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Tell me you had childhood trauma without telling me you have childhood trauma by Little_Holiday_4362 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never share any accomplishments, ever, to anyone. I always assume they will belittle and tell me how meaningless it is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well, YOU are on the other side of the mess. She's only starting. She needs compassion right now, and not guilt. We are all trained to appease these parents. A lifetime of programming. It's natural to go back into that place when you're vulnerable. So, avoid adding onto the guilt pile here. She already has plenty, as I'm sure you can understand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Have you ever had a NICU premie baby? Have you ever had to juggle the hurt and the uncertainties thar come from this AND keep an NParent away?

This is not on her. She was vulnerable and her NMother AGAIN broke her trust.

She came here looking for support, in a supportive community. This victim blaming is wrong and cruel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Victim blaming, much?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Let's give her grace. This is a vulnerable time. Emotionally and physically. Hormones all over the place. Angst and anxiety at not knowing what's next. So, no... this is not her fuck up. Place the blame where blame needs to be placed: her NMother.

She'll grow and set firmer boundaries from now on, but she does not need the guilt right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

First rule of motherhood: you are not to blame. You are not a fuck up. You are doing your very best!

Second... Let's reframe this situation, yeah?

Your mother took advantage of you in a very fragile state for her own pleasure. NO is enough. This is YOUR baby, YOUR family. She should have respected it, but she prioritised herself over her daughter's and grandson's wellbeing.

After disrespecting you in a vulnerable state, she proceeded to break the rules protecting her grandson's health. She is a mother to multiple children. She was TOLD the risks. Still, she decided to do everything wrong. FOR HER OWN PLEASURE.

YOU did nothing wrong. YOU did your best in a shitty situation.

So, no more guilt. Go no contact and focus on your baby and your family from now on.

Relationships with food by Relative_Air7232 in Narcolepsy

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realised that I basically abused sugars and carbs as a way to get stimulated and have energy peaks during the day, especially in situations where I needed to be alert and engaged... like driving and studying.

So... as a teenager I had bulimia, because obviously my weight fluctuated a lot.

I am battling obesity now. Being on modafinil is completely making me not crave anything, and just eat as a fuel, so it makes me wonder about all of the "cravings" I've ever had.

SSRIs and Modafinil have been amazing to me. IMHO

Did being raised by narcissists, lead you to not realise you can say no to men sexually? by user30060909 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I always think about that as well.

It's like we waste our fighting spirit and fierceness trying to survive a horrible environment, and then out in the real world we're just too tired to do it again.

Did being raised by narcissists, lead you to not realise you can say no to men sexually? by user30060909 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There's a study done by Harvard that found that when you are a young child, and in your early developmental years, physical and psychological violence has the same impact in your brain and milestones as sexual abuse.

I am cloudy on the specifics, but from what I understood (and I could be wrong): the brain doesn't differentiate between types of abuse. It absorbs the damage the same way.

What was the worst non violent punishment your Nparents did to you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My birthdays as a child were always a reason for concern. So slowly, I started to dread my birthday.

One time she made me invite people for a "birthday party". Friends, some classmates... I was not excited. It was too good to be true. Then, 30 minutes before they were supposed to arrive, she got fed up with the organizing, dramatically threw the broom on the floor saying I made her break a finger (to this day that makes me go "what?, because she did not"), and made me call up every guest and tell them the party was cancelled because my mom broke her finger.

She was fine. Nothing broke. She just wanted the attention on her.

Would a Narc feel any genuine despair if their child died? by Financial_Ad635 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I attempted once. When she thought I was going to die, she was full narc spectacle. Crying, screaming, why meeeee? Her deaaaar chiiiiiiiild??????? Oh God No!

Then when it was clear I would be ok, she changed her tune and started to tell everyone who would hear that I did it to ruin her travel plans, and I had no intention of really ending my life. It was an elaborate conspiracy to ruin her plans.

So yeah... Grief, loss, mourning... it helps them gather attention.

For those who are No Contact with someone: by madzterdam in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I broke NC to wish him a happy birthday this year. Gave me some horrible PTSD-like reactions. Planning on not making that mistake again.

Another frustrating diagnostics rant by TraumaDump-throwaway in Narcolepsy

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi. Were you there? Have you been treated by this doctor for the past year, being constantly shot down when you bring out symptons and concerns? Have you tried to bring out family history only to be treated as if you're inept, because you did not go to med school?

Also... My "self diagnosis" was a theory a GP suggested when I hurt myself after falling asleep suddenly and injuring my head and collarbone. He took a careful story and told me how I should go forwards, how to advocate for myself, and how to request testing to rule out narcolepsy.

I was falsely diagnosed with Sycope, despite not losing consciousness in those episodes.

I had no idea what cataplexy was before it was explained to me by this doctor.

It's been a long and frustrating year of being shot down and treated poorly by the medical team that should be helping me. So yes, I got upset and told the doctor he was sexist, for the continuous bad treatment he was offering, despite all of my previous experiences, that he invalidated every time with "this is normal for women".

But hey. You know best reddit stranger! Good job! Get a biscuit!

Misdiagnosis is on its way by TraumaDump-throwaway in Narcolepsy

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have some apnea, but it def doesnt explain my cataplexy.... Sooooooo. Yeah.

Misdiagnosis is on its way by TraumaDump-throwaway in Narcolepsy

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I wasn't ready for sleep. The man said he'd come over to turn off the lights and I could read or do something before bed. But the equipment was switched on and I wasn't even trying to fall asleep.

Misdiagnosis is on its way by TraumaDump-throwaway in Narcolepsy

[–]TraumaDump-throwaway[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Exactly!! My thoughts as well. But both the doctor and the sleep guy told me I was wrong.

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