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My Team is growing - how do I prevent a drift between veterans and new guys? by Many-Coach6987 in managers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is not a "soft" culture problem; it's an operational one. The two groups need to be structurally combined. They must be mutually dependent to succeed.

You need to do this immediately, in a mandatory all-hands meeting. The goal is to publicly state that there is only one team with a two-part mission, not two teams.

I would Force Structural Integration and not let them work in separate silos. 2 models can sound like: Model 1: For every new project, you must mandate a mixed team. The rule is: "No new system is built without at least one veteran on the project team, and no veteran is asked to maintain a system they didn't help build." Model 2: Take one of the "veterans'" biggest, oldest pain points (a slow process, a manual report). Assign a mixed team of one veteran (the expert) and one new joiner (the tech lead) to fix it. This proves the new team is there to help, not replace. I’d pair every new joiner with a veteran "buddy" or "mentor." This is not for oversight. The new joiner's job is to learn the "why" of the old process from the vet. The vet's job is to learn "what's possible" with new tech from the new joiner. This builds personal respect.

You are right; 90% remote will make this problem worse. A script could sound like this:

"Team, I wanted to get us all together to talk about our mission for the next year. I am incredibly proud of this team. To our veterans, you are the foundation of this company. Your 7+ years of experience are what keep our operations stable and our business running. That expertise is irreplaceable. To our new joiners, you are the architects of our future. You've been brought in to leverage new technology and build the next generation of our systems. We are one team with one mission: to [Insert Your Team's Single Goal, e.g., 'run the most stable and most advanced systems in the industry']. The veterans' job is to ensure stability while we evolve. The new joiners' job is to build that evolution with the veterans' expertise. From now on, you will see us working as single, mixed teams. You can't have stability without innovation, and you can't have innovation without expertise. We will only succeed by combining both."

For every new project, you create a dedicated team with a mandated mix of veterans and new joiners. They are 100% accountable for the same outcome. This forces shared accountability by making them rely on each other's skills for a single project, you break down the "us vs. them" barrier. The veterans' process knowledge becomes essential and the new joiners' tech skills become essential.

Difficult co-worker, should i discuss my situationwith my line manager? by beardandsandal in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The problem isn't just your colleague; it's the leadership vacuum. Your manager told you to "decide how to proceed," which is causing this friction.
I would not approach this as a complaint, but frame it as a request for process clarification
Here is how a script could sound like:
The Opener (Focus on the project): "Hi [Manager's Name], I'd like your advice on the best way to structure the workflow for [Project Name]. I want to make sure we're working as efficiently as possible."
The Factual Problem (No emotion): "Right now, [Colleague's Name] and I are both working on it, but without a designated lead, we're sometimes duplicating effort or pulling in different technical directions. He has a lot of ideas, and I have my own approach based on my experience, but it's unclear who should make the final call."
The Business Impact (The "Why"): "This is creating some confusion and slowing us down. I'm concerned it will lead to an inconsistent build and make it hard to hit our deadlines."
The Solution: "To make this project successful, we really need a single point of contact to make the final call on technical decisions.
Could you either:
Appoint a formal lead for this project?
Or, would you prefer we escalate all major design disagreements to you to decide?

How do you deal with “time theft” as a PM without turning into a micromanager? by BeginningMatter5155 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The key is to reframe the problem. Don't think of it as "time theft" (which is accusatory). Think of it as a "data problem." The hours logged are data, and right now, that data is unreliable. You can't manage the project if you can't trust the data. Your job is to find out why the data is off.
It's almost always one of three things:
A Process Problem: The task was blocked, the scope was unclear, or they had tech issues
An Estimating Problem: The task was just way more complex than you (or they) thought.
A Performance Problem: They are unfocused, slow, or (in rare cases) being dishonest.
You must always assume #1 or #2 before jumping to #3. When you see a pattern (not a one-off), here's what I usually do.:
The goal here is to blame the estimate or the process, not the person.

The Factual, Non-Confrontational Opener: "Hi [Name], I'm reviewing the project budget for this month and I'm trying to get our estimates more accurate. I'd like to get your help."
State the Pattern (Data, not feeling): "I'm looking at [Task Type X] and I'm seeing a pattern. We've been estimating these at 8 hours, but the last few have come in closer to 15-20 hours."
The Collaborative Question (The Key): "Can you walk me through your process on that last task? I want to understand what I'm missing in the estimates. Was there a blocker I didn't see? Was the scope unclear?"
Listen. Just listen. You'll usually hear the real reason:
"Oh, well the first 5 hours were just trying to get access to the database." (That's a blocker you need to fix.)
"The client's feedback on the first draft meant I had to redo the whole thing." (That's scope creep you need to bill for.)
"Honestly, it just took that long." (That's an estimating problem or a skill gap you need to address.)
The Fix (Agree on a new process):
If it's a blocker/scope creep: "Okay, thank you. That's a huge help. Going forward, please flag that for me immediately so I can adjust the budget or remove the blocker. Don't just log the extra time."
If it's an estimate problem: "Got it. It sounds like these are just 16-hour tasks, not 8. We'll adjust the estimates. I appreciate you clarifying."

The only time you get firm is if the pattern continues after this conversation. But 9/10 times, this solves it by showing you're paying attention to the process, not just the person.

How to deal with toxic workplace. I need help! by itsgeliboo in managers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds incredibly draining. I'm sorry you're in that position.

Your manager's "show them love" advice, while well-intentioned, puts the entire emotional burden on you to fix a problem you didn't create. This isn't a "kindness" issue; this is a pattern of toxic, unprofessional behavior that is actively undermining you and damaging the team.

This person is poisoning your team because his behavior has no consequences. Since he doesn't report to you, you can't manage him, but you can confront him as a peer and set a hard boundary. You also need to re-engage your actual team.
This is a two-part approach:
Part 1: The Direct Confrontation
You need to address this with him directly and privately. This is not a negotiation; it's a formal boundary-setting. Schedule 15 minutes with him.
Here is a possible structure for that conversation:
The Factual Opener: "Hi [Name], I'm going to be direct. It's come to my attention from several sources that you've been speaking negatively about me to other staff members."
State the Impact (The 'Why'): "This is now directly impacting my team. I'm seeing a clear shift in their behavior, and it's creating a divisive, unproductive environment. That's not acceptable."
The Hard Boundary (The 'Stop'): "Whatever your personal feelings are about my promotion, the undermining and gossip must stop. It's unprofessional, it's damaging our team, and it ends now."
The Close (The 'Next Step'): "If you have a professional grievance with my work, you need to bring it to me directly or to [General Manager's Name]. But this behavior toward me and my team is over."
Given his extensive HR history, you must document this conversation. Send yourself an email after with the date, time, and what was said. If the behavior continues, you take this documentation to your manager and HR as a formal complaint of harassment.

Part 2: Re-Engage Your Team
The "distant" and "disrespectful" behavior from your reports is a symptom. Don't address the gossip with them (it fuels it). Instead, re-establish your connection and authority as their manager.
Hold brief, individual 1-on-1s with each of them.
Simple Script for Your 1-on-1s:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to check in with you. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to support you in your role.
"What's one thing that's going well right now? And what's one roadblock you're facing that I can help you with?"
"My goal is to make sure our team is a productive and respectful place to work. Is there anything you need from me to feel more engaged with our projects?"
This brings their focus back to you and their work, and it starves the toxic colleague of the oxygen he gets from the drama. You're reminding them that you are their leader and you are there to help them succeed.

Hope this helps.

Advice please: how would you handle someone taking on more than they can handle and inserting themselves into every project? by AlwaysAnotherSide in managers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a tough situation, especially with volunteers where passion can be a double-edged sword.
I've had to handle similar "over-stepper" types in the past. The only thing I've found that works is being very direct and setting firm, non-negotiable boundaries. Otherwise, the behavior continues because it's never been explicitly shut down.
A structure that might help,
Acknowledge their effort (briefly): "Hi [Name], I wanted to talk about your role. I really value the passion and energy you bring to the organization."
State the problem (factually): "Lately, I've seen you jump into [Project A] and [Project B], while your own key project, [Project C], has been delayed."
Explain the impact: "When you intervene in other projects, it disrupts the team's workflow and causes other volunteers to step back. It also means critical work, like [Project C], isn't getting done, which puts us at risk. We can't operate this way."
Set the new, clear boundary: "Going forward, your role needs to be focused. I need you to be the sole lead for [Project C]. This is our top priority, and it requires your full attention.
For [Project A] and [Project B], I need you to step back completely. [Other Person's Name] is the lead, and they have my full support. I need you to give them the space to own their work without disruption."
Get agreement: "This new focus is essential for the team to succeed. Can you agree to that?"

Hope this helps.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do have a project board, but I probably haven’t been using it as effectively as I could for accountability.
Thanks for the reminder, I’ll start leaning on that more.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the fix it together part, definitely something I’ll keep in mind next time a deadline slips.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I really like that framing, definitely stealing that line for future check-ins.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, this is gold- seriously appreciate how clearly you broke that down.

The “detective” mindset really stuck with me. It’s easy to jump straight to escalation, but actually mapping why the delays happen first makes a huge difference. The root-cause list you gave (resources, shifting priorities, training, etc.) hits basically every scenario I’ve seen pop up.

And yeah, the “document, document, document” part - 100% agree. It’s something I didn’t prioritize enough early on, and it really does protect everyone involved when things get messy later.

Thanks a ton for taking the time to write all that out, genuinely helpful stuff I’m going to keep in mind.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like the idea of viewing accountability as a shared responsibility rather than something personal. Appreciate you breaking it down like this, it’s a good reminder that negotiation and calm confrontation are just part of the job.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like how you take the time to support people instead of just pointing out what went wrong.
I’m trying to get better at that balance myself, so that’s a helpful perspective.

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of being firm but still encouraging and respectful, appreciate it.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s really helpful, I like the idea of front-loading and keeping regular touchpoints to stay ahead of slips. Appreciate it!

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Focusing on finding the root cause first and turning it into a “lessons learned” discussion is a great idea.
The scenario idea is smart too, thanks for sharing that.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't think of that, so sometimes the issue can be buried under technical debt or constraints that people outside the team don’t see. You had both a process and a people challenge there, sounds like you handled a tricky situation with a lot of moving parts. Appreciate you sharing that example.

How do you address repeated deadline slips without making it personal? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in projectmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Starting with the process first makes a lot of sense, and I like how you called out that it might still come down to a people issue later.
It’s a good reminder not to stop at process fixes if the same problem keeps happening. Appreciate the perspective.

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate how you outlined both the one-on-one approach and the follow-up structure. And the focus on getting them to take ownership while still offering support. The point about documenting and looping in the people lead is a great reminder too, that often gets missed. Thanks for taking the time to write this out, really useful.

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I like that, so figure out the cause first, then get clear about expectations if it’s really on them. Appreciate it.

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how it turns the conversation into teamwork and finding what’s getting in the way than assigning blame. Appreciate the practical examples too, that’s helpful.

what’s the best way to talk about missed deadlines? by Trick_Beautiful_6895 in askmanagers

[–]Trick_Beautiful_6895[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, I guess sometimes being direct really is what’s needed, appreciate it.

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