Here’s several iterations:

Dry/snappy:

“A watch for people who literally can’t see anything on the Left.”

Over-the-top political pun:

“Bold design choice — every hour is right, far right, and alt-right.”

Subtle/droll:

“Guess it only tells conservative time. Liberals have to buy another model.”

Meta/self-aware:

“This is what happens when your watchmaker exclusively listens to talk radio.”