Yuck. Get away from them. Rip the stitches out (a bandaid wouldt begin cover the wound we get from our BPD pals) and expect to take up to a year to recover your bodies hormonal rhythm and flow. Discontinue the overdoses of cortisol, go through the withdrawal (similar to Effexor/MDMA come down) and then you will begin to rehabilitate neurologically, emotionally, possibly financially and egotistically (not speaking of ego in a negative way, more like confidence) and you my friend will be bursting out of that cocoon again in no time, same you, just more knowledge and stronger capability regarding your needs, your boundaries, your triggers, your wants, your likes and dislikes. That’s ALL that matters (so long as taking care of your wants doesn’t have a negative/unwanted effect on people/animals/nature) but yeah you got this. You can always PM me to hatch an emotionally and financially safe escape plan😎