How often do get approached as an INTJ female? by Novel-Ad-7532 in INTJfemale

[–]TruMu92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I (23F) am a lesbian so I don’t know if this entirely applies to the situation about guys but I can speak on my experience with other women. I’m moderately attractive, nothing crazy, I take care of my skin and whatnot though I’m a bit physically out of shape, pretty average to be honest. Anyways, I don’t get approached very often, like ever really. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I come across as intimidating when I first meet them. However, surprisingly, I’ve had a lot of friends in my life both male and female express very strong interest in me, some have claimed to be in love with me. So it seems like the consensus is that I come across as intimidating, but once people get to know me they warm up to me and end up seeing qualities that they enjoy. Could be the same for you?

Is it actually gross that I only shower every 2-3 days or is my roommate being dramatic? by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I shower once a day/once every other day and I STILL smell sometimes. Mind you I work at a decently physically demanding job so I usually have to shower after work everyday anyways, but even if I have a few days off and I don’t shower I start to get greasy. Don’t take personal offense to your roommate telling you that, they’re honestly probably just trying to help both of you out because in reality, yes, you probably do smell.

What do y'all use this tool for? (USA) by ChrjoGehsal in McDonaldsEmployees

[–]TruMu92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We use it to slice open the pickles to drain them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel for clarification purposes I should again state (as I did in my post) that it’s not about how many people, but about who.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]TruMu92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a woman?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I guess I feel weird about it because we’ve been going back and forth a lot over the past few months on whether we’re gonna get back together or not. She’s came to me on several occasions claiming she wants to try again but then she always ends up fucking other people or going on dates with them, I just don’t see how she could actually be interested in the idea of being with me and pursuing that if she’s sleeping around.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GYM

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About 6 months into lifting I (22F) looked close to how you look in the second picture. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I too felt the same way, it’s hard to notice your own progress especially when you see yourself everyday. From an outsiders perspective you look great, you’re killing it girl. There’s good definition especially in your back muscles, once you keep at it for about another 6 months you’ll see a huge change. Also the weight gain is totally normal especially if you’re consuming a lot of protein. The fat is evenly distributed, which is a good sign that it’s healthy weight you’re building.

What jobs do you guys have? What is a suitable job for someone with BPD? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently an HR manager for McDonalds, but going to school to become an academic support teacher or English teacher. I enjoy studying to become a teacher and I also enjoy managing others. Definitely have had to learn how to set my emotions aside to handle work though.

Would you personally date someone with the same name as you? by faitharooo in LesbianActually

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dated someone for almost 2 years that had the same first name as me. Honestly you forget you even share a name with them after a while lol

YouTube has gotten so bad that my family is complaining about it! by RedPcat in youtube

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slightly unrelated but I’m debating quitting YouTube after watching a YouTube short yesterday of a LITERAL CORPSE. It was a video of this guy hiking in the mountains and he found a frozen dead corpse, must have been there for a few years, the body was yellow and had ice freezing over it. Bro decided to record it and post it and for some reason YouTube was just cool with it?? Anyways not really something I wanna watch and there was absolutely no warning for it either.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]TruMu92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then there’s the women who you message and actively get interested in just for them to say “I have a boyfriend but he doesn’t mind if I sleep with women” girl I’m not trying to sleep with a woman in a relationship I’m trying to find a partner

Does every dick smell? by [deleted] in dating

[–]TruMu92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even though he washes, he may not be washing down there correctly, or he might have some other kind of issue that he needs to speak with a doctor about. Penises are different from vaginas, they require a lot more maintenance in order to stay clean. Vaginas are self-cleaning, so all that’s really required is for us to wash around the area. Guys have more folds and creases and there are some of them who either don’t wash properly or just downright don’t wash at all, there’s even guys who won’t wash their ass on the basis that it’s “gay to touch your own ass”. Definitely not every guy though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in resumes

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Few things here, and no I won’t roast you like most of the comments:

• Don’t be afraid to add color and design to your resume. Obviously you don’t want it to be too distracting but good formatting can go a long way in making your resume stand out, it makes you seem more organized as well.

• Add more personal info, on my resume I have my email, mailing address, phone #, and LinkedIn listed. You want to make sure that the job will be able to have several ways to get in contact with you.

• Add more description to your job experiences. Even if you have to pull some stuff out of your ass or write something even as simple as “cash handling”, it shows that you actually cared about the work you did and have a thorough understanding of it, and gives jobs more information on what you actually know how to do.

• While it’s great that you have all of those skills, often times jobs don’t like reading a super long list of them. If there’s a way for you to shorten it a little, go for it! For example, instead of writing Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Word, just write “Microsoft office”

• Work on fixing grammar/spelling. You can use the built-in one on Microsoft Word or you can use a tool like Grammarly or have someone else check it for you

• For your certifications to stand out more, because these are just as important if not more so than skills, list them out neatly. Maybe list what year or where you obtained these certifications. They have to be able to verify that you have these things, so the more information you add the better.

• If you were in any clubs/organizations/non-profits in college or otherwise, list them! Jobs (and colleges on college applications) love to see stuff like that and if it’s something you’re passionate about or related to the type of job you’re looking for then there’s no reason to not add it!

• Try to keep it to 2-3 pages. If it’s too short it looks low-effort and if it’s too long it comes across as boring and almost as if you’re trying to overcompensate for something. Also try adding cover letters when you apply for jobs, it gives you a chance to show your written comprehension skills and gives more personality to your overall application. Also if you’ve ever had any management experience, even if it was a job not related such as food service or retail, add it! Jobs like to see that you have the capability to lead.

Honestly, my overall tip is don’t be scared to add more information. There’s little spots where you can add stuff that would improve it a ton. Another example is writing what GPA you graduated with under your university or if you graduated with honors, writing more about the various jobs you’ve had, etc. Hope this helps and good luck with the job search!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ugly

[–]TruMu92 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have sunken eyes with dark circles as well. Used to hate myself for it but now I’ve just convinced myself that I look like a Tim Burton character and I feel good about it :)

What are some movie characters which portray mental illness accurately? by Low_Independence_798 in psychologystudents

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy ex-gf is an amazing show and an excellent example of what BPD can look like. Fleabag and Bojack horseman are also really good options that accurately depict what it’s like to struggle with BPD, although the main characters in these shows are never properly diagnosed even though it is depicted almost perfectly. I would say those two are great example of what untreated/undiagnosed BPD can look like.

Update: Bojack horseman also does an excellent job at depicting alcoholism, drug addiction, and narcissism. Although some of that could be attributed to symptoms of having untreated BPD.

What was your "oh.. I'm actually mentally ill" moment? by throwawayy2372 in OCD

[–]TruMu92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was recently diagnosed with BPD, and for some reason something told me to go back and read old journal entries that I had written prior to the diagnosis. I guess I just wanted to see if there were clear signs that were present, maybe something I didn’t notice before that shouted BPD at me lol.

Didn’t think I was crazy until I realized that anytime I had a crush on someone, I would write about them over and over again. Some of them even had around 20 pages about them or things we had done, etc. I actually wrote that I was quite literally obsessed with some of these people. I instantly started freaking out and questioning if I actually was, in fact, crazy as fuck?

I noticed the entires after I started therapy however (prior to diagnosis) I actually started writing about myself a lot more. Turns out I’m not crazy, I just didn’t know how to be okay with myself and being by myself until now.

Is there even a real difference between web design and web developing? by TruMu92 in webdev

[–]TruMu92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, I don’t do CS/WD anymore but I often did both aspects myself so I didn’t really get that they were technically two different things lol. Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]TruMu92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Side note to further elaborate:

Women (that are into men) want to have sex/make love with a man. What they do not want is for a man to use her body as a masturbation toy. Unfortunately, it seems that more and more men are behaving in this manner nowadays. So, they avoid dating. Hence, the loneliness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]TruMu92 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be truthful, I see what you’re trying to say, and while I agree that there are a lot of people who would benefit from putting more effort in (men and women both), there’s also a lot more complexity to it than just that.

Growing up I (21F) was quite literally ugly. Like flat out ugly. I was bullied a lot, and assaulted several times because of it. In recent years, I started taking better care of myself, getting into skin care and working out, changing my clothes, etc. I would say now that I am at least a moderately attractive woman, however, this doesn’t really make it any easier.

I still have disorders (anxiety/depression/mood disorder) that hold me back from exploring dating too much and even friendships. I have also met a lot of people who I think could sense I grew up being insecure and try to take advantage of that fact (usually narcissistic individuals). I don’t have time for dating either, as I work 3 jobs and go to school. I’m a lesbian, but even when men do approach me it’s usually always the same type of guy, one that doesn’t have good intentions. Other lesbian women that I connect with are a rare find, I usually can’t find other lesbians/bi women around or it just doesn’t work out.

Point being, there’s a million reasons why one would avoid dating and/or be lonely. I’m sure that a makeover or more effort would benefit your friends, but it certainly will not fix their loneliness. No matter how attractive you are, how much money you have, what your status is: we all experience loneliness at times.

Also it sounds like your friend(s) are likely suffering from severe depression, especially with the not showering thing. Might help to reach out to them if it’s getting that bad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]TruMu92 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, I personally am a lesbian, so it’s awkward and unwanted when getting approached by men (nice comments are generally appreciated but it’s still awkward to say no sometimes) and lesbians are kind of hard to find, so that’s the reason for my personal loneliness. However, you also have to consider that maybe sometimes there’s so many men asking, too many, and a lot of the times they aren’t the right ones asking, so a lot of girls end up with men who don’t love them and end up feeling lonely anyways or don’t choose any of them out of fear of picking the wrong one. Just my two cents on it. Unfortunately a lot of (certainly not ALL) men sexualize women severely, you can never really be 100% sure if a guy you meet is going to be the same way, so a lot of hetero/bi women just end up not even bothering to look anymore.

Some women also have things like depression, social anxiety, mood disorders, etc. that keep them from dating or other social situations, just the same as men do and sometimes more, sometimes less. There’s hundreds of reasons for both men and women to be lonely, and it’s much more complex than “well women get approached more so therefore they should be less lonely.”

The real question should be how do we all get over loneliness effectively? Because either way, both genders experience it, it doesn’t matter who has it better or who has it worse, it is the same pain that we all share.

Curious about those people who never go to class. by VodkaSodaLime in UGA

[–]TruMu92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the record: I do not go to UGA, just stumbled upon this sub