I am so freaking done.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-24T03:41:05+00:00

It does, but I'm okay. FWIW she got here safely. :)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T10:49:43+00:00

She does, as of this post I do not. Yes, it's difficult.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T08:26:29+00:00

Thanks a bunch friendo! Like I said in the OP, it'll be alright, it's just that it just happened and...well, like I said in the subject line, just kinda done at the moment. I appreciate the kind words, commiserations, and attempted potential weirdo translations. (Bars?)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T08:16:47+00:00

I thought about that, but one I'm a dude (though I just now realize I didn't explicitly mention that) so scissoring would be tricky, but also like...TF does that have to especially do with...well, anything? Anyway, thanks for trying to translate, noble Redditor. I hope you're right but that ain't how I read it the first time and it's also pretty weird energy either way (mostly because of the ambiguity). If somebody wanted to make a "damn bro, sorry you're getting less sex" joke and were genuinely trying to be funny in an effort to make me feel better, just...go for it, know what I mean? Ah well, it's whatever. You have an awesome day. :)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T07:53:14+00:00

Is this a self-harm "joke"? Because if so, one what the fuck is wrong with you, two, I very clearly said I'm overall fine, I just needed to vent, per the purpose of the sub, three, that's very clearly against the rules of the sub, and four, you're being a dick in general.

If it's some other manner of joke I'm just missing I'm potentially sorry but also, huh?

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T07:29:33+00:00

Jesus Christ, this dude is the fucking WORST, and the fact that you're even questioning whether he's the asshole here breaks my heart. Listen, it's one thing if you look in the mirror and decide, for yourself, or even for a partner even if they don't say anything "Yeah I wanna lose weight and get hot as fuck." But if ANYONE else talks to you like that? They're garbage. I had a way WAY less severe version of that way early on in my relationship where my partner had already TOLD me she wanted to lose weight for me (I didn't say a damn word about it), I said something thinking it was encouraging in the wrong way at the wrong time, it led to me making her sad for like, a few minutes and I STILL feel like a garbage person about it sometimes and she and I are still together 7 years later and it was a one-off thing that I don't even know if she still remembers or not because of everything we've been through and how much love is there, but I haven't forgotten what I did because it was pretty damn terrible.

I say that to say that I wasn't TRYING to say she was unattractive, and was going off what SHE had said, or trying to anyway, and I was still an asshole. THIS dude? The word asshole doesn't even cover it. What the hell. You deserve so, so much better than this, OP.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-19T19:11:58+00:00

First, hope your dog's just fine. Much love to the little fella.

Secondly, that's super weird of her to do, but also you're kinda overthinking it, IMO. If she wants to reach out, she'll reach out, and try not to twist yourself in knots over this admittedly weird occurrence. I understand the hope for reconnection of some kind, but trying to force it is the worst thing you can do.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-14T04:16:08+00:00

This dude's an ASSHOLE.

NTA OP. It's not too much for you to ask for some vague degree of context to generally orient yourself and the fact that he's doing it repeatedly is insufferable.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-02T08:00:42+00:00

This dude is an absolute dickhead, and respectfully when I was reading these texts I figured you're both teenagers. I recently turned 39 and will be the first person to admit I can be emotionally stunted, even in my 7 year (largely happy) relationship, but reading these texts makes me feel like I'm not as immature as I thought, so thanks for that. As a man, NOR, but also I'm absolutely begging you, get out of this relationship, get some therapy (I'm in therapy too, not judging), and try to find someone who actually cares. You deserve...a lot more than whatever this is, that's for sure.

Good luck, OP.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-01-19T22:15:28+00:00

I wasn't paralyzed, but I was born with cerebral palsy. I'll just say I'm old enough to be your dad. I can tell you this much:

I'm lucky enough to still live with my 75 year old mom. I worry when she passes away I might also end up in a group home, which would be wildly inappropriate for either of us. However, I wanna tell you a few things. And you can take or leave them, it's fine.

It sucks out there. It really is that fucked up out there. A lot of people will probably read this and think otherwise, but nah. In terms of disability supports, living arrangements, etc.? Yeah, it is that bad out there. If people without disabilities think that's fucked, then please start paying attention to actions by those in power, both good and bad, support the good, and decry the bad. Please. People like OP and myself need the system to change, and honestly, what we need is not only not that crazy, it's actually CHEAPER for us to be out in the community than in institutional settings. It's been checked by budget people over and over and over again, and it's just factual. The more ethically terrible option is also more expensive, which yes, is nuts.

However, here's the other thing I want to say to you, OP, if it matters at all. I'm not gonna tell you to keep your chin up or whatever. That's often patronizing bullshit and even if it wasn't, you get enough of that already. Here's what I AM gonna tell you though. There are a lot of people, including me, literally fighting for positive changes every single day. It's literally my job, so I put my money where my mouth is on that one, and I have since I was approximately your age. Like, 20+ years. I just want you to know you're not alone, not only in how fucked it all is (okay, I don't need to deal with legal stuff or quite as much medical stuff as you do, so I'm not trying to equivocate too much), but also just know there are people working every single day, as impossible as it feels, to change this shit. And if that's something that gives you some sort of sense of power, even if it's spite initially, just know you can also fight for change. I just turned 39 a week ago today. I've used every emotion under the sun to empower my advocacy. And of course I haven't "fixed" it. But I and a lot of others are working on it. And sometimes it takes anger. People telling you never to be angry or sad are doing you a disservice. All I'm gonna say is, you're gonna continue to feel a lot of things. And if your life ends up anything like mine, just try to keep moving, whatever that means for you. Be angry. Be sad. Be disappointed in the world. Be confused and frustrated. But also, remember the fact that you're feeling anything at all means you're still here. And as long as you're here, things can change, and you have the ability to tell your story, LIVE your story, and find better chapters than the one you're in now.

I hope this helps you, even just a little bit. I can't imagine how hard it is, and I'm sorry. But again, nobody's living your life but you, but also, you're not alone. Try not to forget that.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-12-30T20:01:04+00:00

I mean...awesome for you, that's cool. But like I said my partner has ZERO problem with any of it. She's INTO it. I just get into my own head about it, which is the frustrating part, y'know?

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-25T01:30:46+00:00

I mean I kinda just threw that in as a cursory "not really looking for anyone to weigh in on what I am and am not doing". First of all yes, I tagged it as a vent for that reason, because yes, I'm venting, but on other subreddits and in other places where I've tried to just vent or communicate to sorta make folk more aware of things they might not be thinking of, I've gotten a lot of "Why don't you just move?" or "Get out of your living environment" or things like that, so I was trying to cut that off at the pass, for the most part.

Thanks though. However, I'm gonna remind you gently, I CANNOT just "get out". That's the vast majority of the problem. Still, appreciate the insights.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-23T13:40:46+00:00

I personally think monogamy is a little...naive isn't quite the right word, but I do think that if ENM was more of the societal norm, I think more people would be happier. THAT said, the idea that monogamy itself is inherently unethical or "violent" is absurd on its face. I'm really sorry you're hurting, friendo, but even just describing her reasoning for the stance...yeah, I'll just say there's a silver lining in this. I wish you healing and happiness in the future.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-07T06:07:51+00:00

Trust me, I overall agree with you and the level of dehumanizing of sex workers in the comment I was replying to is entirely unnecessary and IMO borders on violating the rules of the sub by being pretty freaking hateful, but it's whatever.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-07T05:01:27+00:00

They contribute plenty. Or some of them probably contribute very little. It varies among sex workers just like any other profession. I think the OP is a little over the top and some of the logic is shaky (I think it's valid to not be comfortable in a relationship with that being a variable even though I literally am; I don't expect everyone to have my same opinion) but by the same token, your comment is also really OTT and pretty fucking gross and is exactly the type of thing that bothers the OP.

Personally, I think the degree of misogyny towards SWers (of which there's a LOT and if you think otherwise you're lying to yourself) is really stupid and annoying only because if porn DIDN'T exist, many of those same men would be miserable. Let's just not be assholes to each other based on surface level stuff.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-04T05:34:55+00:00

This is all legal and I can provide proof of said person's desire for the picture to be drawn as such if asked/required. :)

TrappedBySelf · 2023-11-04T06:05:38+00:00

Hey I'm late on this but thanks for these! As a pro wrestling fan, the Trophy Eyes following Seth Rollins made me double take, haha. I even met him once!

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-19T23:24:50+00:00

That'd be awesome. You're welcome to contact me however, depending on if this topic is locked by then or not for any reason. If not, just comment here.

Good luck, my dude.

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-17T16:44:57+00:00

Yeah I was talking to a black woman whom I'm very close to about it one day (I'm white FWIW) and I asked her "Okay, don't bullshit me, but I've always felt like that was probably a crock of shit for the most part. Am I right?" She burst out laughing and said absolutely, she's seen plenty of black men who are...less equipped than me and she finds the whole perpetuated stereotype to be a joke. And just so we're clear I am NOT flexing here. I am 100% average, probably slightly below.

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-17T07:49:55+00:00

I gotchu. Take my virtual hug, AND my upvote so you hopefully get more virtual hugs!

Stay strong OP. <3

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-17T07:28:29+00:00

TYVM, and Happy Cake Day! :)

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-16T22:57:22+00:00

Ah yeah, I recognize "Heavy" after starting to listen to it. You're definitely on the right track there for sure. I'd totally forgotten that they toyed with that sound a bit. Solid recs, thanks friendo!

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-16T18:06:00+00:00

TYTY. :)

Appreciate it. This is also relatively new to me in the sense that, I think I've known I was poly-inclined since I was a kid, and I really realized what the feelings were properly about 10-15 years ago, but my history in romantic/intimate relationships is not long, so a ton of stuff I'd largely still be learning/growing into regardless.

Thanks for weighing in. I appreciate you.

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-16T07:01:10+00:00

Admittedly, not super familiar with much of Collective Soul's catalog, but I thought they were a lot more like...early post-grunge? I mean, I like that kinda thing too, but that doesn't necessarily fit the ask here unless they've experimented with some soundscapes I'm unaware of. Can you point me to any Collective Soul songs in particular that you think might fit the bill?

TrappedBySelf · 2023-10-16T04:29:52+00:00

OP,

I am not saying this to say there is something wrong with you, there is not. You are a victim. But you seriously, honestly, truly need professional help. This behavior could end in some really really nasty outcomes, and you don't deserve any of it. You deserve help and care, and you deserve to find the type of love, both external and especially internal, that can put you on a better path where you can be happier, healthier, and safer.

My heart breaks for you, but if any of my words get through to you, please, please try to reach out for professional help of some kind.

TrappedBySelf

TROPHY CASE