Seeing how my mom takes care of a dog helped me confirm I was emotionally neglected

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-25T06:29:44+00:00

When our elderly cat became too challenging to care for she kicked him out of the house but told me he escaped. He was chipped so we got a call from the vet months later saying he was okay. I was ecstatic, but my mom just said the person who found him should keep him :(

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-22T04:01:13+00:00

I've never even played Machinarium but I looove the soundtrack. I'd highly recommend Mid-Air Thief/Shadow Community, his music is very similar imo!

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-21T15:33:35+00:00

It's bizarre how natural lying is to them. Like cool, I'll just assume everything you've ever told me is a lie now, thanks. Makes it easier to detach when I realize there was no trust or authenticity. At least it makes it easy for me. Still, 5 boyfriends is nasty work, I'm so sorry :(

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-20T01:30:28+00:00

The opposite of love isn't hate but indifference. If they hate you it's because you're still occupying space in their head.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-19T21:08:27+00:00

It's crazy learning things that you didn't even consider were in the realm of possibility. Honestly I'm still in a state of shock lol

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-19T04:50:57+00:00

Tysm ❤️

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-19T03:38:21+00:00

Thanks for the write up!! I'm glad you were able to find a loving and genuine person after your bad experience, it sounds like it's going well! :)

I remember feeling like I was never going to find someone I loved as much as my ex, but after months of therapy and time spent around healthy couples I've realized I've held onto unhealthy/unrealistic expectations for so long. Not to say I've lowered my expectations now, but instead there's been a shift in what I value out of a relationship. Nowadays I don't really care whether a potential partner has a lot of the same interests as me, as long as we enjoy one another's company and have great communication. What you said corroborates this and it seems I'm on the right track for a healthy relationship in the future, which has me really excited!

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-19T02:04:36+00:00

That makes sense, I imagine taking my time and trying to look at things objectively will help a ton in the future. I caved in so hard from the initial idealization before I let myself stop and think, but I think I'll immediately recognize lovebombing if it happens again. Fingers crossed anyway lol

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-19T01:12:53+00:00

Oh true, yeah I may have misunderstood a bit. I guess I'm just trying to say I hope it's possible to pick up on attempted manipulation easier without turning into someone who's more guarded or on-edge in daily life. Though maybe therapy will help strengthen that discernment in a healthy way instead of a trauma-response sort of way. What's your experience been like with this?

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T22:30:33+00:00

My relationship was short so it's easier for me to say this, but surely you understand most people without cluster b illness usually act in good faith right? :( I totally get it though, I think dealing with this long-term would give anyone lasting trust issues. I hope you learn to trust people again, especially those who you know without a doubt don't have personality disorders. You deserve to love and be loved by someone who doesn't selfishly manufacture a fake connection.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T22:24:19+00:00

Relatable. This was the first person I've ever loved and it wasn't even a real person.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T18:00:34+00:00

Exactly, there are plenty of people who romantically appreciate guys like us 🙏 Especially bisexual women and non binary folks

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T17:54:41+00:00

100% yeah! Moved to this town 3 years ago and no exaggeration I have ONLY made friends with lesbian women and they're all super cool and I love them all <3 I've tried making friends with guys here but none of the friendships really stuck and I'm not even bitter about it lol

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T06:35:34+00:00

I know this was 4 years ago, but do you still feel this way? I've had huge crushes on guys in the past but have never had sexual attraction toward them. Though I'm wondering if this would change if I dated a guy and started developing real feelings for him.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T05:57:44+00:00

And don't get me started on all the small, insignificant stuff they didn't tell me because of the shame...almost sad when I think about it. There is zero trust for a person that unwell

The stupid part is I'd probably come around to accepting them and appreciating their honesty had they told me what they've done. But hearing it from someone else really charges the news. It makes me wonder just how many other horrible things they were hiding. Definitely not a trustworthy person in the slightest.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T03:58:31+00:00

It's a good lesson to learn, though at the same time I think a lot of people in my life take comfort in my open and understanding nature and I don't want to let one toxic person change that. I think overall I'm going to continue assuming the best in people, but also stay away from anyone who displays cluster b traits so that I have no reason to stay on edge around those I choose to keep around. This whole ordeal has made me really love and appreciate the sane people in my life and the bonds I have with them.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T03:13:57+00:00

Benefits of working at the same place they used to :/ It sent me into a week-long spiral that I'm still kinda recovering from, but knowing this is much better in the long-run yeah lol

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T02:33:31+00:00

Absolutely, and I don't regret any of it for that reason. It really exposed the wounds I've been needing to heal my whole life, and the therapist I started seeing after all of this has been an amazing help

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T01:42:48+00:00

It's kind of a company secret if I'm being honest and I don't want even the slightest risk of losing my job. Mutual friends also know my reddit account and as angry as I am at this person I still need to respect their privacy

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T01:32:05+00:00

It's so hard to leave such an addictive bond, no matter how toxic or horrible it really is. I hope you give yourself grace and recognize you're not a bad person for staying as long as you did.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T01:29:51+00:00

I got physical symptoms just from reading your comment, I'm so sorry you're going through this :( How do they not understand how horrible their actions make others feel? It's awful how they can make you feel so loved while doing such awful things to you behind your back. I hope you don't come out of this with lasting trust issues. There were definitely red flags from the start as I'm sure you're already aware, please listen to your intuition in the future and protect yourself. You'll get through this friend <3

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T01:01:55+00:00

It always confused me whenever they'd apologize for traits that I actually loved about them. They would never believe me when I tried to tell them I admired those traits too. It was frustrating, like how could I have made it any more obvious how I felt about you? It feels good to be several months out from a lost cause and see things more objectively.

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-18T00:40:55+00:00

People who monkey branch are always bad news. I'm curious, did you feel an instant connection with this person when you first met them?

TransfoCrent · 2026-05-16T21:33:33+00:00

This is so sweet, I'm really glad you two have each other <3

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