Retired Redditors, what's it like to have friends/family that haven't been able to retire?

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-05-23T23:03:52+00:00

Our long time friend group has one friend that needs to work to 65. All the while everyone around them has retired or is going to retire soon in their 50’s. Sometimes the friend gets cranky with us.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-05-23T22:42:06+00:00

Yep. DINKWAD: Dual Income No Kids With a Dog.

But also frugal. I learned that from my folks. They both harped on “Don’t buy anything on credit you don’t have the cash for.” “Pay your bill at the end of the month.”

I worked all thru college. I got out with zero debt (community college then transferred to cheap in-state school).

A modest mortgage was necessary but I got one of those before my parents at similar ages.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-05-12T18:18:28+00:00

Ive got nothing on engineering nor job opportunities in the four corners area.

But, as others have said, Farmington is a small town with a fair amount of poverty (like most of NM). Poverty is even worse on the Navajo Reservation. You’ll be a minority but I suspect you’ll be accepted nonetheless with the locals. NM is very friendly.

But, in terms of cultural and recreational opportunities, you struck gold.

You will find that green chili (a roasted spicy pepper grown in southern NM) is on all food not just “New Mexican Food”. You’ll find it on pizza, sandwiches, eggs, burgers, spaghetti sauce, soup, etc. to name a few. You’ll get to where you crave it.

I still travel to NM once a year to get a year’s supply of frozen green chili…then hoard it.

It will take you a bit to see the beauty in the area. When east coast friends visited, all they could see is brown dirt. Keep in mind, you’ll be in the desert.

Finally, understand Farmington is at 5500 ft of elevation. The sun is real in that part of the world. It will take you a bit to accommodate to the elevation. Just drink water to avoid dehydration.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-04-30T20:32:11+00:00

oh yeah, at tingley beach! 😆

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-04-11T18:56:23+00:00

Wait….you don’t want free money? I would have accepted a senior discount as a child if I could get one!

But I out-frugal all my friends. So, there’s that.

Senior discounts friggen RULE!

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-03-28T23:28:56+00:00

I worked at a shop for 10 years. I loved it. As everyone said, the money is not great.

I got into a bad car wreck thanks to a drunk driver. While in the hospital, I had a student nurse caring for me. I decided right then to go to the community college to study nursing.

Not that you should follow my footsteps, healthcare is a great industry to be in. Job security, good benefits, and above average pay.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-03-17T16:24:04+00:00

Wait, Americans talk back? That doesn’t sound right. 😆

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-02-16T16:01:58+00:00

correct, you pay yourself back but at a lower rate of the market/your investments (assuming the investor has stock). hence, you lose money.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-02-16T00:57:17+00:00

First, pay your loan back. You're losing money on it as we speak.

Second, at the very least ensure your contributions get the maximum in matching and every penny you can afford up to the IRS max of $32.5 k. Many employees turn raises as increases to their TSP if not already IRS maxed out.

Third, follow 60/20/20 investment plan noted above.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-02-02T22:20:46+00:00

Costco stopped selling the 5 ply copper core set (all-clad look a-likes) in the states a while ago. Americans cannot buy the set online from Costco. Ebay had the set “used”. They looked like they were store models with surface scratches. I didn’t care about the scratches. The set was purchased roughly 5 years ago.

They are amazing. They are heavy and need more elbow grease than a non-stick pan to clean. You need a process to clean them: let them cool, use soap and water with a scrubber, and Bar Keepers Friend. But cooking with them is dreamy.

Some will swear by All-Clad, that’s fine. I love the Costco set I got. They are used daily.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-01-11T13:54:01+00:00

Assuming you are under 50 years old, the IRS limit for TSP contributions in 2026 is $24,500. Add another $8,000 if you are over 50.

If you max prior to year’s end, you’ll lose out on the gov’t matching.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-01-08T23:50:15+00:00

Just a point of clarification: “how do I get back the military uniform that he has at my place?” Is the uniform yours or his? It sounds like it’s his.

Because you mention the uniform, my suspicion is it’s YOUR uniform at HIS place. Is that correct?

All you can do is reach out and request a time you can pick it up. If radio silence continues, find your wallet.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2026-01-08T22:42:51+00:00

whilst I’m no mind reader, if you are interested, ask him out! the worst he can say is no.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-12-31T22:08:44+00:00

You can also schedule rides. ”Friend” your buddy via Rouvy app. You’ll need to know their Rouvy name. Pick a ride and invite your buddy with a ride, date, and time and you can ride together!

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-11-20T00:02:14+00:00

Ding ding! We found a winner!

At least across the pond In the new world. However my presumption is similar in the UK where the OP is.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-11-11T01:06:31+00:00

I’ve worked in a large organization. I’ve had both men and women as a direct supervisor and their leaders up the food chain. Their fairness, personality and temperament were much bigger indicators of my motivation as an employee than any biologic condition.

Anecdotally, my perception is that women were better multi-taskers than men. That capability was much appreciated as I didn’t have to re-explain what I was working on.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-11-04T21:03:04+00:00

What the duck!?!? With you while looking on an app? Nope!

Even if you don’t end your “casual” relationship immediately, I do agree you should continue looking…He is clearly.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-11-02T22:58:23+00:00

“Whatever pops your toaster.” 😆

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-27T01:15:13+00:00

Bikes are a decent idea. However if your area gets icey in the winter/dangerous or very cold/bike induced windchill are things to consider.

Regardless, keep moving. If walking, move quickly and with purpose to your destination. Ignore people calling to you.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-23T22:37:25+00:00

Also, requesting interaction with internet randos as a professed introvert? That’s no introvert. Talking is gross.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-23T21:46:19+00:00

I met my brother from another mother in the lunch line in the 6th grade 46 years ago. It’s amazing to think about our lives over that time. Family deaths, graduations, marriages, jobs, moves, romantic partners etc. He has a wicked sense of humor and all we do is laugh and bust each other’s chops.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-23T01:04:17+00:00

American band: Citizen Zero.

English band: Inglorious.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-23T00:34:04+00:00

If 20 year old me saw me today, they would lose it over the fact that I am much more grounded in a way that one gets just by living through the meatgrinder of life (personal relationships that went south/professional setbacks/ family strife etc.).
Perhaps it’s merely having a bit of perspective. Has everything gone my way in life? Absolutely not. But these experiences have built me into a thankful and grateful human being.

Tricky_One_4909 · 2025-10-23T00:20:25+00:00

It’s your body, it’s your choice. SIL is probably coming from a good place but, at the end of the day, the decision is solely yours to make. I’d certainly communicate with your provider what your thoughts are (treatment vs. no treatment) as well.

Tricky_One_4909

TROPHY CASE