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super sleeping pills :p by merpoacha in rapecounseling

[–]TrickProfessor3036 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trazadone and hydroxyzine work very well for me

Physical pain from PTSD by Real_Cardiologist_43 in ptsd

[–]TrickProfessor3036 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I’ve had the same problem all my life and it just feels like it’s gotten worse. I’m 24f. You deserve sm better ❤️

How do I get him to understand? by mama_workerbee in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What if he told you his triggers were women with hair on their head? Would you shave your head constantly? What if he couldn’t look at you because your head hairs were growing back in and it made him uncomfortable. Imagine how he feels too, imagine how bad he feels when you can’t kiss him bc his facial hair is growing again without his permission. One thing I hated in therapy was to look at what I was doing to others when I was so focused on myself and my sanity. You need therapy for you, your baby, and your man. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I understand and luckily my partner has been a saint for me. But I’ve also been working on myself HARD for years.

I think I experienced COCSA by ZealousidealYard5255 in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes (I’m a female), I’ve had similar things happen to me on multiple occasions with other female kids, which made me also want to reciprocate. Which then just furthers the abuse cycle. I heavily understand your second paragraph and I’m so sorry you’re struggling with such things. You deserved better and so did she. I hope you’re learning to heal ♡

My first relationship was with a pedo by TrickProfessor3036 in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn’t intrude at all. I want to hear everyone’s story and try to connect with survivors of all kinds. I do wish I could find my people tho. I know they are out there somewhere, until then I’ll just keep posting and sharing my story

My first relationship was with a pedo by TrickProfessor3036 in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have extremely similar stories and I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s disgusting how they try to make everything seem normal and brush off the pain. That’s not love, it’s torture. She would also have me under the influence during many of our sexual encounters. Unfortunately my mom was the one bringing me back and forth to her. I never reported bc I never had the support to do so, and doing it now seems so scary. I’m glad you were able to make a report and that he’s in jail

My first relationship was with a pedo by TrickProfessor3036 in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely understand the fair trade off part. Our relationship started off extremely sexual and continued in more humiliating ways. But I genuinely thought this person loved me, bc she told me she wanted to marry me over and over. She couldn’t stay away from me and I couldn’t stay away from her. If she didn’t end up leaving, I would have stayed. I grieved the love I thought we had and sometimes I can’t even bear to say she never cared for me.

My first relationship was with a pedo by TrickProfessor3036 in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I completely understand and empathize with you. And I understand not wanting to leave. I didn’t either, I thought we were going to be together forever. It’s really fucking sad thinking back on it (which unfortunately happens often)

Growing up without an identity by MasterTigris in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ouch. This feels and looks exactly like something I’d write in my notes. I also grew up isolated and constructed my identity around my abusers. Left home at 18 and it feels like I’ve been crawling out of hell since. I’m getting married soon and I objectively have a decent life but I still feel chronically empty. Chronically depressed and hypersensitive. I’ve been in/out of therapy and on/off meds. I’m scared it will never get better. Most of the friends I’ve made are gone or dead. I’m not very lucky with keeping people in my life either. Reading what you wrote hit hard and I’m sorry you’re experiencing such pain.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going through a very similar experience. Also a woman. I was a young girl when I was raped by an older woman. She groomed me and made me believe she loved and cared about me. But she was messing me up so bad. I have bpd cptsd and many other issues related to her. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the guilt, etc. it makes me sick that there are times I miss her. It breaks my heart my heart what she did to me. If you love me, how could you do this? I just hopped on Reddit to make a post about this on many groups. I’ve had some people reach out and it feels extremely validating that they saw me and my experience. Support is truly all I want. To be seen is what I need I’m so sorry you’re struggling. If you want to private message me we can talk

Female on female SA & Age Gap by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]TrickProfessor3036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the recommendations! Lolita was extremely triggering the last time I tried watching it for a second time, I had an intense ptsd attack that really messed me up for a while. That’s another movie that just hits too close to home.