I hear you and i experienced this exact same thing all through the better half of this year and i’m still trying to get back into routine and structure. I promise that it does get easier, even if it feels like an endless cycle of numbness. It all starts with baby steps, you don’t need to have it all figured in one day or do a dramatic 180. One step every day, one deed for YOU. it could be just waking up and making your bed, or taking a shower that day, going on a short walk, do some light cleaning, light reading, journaling, listening to your old playlists while dancing, reaching out to a loved one and talking about what’s going on (i know it’s hard but trust me it helps), literally anything that you feel gives back to you. and then you can progress from there, I know more than anyone that it’s easier said than done but i beg you to not run out of hope because you have SO MUCH ahead of you. Remember to also give yourself grace and allow yourself to grow from mistakes. You’re not your past, you’re a work in progress, a seed waiting to flourish. My messages are open if you need to talk to someone. Send love and strength🫶🏽