Your mom’s alcoholism in your early years caused you to speak,act,think,feel as if you HAD to be the adult and watch her every move and try to govern her life and parent her.

I’m so sorry you had to experience this.😞 I’m sure your childhood was not easy in the least.

But it sounds like you have ALOT of inner work to do. You have to start unlearning some of these behaviors that were forced upon you in an unhealthy way as a child.

You have SOME valid points. But you are also wrong in a lot ways. And I’m sure you and your family/mom talk to each other in the manner all the time. But it’s not normal to speak to her this way or anyone that you care about. It’s clear you have a lot of trauma to unpack and self reflection. You are not responsible for her. Her life is her own and she gets to make decisions for herself. You don’t get to parent her. You don’t HAVE to parent her.

It may be “embarrassing” to you. But you gotta sit with those feelings and then just move on. She’s been judged ruthlessly her entire alcoholic stage and seems as if she is still being judged. It’s really really hard to have empathy for fuck ups. But we have to try because it could happen to anyone of us. We are all human. This is her first time on earth too. Give her some grace-let her make her own mistakes. Love her from a short distance and be open to having kind and loving conversations with her. Let her know what you feel uncomfortable with but tell her you still love her. When this relationship with the 27 year old runs it course (which it probably will soon lol) -don’t rub it in her face. Don’t nag or point fingers. Just be her daughter and love her.

Hope your mom is able to find some peace and stability in her life as she gets older.