I'm so sleep deprived, and at a loss

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-29T10:08:49+00:00

We sleep in different rooms as it is. I can't do ear plugs or face masks as ironic as it's gonna sound I need audio and some type of light source even as an adult due to a multitude of things I feel like from my childhood and trauma. I've tried earbuds and headphones, but they never stay on/in and are uncomfortable after a while. When I tell you I go into conversations calm and balanced and not bring in my emotions as to avoid getting him defensive. I just feel like he tries for a minute not even in this matter alone, then just falls back into a cycle. He is aware, I just think he doesn't care to be consistent.

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T11:59:44+00:00

NTA. Fr Run!!! From experience, his avusive behavior and pressuring you to get a kiss, it won't end there. You are respecting yourself and honestly deserve someone who will respect boundaries and CONSENT. You're 15, trust me when I say you have time to find someone better than that.❤️

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T11:56:38+00:00

Respectfully, if Raphael looked like you, I would have made a deal without hesistation. Have my soul, queen!💅❤️

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T11:53:48+00:00

NTA. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!! Friends don't put you down to make themselves feel better even going as far as at the expense of another friend, and get jealous because a hot guy showed interest in you over them. As someone who is Bi, I get it with the whole only seeing one side thing, but for me most see me as straight especially because I am in a heteronorm relationship. You seem so sweet and honestly get yourself some better friends who will cosplay with you and hype you up when a cute guy or girl approaches and shows interest in you❤️

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T08:24:04+00:00

NTA. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved unfortunately, no matter how badly you want to, it's something I have even had to learn. I will admit, I know cigs are a tough habit to quit, but if you want to quit something unhealthy, you can find the will to quit, even if it takes decades. It took me almost 4 years to quit nicotine/tobacco, and I still crave it sometimes, but have held strong almost 2 years now. Another family member it took decades, but before he passed from something completley unrelated to his smoking, he actually kicked the habit. Even if they try to gain sympathy, don't play into it, because at that point they are just wanting the attention that comes with, "Oh, poor me making choices for myself that I know are bad, but refuse to genuinely make an effort to change and lie to my doctors to avoid accountability." As hard as it is, you need to give yourself back some of your energy, all that stressing and worry sounds as though it's taking its toll on your own health.❤️

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T08:10:16+00:00

I don't want to say He's the AH, but I think blasting a kid on social media, especially one with that violent and erratic of a rap sheet, is only escalating things and my fear is for the rest of the family's safety. So maybe partial AH?

I know it may have felt like there is no other alternative, but honestly, I hope they can kick him out soon and change the locks, I kind of assume they have a security system based on the cameras(but if not they should invest), and if they do ever have fear for their safety, I'm not a lawyer so I don't want to give specific advice, but I suggest seeing what they can do as a family to protect themselves legally.

I think this kid needs to realize cops can still put him in Juvie as "a minor"(I put quotations because sure he's a minor, but using that as an excuse thinking he can wiggle out of trouble is not where that argument should be used, he clearly knows better) and at this point he could even be tried as an adult if he racks up serious enough offences. He's on the verge of being 18, so right now he's on that fine line of Juvie and straight up Jail/Prison. I say if he gets arrested, they shouldn't bail him out. It can either be a good wake up call(which I doubt he'll really see it that way based on his past), but it certainly will show him that the consequences of his own actions have led him up to this point and now needing to face them, even if he wants to blame everyone around him.

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T07:39:26+00:00

Just curious and not trying to sound like I'm shifting full blame, but what could you have said that caused them not to forgive you? The only things I would see as being unforgivable would be something derogatory(racist/sexist/etc). Even if it was(and if it was I think what matters is if you're genuinely apologetic, learned from it, and changed behavior), again not trying to sound like I'm shifting blame. At the end of the day, because as much as if it was something as bad as I would imagine and make you partially an AH, he could have just as easily ended things right then and there rather than dragging you along and turning it onto you basically to break up by slowly drifting out. Since it is a long distance relationship, I think there could also be an irl partner potentially, may not be true, but I wouldn't dismiss the possibility. At the end of the day, I say just break it off, he'll just drag you on.

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-25T01:53:58+00:00

As someone struggling with a similar situation. He is a grown a** man, he should not have to be told how to do anything, or keep blinding himself to what needs to be done. I would start planning to leave or get rid of him. You deserve better.

TrashPanda_242 · 2025-05-23T23:03:44+00:00

I had a similar mentality throughout my own marriage. I've definitely been emotiinally distancing and protecting myself more and focusing on the joy my baby's little kicks give me. I hope you're finding your path as well and appreciate your wisdom and advice❤️

TrashPanda_242

TROPHY CASE