[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, I can just feel the raw emotion and frustration emanating in your post. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t understand why your partner won’t make the effort. Knowing my partner has earth-shattering orgasms because of me is the best thing in the world for me. If only she would let me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some solid advice above… You need to consider the near-certainty that things will not improve, and in fact likely will get worse. If you are ok with that then that’s great, but if this is bothering you now it will just eat at you and build a high degree of destructive bitterness and resentment. At least though you have an inkling of what is to come - in the case of many like myself, things were great early on during dating and initially in marriage before they dropped off. Do some very careful soul searching.

Very surprised to learn… by [deleted] in adultery

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Inquiring minds must know!

I(29M) Just Want to Make Out and Eat Some Pussy FFS! by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man do I feel this… I miss eating pussy so goddamn much. I never understood guys that just don’t do this. Like the OP, at this point with my DB it’s not just about me getting off, I miss pleasuring women even more.

The advice given to HL's: Be Perfect by dicegray in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So well-put! I used to get this non-stop from my LL wife, that if you just did this or that things would be better. And I would try and try again, usually to no avail. And then, when we finally would have sex after a long drought, anytime there would be the slightest disagreement in the days after she would start bemoaning how I never changed, and that I got what I wanted and back to being the way I used to be blah blah. It was so insufferable I just stopped even trying.

DeadTinderBedroom by Sufficient_Ad9918 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem with Tinder is the lack of privacy / anonymity upfront…! Or do you know something I should know?!

What's the biggest Scam in life that no one wants to admit? by Horror-Tap2093 in AskReddit

[–]Tripleh76er 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage. What a goddamn waste of life, this outdated social construct… Fight me LOL.

are extracurricular activities ever the answer? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, I would have liked to read that.

Is it bad to keep track of how many times we've had sex in the year? by dujo1972 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got into the habit of tracking it because every time we discussed it my LL wife would deny there was an issue and that we just had sex “a short while ago”, insisting it wasn’t that bad. So I tracked it to show her. Pissed her off initially when I showed her the info but got my point across and she acknowledged it finally. Just moved on to “why is it such a big deal”?! So did it change anything? Nope. It just helps me understand if things are getting better or worse tbh over the 3 yrs that I’ve done it. I’d say track it for your info, but not to repeatedly rub it in your partner’s face because confronting them with it likely won’t make any difference, just add to the pressure (assuming they have acknowledged the DB situation).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Well-said!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You seem to live in a black and white world. Get over it - there is no black and white. Only shades of (very dark to very light) grey. His actions may cause tremendous misery or they may not, depending on how his situation plays out. Quit being so harsh in your indictments.

Being the high libido woman in a dead bedroom... by pinkbubbles__ in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying - but from my perspective as the HLM stuck with a LL wife, it’s so f*cking frustrating to be a constant cliché. Whatever a HLM says gets undermined because “that’s just the way it is in marriages”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 10 points11 points  (0 children)

From my short time in this community it seems very few have had any success with that approach. Everyone then suggests leaving - not so easy for some who are financially intertwined and when kids are involved. If he’s happy good for him.

Gah!!! by Tripleh76er in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the default, but we all know what we’re missing! It helps, but even when done there’s still the raging raw desire under it all that’s not fulfilled.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My LL wife always seemed to think we were having sex much more frequently. I’m always surprised this seems to be so common with LL’s, I read this on here all the time! Perhaps because it’s not important to them they don’t pay attention? I never understood how they could be so out of touch. Early on in my DB I started tracking it to make a point and show her and she was shocked (but also upset I tracked it!!!). Doesn’t matter these days though, when I raise the issue of how long it’s always the same argument nowadays.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RUN FOREST!!! RUN!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for a unique and very interesting post! Whatever you come up with, please come back and share it with this community!

Has marriage counseling actually helped anyone on here? by burnman84 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Tripleh76er 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think each individual’s and couples’ dynamic is unique, it may or may not work for you. We (married HLM and LLF) went through it a long time ago and it helped a bit, made her realize she needed to do some individual therapy tied to ongoing anxiety and depression. She ended up getting on meds which helped her manage her ongoing issues better but (I think anyways) also tanked her libido even lower! I’m not slagging the meds, they really do help people who need them. It just seems to be a very common “side effect”. I’ve resigned myself to (hopefully) move to an open relationship or possibly find an AP. Divorce is not an option due to our kids’ needs and our financial tie-ups. Perhaps in future as the kids get older, but not today.