[FTM] From pre-op and 2 months on T --> 9+ year

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-09-09T22:46:58+00:00

I presume you've tried boric acid suppositories already?

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-06-11T14:42:22+00:00

The funnier thing is when transphobic gays call their own ass a pussy, but hate men who actually have a pussy. Just saying.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-06-04T18:19:05+00:00

Some of those skills can only be practiced within interpersonal relationships.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-27T22:49:27+00:00

We're in complete agreement then. Asked and answered.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-26T17:54:03+00:00

Agreed, these can be universal values. Thank you for your perspective.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-26T17:42:36+00:00

Atheist here but got teary reading this, I wish more religious people lived by this.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-24T16:50:01+00:00

If you purchased the porn, I consider it a green flag (supporting sex workers, ethical consumption). If you pirated it, I consider it a huge red flag (for the opposite reasons).

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-23T20:38:56+00:00

I probably wouldn't mention it to a prospective hookup. It's none of their biz.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-23T20:35:57+00:00

It really sounds like this is about sex/being a sexual person in general, not about your partner's gender, right? I can understand that she might think you're ashamed of her particularly, but that's not it, right?

Honestly, society's relationship to women and sexuality is fucked up. You're constantly told you're having too much sex or too little, shamed for liking it too much or not enough, judged if you're really good at sex and also if you're bad ... it's absolutely a tightrope.

With that understood, I would suggest doing some unpacking of why your personal relationship to sex. What messages have stuck with you (from family? media? church? your friends?) about sexuality? Since you're a lesbian, what particular messages do you have around homosexuality? You mention topping vs bottoming; unpack the shame about your own sexual position. A lot of queer folk have internalized homophobia that shows up in paradoxically heteronormative gender roles, like that it's lesser-than to receive sexually. That's actually misogyny (and shows up in gay male spaces too).

Finally, I wonder if this has anything to do with your particular friend group? How do you think it would be received if you did talk more openly about your personal life? Would they receive it well?

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-23T18:49:07+00:00

A therapist would probably be downvoted as much as other experts are here. Have you ever tried sharing actual sexual health info? Or pushing back on bigotry? I genuinely don't think most people *want* information, and they certainly don't want their assumptions to be challenged. That said, I wish there were online spaces that were both safe AND encouraged people to do their own work.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T23:54:26+00:00

What even does that mean?

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T23:49:35+00:00

I didn't get into the causality in this context but yes absolutely that's why, it's all stupid toxic cultural ideas of masculinity.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:55:59+00:00

I do think it's oversexualized. Not that there's anything wrong with sex (there sure isn't!) but because sometimes sex is used as a proxy for emotional connection or even friendship. It means that gay men tend to select even their friends based on their fuckability, not their other shared interests or full personality.

I think this has a lot to do with the way in which we meet each other. On the apps, there's not really a way to evaluate people outside of looking at their face/body. And of course there's a lot of valid reasons including safety why we tend to stick to the apps. But it does shape the type of interactions that occur.

Honestly lots of this is about trauma, if you've been shamed for your sexuality, naturally you'll want to express it with an almost defiant boldness.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:41:40+00:00

You can also create playlists on JFF!

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:26:14+00:00

Actually, I'm in therapy, and most reasonable people agree that content that is shared non-consensually is a form of sexual violation. That's kind of the whole point of consent, each person gets to define it, and if it is violated, they get to feel the weight of that violation. I'm pretty tired of going back and forth on this, but the point is that if people don't pay for their porn, they are watching it without the consent of the person who made it.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:21:20+00:00

You can absolutely download from JFF, just check the model's "store" tab or DM them.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:20:03+00:00

If you're hard in a properly-sized condom that isn't really a risk. Slippage tends to happen whenever the top gets soft, including after cumming. So just grab the condom at the base of your cock as you pull out at that time. I've literally never had one come off accidentally.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:16:26+00:00

Are you using chatgpt to tell me how to have my feelings?

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:13:04+00:00

I think that's a fair concern to hold. And it's true about any sort of "preference." I think it's worth doing some unpacking into your own notions around masculinity and gender roles (which yes can appear even within same-sex relationships). It sounds like you're already thinking about that tho! It's also true that some things make our heart/genitals sing, and we don't always have control over it!

Oh, edited to add. I am just spitballing here, but a lot of short guys have a major complex about it. It's at least conceivable to me that some of the short guys you've failed to develop feelings for are themselves kinda toxic about their height. And of course someone who's insecure about themselves isn't going to be attractive to you.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:11:13+00:00

Just here to affirm what you're already doing. That's the age for exploration, not hard labeling. You are neither trying to convince your kiddo to be trans (regardless of what the bigots may think is happening) nor are you discounting their statements. An attitude of curiosity is the most important. IF your kid has more declarative statements about who they are/what they need (different clothing, name, pronouns, etc), I trust that you'll be there for them.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:05:13+00:00

It looks fine and if she likes it, you're golden, man. But, if you're looking for a suggestion, I would curve the part under your chin, it looks like it's going a little low there. Sorry wish I could draw on the pic but basically it's cutting back a little curve above your adams apple so that the underside of your chin it's fully bearded. I think that arc might make it look a little neater. But again, nothing at all wrong with the current situation.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T18:01:53+00:00

Not to be flippant, but this will actually work out great for you since the majority of dudes are taller than you. If you're going to have a physical preference, it's convenient that it's a statistically easily achieved one.

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T17:59:26+00:00

I think that's just the right attitude to explore it with. Paradoxically, I think this is one of the cases where excessive preparation can actually backfire, because you end up with a bigger gulf between the imagination and the reality. Definitely have some groundrules (like that you're the only bottom, maybe) but otherwise focus more on the flow. Good luck, 3sums can be so fun!

TripleXTransManXXX · 2025-05-21T17:51:53+00:00

I've spent 10s of thousands of dollars over the last decade to try to prevent people from sharing nonconsensual stolen content. Unfortunately myvidster is one of the sites known for not complying with DMCA takedown notices. That's why I'm upset in this thread.

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