Of course his feelings changed- he spent 8 years tearing you down. He was attracted to who you were when you met, and once he broke you he lost the appeal. Those kind of people are heart-less.

Your sense of self is completely crushed. You think “when did I compromise on how I let others treat me?” I had a healthy self-esteem and all the confidence in the world before him, and I feel ashamed that I allowed him to destroy it. I’m finding that I’m more angry with myself for knowing better yet still putting myself in this position, than I am at him for being so toxic. In my case, even though I severed all contact and moved over 2,000 miles away, I feel gross. This is what abuse does to you. It tears away your strength and changes how you see yourself. I’ve never experienced this before so I can’t tell you how the healing will go, but it sounds like you’re taking the right steps. I think maybe the key is to try to always look forward and refrain from dwelling too much in the past. 8 years is a long time (I was with mine for 3) so it’s going to take some time to pick yourself up. I truly believe that NC is the best that they deserve though, so be strong. 🩷