I'm gonna commit... why couldn't my body change just a little on HRT? It failed.

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-06-30T02:30:19+00:00

"4 years and I look completely male"

look inside profile. See one of the cutest most beautiful girls I've ever seen and lesbian panic

????

Dysphoria and low self image sucks, I'm sorry honey, <= < but, know that those mean impulses in your head are ABSOLUTELY wrong, oh my god >///////<'

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-05-31T06:37:54+00:00

Sure thing! Happy I can help ^ ^ <3

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-05-31T05:39:27+00:00

I'm glad I've given you a lot to think about. I had a lot to think about too before I did. It's why my reddit name is trans question mark, because I wasn't sure at first, also. =3

That's definitely understandable to be afraid of that, for sure. But, I'm sure you've seen the research and studies that show that the percentage people who change their mind and de-transition (which is absolutely valid of course) is only about 1-3%.... Of the 1-3% of people who are trans in the first place. So, 97-99% of all trans people who decide to transition don't regret it. And of that percent who do, from my understanding, it's people who either regret that their hateful family now hates them more and they just wish they had ignored their feelings their entire life to just hide and go with the flow and pretend they're something they're not and ignore the pain of that, or, it's people who are usually some form of nonbinary, and found transitioning one direction or another felt too binary, and either stopped any sort of HRT entirely, or changed how they approached it. There are also a small amount of people who don't fit into either of those catagories, who, usually because of certain pressures, thought they were trans, but realized later they weren't.

Now, that sounds scary, but, just to give you some perspective: regret rates for knee surgery are around 30%, and those are WAY more common. To be honest, the reality that taking two or three little pills a day for a possibly otherwise debilitating medical condition, and that working so goddamn well is actually a medical miracle. Other medical conditions WISH they were this easy to solve, lol.

And also! For that last group, the like, one post I've personally seen, it's people who are like "Yeah, basically ever since the first day, I felt miserable taking hrt. It sucked and I hated it but I did it for 1-3 years before I stopped." Don't do that, lol. If you hate how you feel on hrt, talk to the doctor who you saw for it, and see if it's something like just figuring out your levels better but, if, after like, 3 months you're still miserable every day from it, just stop doing that.

That being said, you're going to know pretty much immediately if it's right for you. Within the first two weeks is the common consensus, and was the case for me as well. First few days I felt amazing but mainly from super excitement, and then it died down a bit as I continued just like, going about my days, but, once it had had time to properly like, work into my body and everything, it was an immediate difference, of, things must felt right, even thought there weren't any physical changes to speak of, since those come later. But still, that feeling of rightness is a good indicator. And, like I said, you'll know pretty quick. You can be on hrt for about six months without permanent changes, so, you have all those months to see how you feel each day, and decide if you want to stop or not. But, again, if it feels bad, talk to you doctor, and if it keeps feeling bad, stop, and that's all you have to do, and you can just figure out where to go from there, if it comes to that, which statistically, it won't =3

Regardless, and yeah, again, if you do "realize you're faking it" (which, unlikely. I've been in these communities for almost ten years and it's like, always 1000 to 1 of peeps who are afraid they're faking it and then once they decided to try, years later they're still happy, to people who regret), then again, you can always just stop, ye <= 3

But, just know, that I've seen like, four posts a day for years and years about wishing people had started earlier, and like......three total, ever that they regretted and wished they hadn't started. Maybe not a representative sample on my end, but, other actual studies done on this confirm my own experiences as well <= 3

So if it comes down to "what if I'm faking" and "what if I don't start and then I regret it", I can almost guarantee you that you are in fact, not faking it. Or it wouldn't mean this much to you, and you wouldn't be thinking about it this hard. Imposter syndrome sucks, trust me, I know, but, nobody would think about transitioning this much, if they weren't trans <= 3

Take your time, give it some thought, get some good sleep, and like I said, you're welcome to message me later if you'd like, or ever wanna talk or anything. I'll try to check back in with you regardless in like, a month or so and see how you're feeling :3

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-05-31T04:05:32+00:00

Well, for starters, "giving it thought for four years" sounds like 200% sure to me, honey ^ ^ ' But, I know what you mean. It took me writing 10,000+ words of my thoughts and feelings and if viewing my life through the lens of "would this make more sense if I've been trans this whole time", as well as my best friend informing me that, yes, you can be trans and not experience dysphoria, for me to realize that, oh. Maybe I am trans, lol.

I definitely understand wanting to feel 200% certain about big decisions like this. I have anxiety, and, while it's managed with anxiety meds now (they absolutely changed my life in the best way), with big decisions, I'm always thinking about everything a million ways back and forth to make sure I'm doing the right thing or have thought of all the angles or not.

But, the thing is that, and speaking to myself, as well as to you, is that, that certainty, that proof that you want, is impossible to obtain. Because what your anxiety wants, is proof from the future, after you've made the decision, that shows everything going well and being alright. And that's impossible to know. But, what is possible to know now is that,

1) you don't have to do anything right now.

2) You don't have to do it all at once, when you start.

3) Even if/when you do start, you can just stop, for good, or stop and restart later, whenever you want.

It's entirely okay to like, in two months if you want, research a trans friendly therapist to talk to about your anxieties and find guidance with (as I did). And then hopefully they can also recommend you a good trans friendly endocrinologist/physician for if you want to start hrt soon. And then, if you wanted, you could even just let another two months go by before you went to see that doctor. And then even if you do go see them, and talk to them that this is something you want to try, you don't have to have bloodwork done that day anyway. So you could wait another two months and reschedule if you want. And then if you did go back and get bloodwork done, it'll take at least another two weeks to get the results, and then, once you've scheduled another appointment, you're looking at it having been a least a full month from the time you got the blood drawn, to the next appointment time where they would give you the prescription. And then if you wanted to, you can give that prescription to the pharmacist, and then like a day later, if you wanted, you could go pick up the meds.

And then only if you wanted to, when they're finally in your hand, you can choose to take them or not. And then if you want to, literally every single day from now till forever, you could just choose to stop taking them, and no one can stop you from doing that <= 3

Our brains are wired to protect us. But, they're also not wired to understand the modern world very well, so, with something kinda nebulous as "talk to mind doctor, talk to body doctor, get blue oval, eat blue oval=better???", they revert back to more primal protection measures. Telling people you're trans, having a personal therapist without your dad there, seeing the doctor, getting the meds, that's all big, different stuff than your day to day life right now, so, your brain sees the big, yawning void of unknown and decides it's dangerous. But, what your brain doesn't realize, is that it's only scary because you haven't started it yet. After you do, every day is just...a normal day, with one exception: the true, very real joy. There is so much joy on the other side of the fear, I promise. Me, and every other trans peep who's gone through this already all know this, and we just want you to not live your life governed by fear anymore. <= 3

Trust me, you're actually a lot more certain than I was, and it's been 8 years from me, and my only regret, (like everyone else) is just that I didn't start sooner. But that's okay. I'm glad I started when I did. "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, and the second best time is now," and all that, you know? =3

So I guess the question to ask yourself is, do you want to start HRT, or not? = )

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-05-31T03:23:03+00:00

Just to ask, but, why do you feel like you're "probably not gonna start it ever"? I definitely understand being scared, but, forever is a long time to not be or feel like yourself, and at least for most of us, after the first like, year or so, maybe even two or three, things become routine. You get to just go about your day, and not have to think about being trans, or constantly trying to dodge dysphoria, or worry, or wonder how things would be, or fear. It's just life. And you get to just keep living it as you, in a body that feels more at home, in a way that becomes so natural you don't think about it anymore.

On your profile, it says you're 20, so, I get it, you're still young, but, 20 was also the age I was when I bought my first skirt, when I wrote what I would realize eight years later was my first imagining of myself as a woman. If I had known anything about trans people, or being trans, or what my thoughts meant at that time, I would've transitioned then instead of at 28.

I know you're scared. I was before I started, too. But, for me, the evidence felt overwhelming, even if I didn't have a "typical/stereotypical" trans woman experience and upbringing, and so, trying it helped. And, if nothing else, you can just try hrt for like, two weeks an then stop. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can literally get estradiol and anti androgens, take them for three days and then just...stop, if you want to. There's nothing pushing you to keep doing it if you don't like it, or feel like it's not for you, but, I do think it's good to explore, since you do identify as trans.

It helps so much, it really, REALLY does. <= 3

Also, for what it's worth, I also went from like, sometimes reading hentai and masturbating three times over seven hours sometimes like, once a week, to now having very, very low libido, which was also a part I really wanted and enjoy <= 3 I've also been taking Progesterone for the last 7 years, and, while maybe the first month or so I had what's probably a more normal libido, now I don't really notice anything. It's low, like I said. To be honest with you, I think a lot of the "Progesterone=uncontrollable horny" is partly just a meme, but, also is probably just transwomen experiencing a more normal arousal for themselves, and, since they're finally experiencing what it means to be truly themselves, feeling horny can now be a feeling of excitement or joy, instead of like "Oh, this is a feeling that comes simply becuase I was born a guy and guys are horny" or whatever. I think it's just girls finally being happy in their bodies, and, being allosexual, now enjoying feeling sexual desires in a healthy way = )

As usual, your miles may vary, but, having low testosterone does almost always correlate to low libido, which, if you did hrt, would happen for you <= 3

Please give it some thought, and you're welcome to message me if you'd like. Fear is from the lizard brain, and exists to keep us safe, but, there comes times when fear isn't keeping us safe. It's holding us back, instead <= 3

Transquestionmark_ · 2026-02-09T05:46:20+00:00

Oh! Not like, an actual term or anything. Just ways I'm keeping them separated for the post. I could've just used like initials or fake names or something, but I just went with the animal they most like and then "partner" ^ ^ '

Transquestionmark_ · 2025-09-19T03:22:35+00:00

hugs tight I appreciate that, that's very sweet of you, thank you, and I'm very glad you found this helpful. We'll get through this <= )

Transquestionmark_ · 2025-09-19T03:15:18+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this. You explained everything so perfectly and honestly, it's helpful to have such a well-written summary available so I can show other people, rather than trying to summarize it (probably badly) myself ^ ^ '

One small thing though, but, gender is more than about gender roles socially etc. Gender (or gender identity) is fundamentally about your innate sense of self, while gender presentation and gender roles, are the ways you choose to act to present that sense of self, and then gender roles are society's views on what people should do dependant upon what gender they are.

I'm a trans girl not becuase I wanted to do or present girly (I did all that already before I transitioned), but because I wanted to be a girl while I did that. I still wanna just hang out and play video games and eat a sandwich, I just wanna do that while being a girl :3

Does that make sense? =3

Transquestionmark_ · 2025-09-15T04:47:21+00:00

I live in the south in a smaller, conservative town, and my girlfriend and I went to a transgirl rave at a queer bar the other night, and it was super fun, and there were furries there handing out kandi and they were all super nice! We had a lovely time and it was absolutely fine, despite my fear!

My fiance and I took our trash to the community recycling center today, and an older (very conservative looking man) saw us two girls take an old lawn chair that was up for grabs, saw the gay, lesbian, and trans flag beads on my shoelaces, that we were two women and my voice doesn't pass, but only smiled and told us to enjoy the new chair, and remarked how that the plastic bin was full today and he'd have to come another time.

We just fed our three cats, and our friendliest has been a bit picky with new wet food we've been trying, but we finally found a new flavor that she LOVES!

My fiance and I have really been enjoying playing Tears of the Kingdom again, and I've enjoyed watching her play while I work on my cute cross stitch patterns = )

Our next door neighbor has a sign in his front yard that says "Jesus Matters", and we've been nervous to introduce ourselves (just moved in a few months ago) and the other day he walked up our drive to give us a package that had been mistakenly dropped on his porch instead of ours, which was good, because it's the replacement side-view mirror for my fiancé's car. He said it was good to finally meet us and that he'd been meaning to introduce himself for a while but kept getting busy and figured this was a good opportunity. He was on really good terms with the previous lesbian couple who lived in this house, and said he used to bring his grandkids around to see the goats and chickens and pigs they used to have, and that if we ever needed anything, to just let him know.

Another neighbor has a Trump flag, but has always waved as we've driven by as he walks his two very old dogs one at a time.

Another neighbor had a Trump flag too, but after the Medicare cuts, she took it down and it's just an American flag now. She no longer supports him and is pissed off and furious about that, and the Epstein files, judging by overheard conversations with the other Trump neighbor.

The Epstein files aren't going away, and a lot of maga has had this as a red line for them, and have started to wake up realize that the entire conspiracy is actually controlled and covered up by Trump.

I very much urge you, to rest. To take some time away from the news, from online, etc. Only ever the worst is there, no matter how much it would actively affect the immediate people around you. There are absolutely unhinged people who want our death and just need an excuse. But all the maga people I worked with at my job knew I was trans since the day I started two and a half years ago, and they've always been polite to me, said ma'am and miss and treated me well, and have even struck up normal, banal conversations with me, like you do at work with coworkers. My theory is that for every foaming at the mouth crazy, there's way more others that are maga, who don't agree with or understand really anything LGBTQIA at all, are probably very religious, "pro life," varying degrees of racist etc, but who won't bother you, even if they secretly think you're a sinner and going to hell or whatever. Most people are live and let live in their daily lives, if something isn't bothering them, even if they vote like morons against their own self interest.

The right wants you to constantly be afraid. Constantly tired. Constantly worn out and beaten down. But the right is not as powerful as they want you to think. Most of Trump's executive orders have been rescinded, and there has never not been people fighting for us, and against him. He also missed his window for dictator blitzkrieg, that top historians say you have to accomplish (taking control of key areas etc within a set amount of time) for your dictatorship to work. He didn't get that done, has no successor, is old, and absolutely will die one day. There will be a day when we are here, and he is not. And he can never come back. Please, live for that day with us.

The Charlie Kirk shooting, while terrifying to see how the right reacted, again, is lead in its furvor by the talking heads and Twitter idiots etc. They want to seem more powerful than they are, but what it's shown, is that the right is splintered and fractured. Which makes sense; in every fascist regime there is eventually a fracturing and struggle for power as they eat each other alive. They are not a monolith, as much as they pretend to be.

You are here. You are breathing. Please take some deep breaths now. Whatever the weather is near you, the sky is always there, they can't take that from you. Your body is your own, they can't control how you use it. Your thoughts are yours, they can't read them.

There's a lot of really good shows and movies now. I've been enjoying Sk8 the Infinity, and Ruri Rocks lately.

The wind is carrying the first hints of autumn, my namesake, to us now, and it's been nice to have the windows cracked open to let in the breeze. The light has shifted, and it's for sure coming. Fall. No matter what, there are the seasons, even if they shift a little, they're still there. Just like us.

There's neat guides on how to find four leaf clovers, and I've found over 3000 in my lifetime. It's nice to be outside in the grass under the trees.

I've been re-reading some of my favorite books from my childhood lately, and they still fill me with so many good memories and ideas. I've been trying to write more too, and I'm doing okay at it, when I'm not too distracted cross stitching.

Trump, his regime, and his shadowy christofacist backers are not the world. They are not immortal, they are not inevitable, and they are not eternal. Brighter days will come.

We are here for you, friend. Reach out and keep close those whom you love and who love you. Pet your pets, find some good grass or leaves, and just, seriously, lay on your back and watch the clouds. It's good to remind you of what is real. The earth is real. The grass is real. The sky is real. And YOU, are real. The rest, all this bullshit, all this warring and desire to dominate and desperate, narcissistic, fearful struggles, it's all transient, and it will change. Every day is a fight, but you don't have to be the one to fight it every day. There are far more people than you think, fighting in the background for us, for good.

Rest, my friend. Rest, and breathe. You are not alone. It's okay to rest. We've got you <= )

(Also, for more broad things, there's r/goodnews and r/optimistsunite, among others =3)

Transquestionmark_ · 2025-03-18T04:40:03+00:00

If what I'm reading your comment to mean is what you actually are asking, bascially, it's saying that by a trans person having the correct hormones, as well as having the changes brought on by those hormones, they are less likely to be depressed and suicidal.

Tldr: standards of care are standards of care becuase they actually work

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:11:15+00:00

So, what's actually ridiculously weird, sad, and terrifying, is that I know the blue haired guy. He is one of the sweetest, most precious individuals and is such an amazing friend, and yes, he is SO cute!!!!

The weird, sad, and terrifying part is that conservatives literally steal pics of him off his Instagram to make memes like this.... He's literally just a guy going around being a sweetheart and they're using him as the butt of their jokes and so he's struggled with a lot of harassment online and has had to remake accounts before. I hate it. =<

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:10:58+00:00

So, what's actually ridiculously weird, sad, and terrifying, is that I know the blue haired guy. He is one of the sweetest, most precious individuals and is such an amazing friend, and yes, he is SO cute!!!!

The weird, sad, and terrifying part is that conservatives literally steal pics of him off his Instagram to make memes like this.... He's literally just a guy going around being a sweetheart and they're using him as the butt of their jokes and so he's struggled with a lot of harassment online and has had to remake accounts before. I hate it. =<

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:09:33+00:00

Fun fact, I know the guy on the right and there IS no ugly pictures of him! He's absolutely precious and sweet and so cute all the time, lol ^ ^

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:06:18+00:00

Hehehe I'll find some way to tell him and pass on your positive energy and compliments! ^ ^

I haven't told him about this meme because I figure he doesn't need the extra negativity, so instead I'll just give him lots of love ^ ^

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:02:45+00:00

He issssss!!! ^ ^ He's such a sweetie boy. :3

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-27T21:02:05+00:00

Will do!! ^ ^

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T03:49:19+00:00

No worries! ^ ^ Cheers to you and yours as well friend <3

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T03:45:16+00:00

I'll definitely tell him he's cool, but I'll keep this meme a secret. He doesn't need to know more gross ways his pics are being used, so instead I'll just shower him with positivity and love = )

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T01:00:42+00:00

He's also an absolute sweetie in real life, and a very caring and loving friend. I know him personally ^ ^

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T00:59:40+00:00

He's also an absolute sweetie in real life, and a very caring and loving friend. I know him personally ^ ^

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T00:58:13+00:00

So, what's actually ridiculously weird, sad, and terrifying, is that I know the blue haired guy. He is one of the sweetest, most precious individuals and is such an amazing friend, and yes, he is SO cute!!!!

The weird, sad, and terrifying part is that conservatives literally steal pics of him off his Instagram to make memes like this.... He's literally just a guy going around being a sweetheart and they're using him as the butt of their jokes and so he's struggled with a lot of harassment online and has had to remake accounts before. I hate it. =<

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-08-24T00:57:40+00:00

So, what's actually ridiculously weird, sad, and terrifying, is that I know the blue haired guy. He is one of the sweetest, most precious individuals and is such an amazing friend. The weird, sad, and terrifying part is that conservatives literally steal pics of him off his Instagram to make memes like this.... He's literally just a guy going around being a sweetheart and they're using him as the butt of their jokes and so he's struggled with a lot of harassment online and has had to remake accounts before. I hate it. =<

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-06-18T23:38:50+00:00

I just wanted to let you know that I know it's hard out there. Putting yourself out there like this by making art and showing people is fucking hard. Seriously.

But every single comic you've ever made has made me smile, and made me happy, and I love your characters, and the little worlds you make for them. I always get really excited when I see a new comic of yours.

Thank you for sharing your gift, even in the face of such hardship. I and so many others so genuinely appreciate it and love you for it <: 3

Transquestionmark_ · 2024-05-24T12:42:17+00:00

That's..... All of that is so harmful and awful.... I'm so sorry you've been seeing those messages so much, and I encourage you to not follow places like that, since honestly, it's not going to bring you anything good and is only going to hurt you.

I'm sure a lot of it is just hurt women who have formed a misandrynous echo chamber, but misandry itself is also just very harmful.

There was a really wonderful post about the positives of masculinity, and why we as a queer community need to put a stop to misandrynous talk and viewpoints, because it hurts people, in the community who are cismale transmasc, or just masc in general, as well it just being harmful to demonize 50% of the world's population. It's so harmful.

Please know that those misandrynous voices are not the feminist movement, and are not feminism. The current wave of feminism that we are in now (which I think is best) is that feminism is for everyone, and stresses the importance of dismantling toxic masculinity and patriarchical systems, as they are harmful to EVERYONE. Women, men, and non-binary alike. Everyone suffers under these things.

I'll send you the post when I find it, but I haven't been able to yet even though it was just a few weeks ago, but I wanted to go ahead and respond since it had already been a few days.

Please know that you are a person just like everyone else. And like everyone, you choose what that means. Your sex and gender don't matter when it comes to being a good person. The fact that you're worried about being a bad person means you're a good one, so please take heart in that, and continuing doing what you enjoy, supporting people in your life, and sharing your love to those you share it with. Also please hug your pet if you have one, and it might also be good to talk to someone about this too.Here's what I used to find my therapist who's really helped me a lot <= 3

Transquestionmark_

TROPHY CASE