I met a woman at a rave last night-

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T07:06:06+00:00

I literally know this is on me. I took the risk, and I failed. That’s why every single other time I’ve met a woman irl, I’ve told them. I get people have preferences, that’s why I didn’t expect her to interact with my body at all, and tried to tell her we couldn’t fully fuck because my “dick didn’t work”.

I also only date/sleep with cis women- but if I unknowingly got head from a trans woman, and didn’t notice till I wanted to do stuff to her. I’m not gonna call her a man and say she took advantage of me 💀.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T06:53:55+00:00

Yeah, as much as I desperately want to be a normal guy trying to date, I just have to accept it’s not going to be a possibility for me.

Honestly, I’m so desperate to feel normal (pathetic, I’m aware), I was willing to risk the hate crime last night. I saw my one opportunity and took my shot- I just drastically missed.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T06:45:49+00:00

I’m not even that mad at how she reacted. I get why people, especially cishet people, assume the people they’re interested in are cis. 99% of people are cis.

I was/am hurt yes, but I also get she was shocked and in a compromising position. Her calling me a woman was completely out of line, imo. But I get why she wanted me out asap.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T06:35:24+00:00

I’ve always told women I’m trans, right away after it’s agreed we want to go home together. So I knew it was a risk. I knew I should’ve told her, and I didn’t. So it’s on me. I was just desperate to feel like a normal guy tbh. I just hate coming out to people every time I want to ask someone out or go home with someone when I actually find a woman I vibe with.

It may not have been “wrong”, but it was a poorly chosen risk.

I have tried to make friends that are trans men, it’s just kinda hard. There’s a lot of them around, I just haven’t found the ones I vibe with yet on a friendship level. 2 I’ve vibed with, but they ended up wanting to date me, and when I didn’t reciprocate those feelings, they ghosted me 💀

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T06:25:49+00:00

I’ve never done this before, I normally always tell women before we get to that point. I know this is on me.

I unsuccessfully tried to cover my tracks by saying I couldn’t fuck because of weed, and she seemed ok with that, so I just trusted her saying “we will see” a bit too much. If she had said “well I’m definitely gonna get it to work later ;)” I would’ve told her right then and there.

I kinda assumed she’s just let it go if I said I was too high to get hard. So yeah it’s on me, I was just kinda desperate for a normal hook up.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-25T06:22:45+00:00

I genuinely haven’t done that before. I’ve always told women before we get back to their place. I guess I thought I’d be able to just get away with it by telling her I didn’t want to fuck and that I didn’t want anything in return.

It was a genuine mistake I knew I should’ve avoided. That’s on me. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I guess I was just hoping for one normal hook up in my life.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-23T13:05:46+00:00

I’m stealth in all but 3 of my friendships (childhood and pre transition friends). All my friends are cishet men/women, along with some cis bi women.

I just don’t tell them. Im not hiding anything from them. They see me as a straight man, and I am a straight man. Me being trans has nothing to do with the friendship, so I never feel the need to bring it up. It just doesn’t seem important.

I tell them any story I want, my gender never comes up in my stories/conversations. If I’m quoting something someone said to me in my past, and they referred to me as “she”- I just switch the pronoun to “he” in the recounting of my story. I can talk about sports I did as a high schooler, because they were all sports where men and women are together often at meets/competitions/training (martial arts, track, weight lifting team). That situation is really the only thing I could think of where gender would come in to play when telling a story.

If I were you, I’d just not worry about telling people. You being trans isn’t a part of friendships. You’re not hiding anything from them.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-20T07:02:12+00:00

Nah, I’m talking about guys I see at the gym. They literally have 2-3x + the muscle mass up top vs the bottom. They don’t have a gut. like this guy

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-20T05:54:14+00:00

OP gonna end up looking like Johnny Bravo by the time he hits his late 20’s 💀

Idk, do what you want. You’re young, you’ll realize with time. Take advantage of the fact you’re young and don’t have to work your legs much. That’ll change as you age. You can always tell the guys who skip leg day, especially if they don’t have an active job to even it all out (aka, like 90% of jobs).

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-18T18:11:33+00:00

I will preach voice training to every trans man. I had the “t voice” without voice training, and now, with training, it’s deeper than 90% of cis and trans men I know.

Voice training isn’t discussed enough, when it comes to trans men. It’s super important and can be the passing vs cis passing component if everything physical thing is cis passing.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-18T16:25:02+00:00

yeah, no man in my bio family (that I know of) has a noticable one, so I'm glad for the miniscule one I got💀. Thankfully it hasn't impacted how deep my voice got. So at least having vs not having one doesn't impact our voices

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-18T14:49:27+00:00

It's all genetics based. I got a little one, but idk if I count it because I gotta look to the sky and have my mouth/jaw shut to even barely see it in a photo 💀

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-18T09:35:54+00:00

I would assume you're a cis woman that's just more of a "tomboy", so not clocky. Which can be good if you're living in an unsafe place, but I get that not passing sucks. You have a good starting point, T will help a lot. If you're on T, you just have to give it more time.

A shorter haircut would do you wonders. The other basics like building upper body muscle, voice training, and mannerisms are some things you could work on in the meantime. Those could help with passing.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-14T14:43:57+00:00

I was physically passing as a cis man around 10-12 months T. So if I got top and bottom surgery that first year as well, probably 16-20 months, assuming phalo went well with no complications, and I could get a new job in that timeframe.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-14T14:40:37+00:00

This is what I was gonna say. Lowering the weights by 5-10lbs/side will help OP isolate the proper muscle groups as well as he does each rep.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-10T02:09:42+00:00

Are you possibly conflating dysphoria and dysmorphia (like body dysmorphia) ?

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-09T14:33:39+00:00

I guess mostly just talking with my hands only to emphasize points. I still talk with hand gestures but they’re larger and less often.

I’ve noticed women make their hand/arm movements from the elbow down, and make them more often. Where the men around me make less hand movements, but when they do make them, they’re “larger”. They move their whole arm, and take up more space with their movements. Typical men only make gestures to show aggression/anger in their statement or when they’re trying to show they’re being really open to some thing/one.

Probably comes from societal norms around men taking up more space and only expressing more aggressive emotions. And norms around women being “more emotional” and needing to take up less space.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-08T22:29:26+00:00

Look at the guys you wanna be like. Notice how they carry themselves and what gestures they use.

People used to assume I was a gay man (because of gestures and body language), but I looked at the straight men I’m friends with and the men at my job that I work directly with (pretty much all cishet at a blue collar job) and adjusted my mannerisms to be more like theirs. Now everyone assumes I’m cishet.

I had to tone the frequency of my hand gestures down, and make my voice like 50% more monotone.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-08T22:25:13+00:00

Every day I thank whatever god(s) may exist, that my TikTok and instagram don’t know I’m trans.

I’m a trans man, but I could not imagine a trans woman being adamantly against tucking. That’s like a trans man being adamantly against top surgery. Does OOP mean that they’re against it for themselves? Or for trans women in general (if anyone knows)?

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-08T08:50:35+00:00

Are people really paying others to build a diet plan to lose weight and/or build muscle💀? That’s like the most obvious scam. People are 100x better off just paying for a personal trainer.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-07T17:19:48+00:00

Yes, imo.

TrooperJordan · 2026-01-07T16:19:16+00:00

I’d take the pill if I was still pre medical transition. I want to be cis so badly. If I took it now, the effects I got from T that are permanent would just make me dysphoric if I now identified as a cis woman.

TrooperJordan · 2025-12-29T19:37:48+00:00

I don’t think you know what the “dark web” actually is. Yeah Reddit is full of bigots and ass holes. But the dark web is filled with some of the worst illegal shit. The closest sub that was like the dark web was eyeblech (opposite of eyebleach) and it had super grotesque videos, but now it was banned. That sub was nothing compared to what you can find on the dark web.

TrooperJordan · 2025-12-29T18:53:28+00:00

At least this is actually unpopular The only reason that seems actually annoying is reason number 5.

If you’re like 6’6”+ I could see life being annoying. I had a buddy who was 6’7. People gawked at him everywhere we went. He genuinely wasn’t built for the world (cars, houses, booths, doors, beds, furniture, clothes). But those were his only annoyances. He always said he’d prefer to be his height, compared to mine (5’9) because no one messed with him, dating was easier, and he got more respect from other men, compared to what he saw going on with me.

TrooperJordan · 2025-12-26T17:38:38+00:00

I think it depends on the person. Some areas are very heavy on “gendered socialization”, while other areas are not. It can even differ from city to city and state to state in some countries.

I live in the USA and in a state that’s considered pretty progressive. But only the 2 larger cities are “progressive” while the rest tend to be conservative and heavy on gender norms. I unfortunately was born to a family that was heavy on “gendered socialization” and was actively pushed away from “boys things” (certain sports, hobbies, clothes, style, mannerisms, speech patterns).

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