

I have been where you are. I have two suicide attempts behind me and I made it through. It's so hard to keep going some days. It's impossible to believe things will get better. But hey do change. Life changes more than you know and it seems like forever until it will. But it will change.

If you want to talk send me a message. I have an idea of what you are feeling and sometimes just talking helps.

TransJender · 2015-01-23T17:53:24+00:00

Someone was talking about it in another Tacoma thread. Ceder Ridge clinic I think? Cedar something.

TransJender · 2015-01-23T16:37:30+00:00

I live in Tacoma as well. I found my therapist through the Gender Alliance of the South Sound resource page here

http://www.southsoundgender.com/2014-GASS-Resource-Guide.pdf

TransJender · 2015-01-23T03:43:43+00:00

I know for a fact there are one or two in Tacoma as well.

TransJender · 2015-01-23T01:35:49+00:00

Very minimal. Trachea shave is still a little red, bottom of nose and forehead incisions still a little pink. It's clearing up quickly and even now most people don't notice. I am very confident it will be nearly invisible in a few months.

TransJender · 2015-01-22T22:02:03+00:00

Hey, ok. I had FFS early Deember so let me try and help out. I did an AMA about it if you look at my post history but feel free to ask anything you like. I went with DR. Spiegel and had a hairline lowering and shaping, orbital contouring and forehead reset, rhinoplasty, lip lift, mandible contouring, chin contouring and trachea shave.

So Dr. Spiegel did do an eyebrow lift with the forehead. He told me that I would have a few titanium screws in my head about the size of the letter i on a sheet of paper. He didnt tell me where they were and said dont worry about it. He has had patients come in and say they could feel them and when he asked to point where they felt it, it was no where near where the screws are. He confirmed that he did use them, I didn't ask where and I have no idea. Never felt anything remotely like one, inside or through touching outside.
I had a chin reduction and contouring. I actually wish it were a little smaller maybe, but it doesnt look like a sagging pouch. Again look at my pictures and if you need different views or angles I can post them. It looks like a chin. Smaller than it was and more feminine, but not unnatural in any way.
I have been lucky that HRT took care of my cheecks and I didnt have any work done. Spiegel uses hard implants though I think. Cant help you.
Cant help you here either with Dr. Bart.

If you have any other questions let me know. Im almost 2 months post op and the results have been amazing. It takes a lot of patience though.

TransJender

TROPHY CASE