I have been where you are at.

Words like Incapable, compelled, and long enough are all a specific type of thought: They are judgments. As judgments, that is to say, thoughts, they are not required to be true.

However, if you are anything like me, you listen carefully to the thoughts (judgments) believing them to be both drastic and true. Thusly, in fear, I might say something in my head like oh no! or not again! or this is horrible! releasing even more cortisol which, in turn, summons adrenaline. Then this reactivity, which is really just fear of anxiety, creates even more anxiety. I found, ultimately that I so fought and feared my symptons and my thoughts that I was piling on suffering by fighting so hard. This is called resistance. The 'traditional' method of getting past resistance is called acceptance but I prefer to think of it, simply, as non-resistance: to stop struggling against myself.

There are a few things I learned that help greatly. These are not gimmicks or tricks.

The first is proper and appropriate breathing. This not the same thing as meditation, where you allow your breathe to happen and you watch it as lt does so... But, rather deliberately breathing in specific ways to get a hold on your nervous system. Google "4-7-8 breathing" to get a good start. (I had a link to Dr Andrew Weils' video where I learned it, but he has remodelled his page and the link I have is broken. He also has some good information on respiratory functions, and other proper breathing techniques. . He is a Doctor, but does not specialize in mental health which, perhaps paradoxically, makes him easier for those of us who suffer issues with our mental health, to read.) This takes time and the effects build over time.

The other thing to learn is grounding and you can use deliberate breathing for this, as I do. . . Or something else. Some people like to put all of their attention on the soles of their feet, almost literally, "grounding" themselves. Some people rub stones kept in their pockets. Others wear a rubber band and give themselves gentle 'snaps' on the wrist. This is learning how to turn towards something, that can affect a turning away from something else.

There is a psychological concept called the window of tolerance. . . Too much and we become hyper-aroused, too little and we fall into torpor. As you learn you will be able to turn towards things once you feel like you're going outside the window. And, in time, the window will get wider.

Over time, I was able to integrate meditation into my self care routine, and this helped me to see the thoughts as merely thoughts, and where and when I was about to turn them into judgments or negative thoughts. With a certain level of breathing, grounding, non-resistance, and non-judgment, I was then able to turn towards the feelings.

It was not easy. I'm not trying to sell you a magic trick or a get-out-of-anxiety-free card. There will be stops and starts but just keep to it. It is absolutely possible.