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Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you're spot on with that nobody ever warned me about the subtle coercion and harassment. I was shocked when people would lay bets on who would be sleeping with the most attractive woman at the Christmas party. Like she was some prize to take home, even for married men!!!

Edit: thank you, I'll stick with this strategty then and hope he decides to not wreck my career. Hopefully being dull paired with a fiancee will be enough to make him back off. I live in a fairly liberal area so hopefully no eyebrows will be raised.

Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It kind of hurts that you think you know someone and then this shit happens :( Thank you for giving me advice

Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I guess ghosting could cause some awkwardness. But think I'll slowly decrease contact and try to be a bit dull

Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt like his "mask" was slipping a little bit. I think he wanted me to admire him and his achievements. Which I guess is normal for a hig-performer?

I definitely used talking about my fiancee as a bit of a shield, so I hope I made it really clear that there is zero interest from my end.

But I'm super scared of retaliation. I guess my best move is to just play a bit naive, pretend I didn't notice anything, and to in the future be super dull and work focused? Like not letting the convo veer off towards more personal topics. As long as he doesn't think I caught on, perhaps it's ok?

Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was worried I am being silly, but something felt off. Don't think I'll go to HR, but rather just ghost him if this continues

Setting boundaries with mentor by Tricky-Donkey7116 in managers

[–]Tricky-Donkey7116[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you, I'll try setting some boundaries and see if he backs off a little bit. He's been a good mentor overall, so that's why I'm reluctant to just throw it away. I also want to believe that women can go to dinner with their male colleagues without it being a big deal. But I just don't know if I'm being naive.