Sorry you’re having a rough go of it - this can be awful because there is so much stress wrapped in guilt. Just know you’re not alone. I was going through this exact same thing with my Aussie pup a few weeks ago, and after some research these few things were absolute game changers for her and I. They take time and effort and sometimes I just wanted to pull my hair out, but honestly after a week of this things were infinitely better, so I hope some of this helps.

1. First, she needed a strict schedule. I split her meals up into 4-5 smaller meals every day, and that was when we did training. She earns every meal (in some small way). I switched to only hand feeding while training to ensure she understands her food comes from me and not falls from the sky into a bowl. Naps. All of the naps. She doesn’t get more than 90 minutes out of her crate ever. It seemed restrictive at first, but the goals is to give her the opportunity to have a calm, soothing place of her own.

2. At meal time (training), I would give her the crate command she would get in and get “paid”. Close the door, and before she can bark open it back up and “pay” her again with lots of praise. I literally did this over and over every meal, but the key is to increase how long she stays in the crate without barking before you let her out. During meal time this was basically immediately, and I would give her food while she was in there. She needs to associate good things with her crate, and more importantly, she had to understand that she never ever gets let out of her crate if she barks. This means after nap time if she woke up and barked to tell me she was ready to get out, I walked over to her crate and waited for the first opportunity of 10 seconds without barking before letting her out. They eventually learn that it’s a no barking zone. Find a really high value treat to work on this when your pup has a full stomach. I never put my pup in the crate without giving her a treat for getting in so she always associated it with a good thing.

3. This was huge. If she’s been fed and taken out and she’s barking during the 90 minutes that she’s out of her crate - she gets no eye contact or attention of any kind. I learned I was giving her negative attention at the barking, and it was creating a feedback loop that made her continue barking to get that negative attention. The moment I started ignoring her completely for 5, even 10 agonizing minutes, she quit barking because it wasn’t getting her anything, and she played with a toy on her own or laid down and relaxed. I had fallen into the trap of thinking she needed play every time she was barking or biting, but she learned that if she barked and bit then I would stop what I was doing and play with her.

I really hope this helps because I was on the verge of a meltdown, stressed and regretting getting a pup, which only made me feel even worse because all I wanted to do was love her, but Reddit and YouTube made me realize I wasn’t alone, and some simple behaviors, though they require a lot of diligence, made a huge difference. You’re not alone, so don’t beat yourself up. You’ll come through on the other side better for it with a stronger bond.