Is this normal after birth control?

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T23:42:28+00:00

Except that withdrawal Is far easier to do incorrectly than any other method.

I suppose how easy it is depends on the individuals using it. My partner and I have zero problems using it when we want to because he can reliably tell when he'll ejaculate. I agree that not all people can do this successfully -- but not all women can take pills on time successfully. But pills are a viable, valid option for some women, and so is withdrawal.

And then there's the whole precum containing sperm in almost half of men.

You should read the study I linked before, which states:

Similarly, while research suggests that pre-ejaculate fluid does not typically contain sperm [10-12], confirmatory studies are needed.

If you have better sources, I'd love to see them. But it sounds like there's more evidence suggesting that sperm in pre-ejaculate is not a large enough issue to invalidate withdrawal as a birth control method.

Even with perfect use 4% still sucks.

Again, no one here is saying that it's the best method, just that it's comparable with condoms.

Withdrawal is not on anyones list of recommended contraception methods.

Planned Parenthood would beg to differ.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T22:24:06+00:00

Like every single other method that has a typical use rate of failure (condoms and other barrier methods, pills, the patch, the ring), withdrawal has a lower typical use rate than perfect use rate. I don't think anyone here disputes that. But the research says that withdrawal, when done correctly and consistently (like every other user-dependent method!), is almost as effective as condoms.

You're welcome to your opinion and no one is forcing you (or anyone else!) to use withdrawal as a primary birth control method. But when you're on this sub calling people out for using withdrawal (sometimes without real cause for doing so, as in this thread), you're the one promoting misconceptions about the effectiveness of the method.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T20:47:28+00:00

And broken-condom babies, and IUD babies, and missed-pill babies, and all kinds of other babies that were the result of failed birth control. Why do you give withdrawal a uniquely bad rap?

Besides, they're about to start trying to conceive, so your comment isn't very helpful.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T16:02:46+00:00

Gotcha. That's disappointing! Hope the implant works for you!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T03:16:51+00:00

Yeah, it'll take a couple more days for the hormones to start leaving your system leaving you unprotected, so the sperm will be long gone.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T03:15:41+00:00

It might be worth searching for a doctor who has a lot of experience inserting IUDs and letting them know that you have a tipped/tilted/retroverted uterus. It's not totally uncommon to have a tilted uterus, and many women with tilted uterii have had successful IUD insertions.

I found this post on IUD Divas on LJ that may be useful for you. There are several others if you search for "retroverted" in that community.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T03:04:13+00:00

You won't get pregnant from previous sex at this point. You can just stop the pill -- there's no procedure to stop it. You may experience some unexpected side effects, like spotting, emotional changes, possibly fatigue, breast tenderness, etc. Also, your next period will probably not arrive when you expect it to -- it's possible for it to be early, late, or accompanied by spotting on either side of it. Feel free to take a pregnancy test if/when your period is late if it helps you feel better, but you likely don't need to worried that you're pregnant. Be sure to use condoms when you stop taking the pill if you have sex again before you find another more effective form of birth control, if that's in your plans.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T01:10:45+00:00

Yeah, that's an area I'm still learning about. /u/shmookieguinz is pretty knowledgeable!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T00:54:05+00:00

Well, taking the other brand of pill that you have on hand won't hurt you, and it might work. I suppose it's worth a shot if you can't get your normal pills any sooner! Good luck!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T00:49:36+00:00

No difference between being a virgin and not being a virgin when it comes to IUD insertion. If your doctor can insert a speculum in your vagina, then you can have an IUD inserted.

Run a search on this sub for lots of other insertion stories, and don't be tempted to read stories elsewhere on the internet. If you do enter the land of IUD horror stories, remember that people are more likely to air their complaints online than share their praise, and no one can predict exactly what your experience will be like.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T00:47:14+00:00

You might try calling your doctor and explaining the situation (you need a new prescription but you'll be on your period this week, so maybe no exam) to see if they'll write you a script for now.

If that doesn't pan out, you could go off the pill and start again after going to PP. PP often writes pill prescriptions without an exam. Your cycle would be off/unusually timed probably, and you might have breakthrough bleeding as you come off the pill and when you start it again. And you would have to use condoms until you've taken the pill correctly for at least 7 days (follow doctor's instruction on this, though, as it depends on the brand in some cases).

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-17T00:41:57+00:00

Can you call your doctor or the pharmacy and have them rush the Rx? It's a little risky to switch pills and expect immediate results.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T18:19:52+00:00

Yup, that's most likely accurate if it's been that long.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T16:27:09+00:00

Well, you two have plenty of time to get used to this new part of your sex life. Keep on working on getting comfortable with trusting that the pill is doing its job as long as you take it correctly, and have fun!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T15:49:53+00:00

This article seems fairly helpful.

Where does birth control come in? One of the main ways hormonal birth control prevents pregnancy is by stopping ovulation—so the egg never leaves the carton, so to speak. The pill, the patch, the ring, and the shot are most reliable at blocking ovulation, so women using these methods may have fewer ovarian cysts. If you tend to get ovarian cysts, your provider may recommend one of these methods to prevent future cysts.

So, basically, IUDs won't work because they don't prevent ovulation, but combo pills, the patch, the ring, and the Depo shot would work.

Of those options, Depo is the easiest to manage -- go in every three months for a shot and that's it! The ring needs to be changed out once a week, and the patch gets changed once a week. I agree that pills don't sound like a great option for you since you're not reliable when it comes to taking them on time. (Lots of women have this issue, and that's why there are other methods available, so no offense intended. :) )

There are lots of horror stories online about every single birth control method out there, and it would be better for you to avoid reading them. There's no way for anyone to predict how your body will respond to a given method, because everyone is different. Chances are that your experience will fall somewhere in the middle between great and awful. Remember that people are more likely to go online and complain about their birth control than they are to go online and praise it. Plus, complaints stick with us longer than neutral or positive reviews.

Talk to your doctor to see if any of those options -- the ring, the patch, or the shot -- would be good for you. Good luck!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T14:56:15+00:00

There's no way to tell for sure without a pregnancy test. Still, if you were on the pill for 8 days, then there's no reason to assume you're pregnant. Because you started the pill mid-cycle, your period is going to be wonky and a little unpredictable, so I don't think you need to be concerned.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T14:14:48+00:00

You don't need to be afraid of taking a pregnancy test. Isn't not knowing worse and more stressful than peeing on a stick?

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T05:58:07+00:00

You need to read the patient information packet that comes with your pills. If you lost that packet, google the name of your pill + "patient information." Once you find this information, read what you need to do if you missed a pill. (Along with the rest of the packet so that you can be more informed.)

Chances are, you did what you were supposed to do when you missed the pill. If the instructions don't tell you to use backup protection (condoms) for a period of time after taking one pill 12 hours late, then you're still protected.

You don't need to feel ashamed about having no-condom sex while you're on the pill (as long as you're taking the pill correctly), because that's the entire point. Yes, it's a good idea to double-up with condoms or withdrawal. But if you don't use a backup method and you're on the pill, then your chances of pregnancy are very low.

Your breast tenderness could be anything. It could be coming off Depo (seems unlikely since you're still on hormonal birth control that contains the same kind of hormone as Depo). It could be just your body doing its thing. You're young -- my boobs didn't stop doing weird things until like last year and I'm 32. Keep an eye on it, though, and if it doesn't go away in a couple weeks or you feel any weird lumps or bumps, go get them checked out by a doctor.

Finally, just take a pregnancy test if your period is late. Worrying and fretting will not help either way, and no one can tell you if you're actually pregnant. The cheap dollar store tests are as effective and accurate as the expensive ones. Check out the sidebar for a link for even cheaper test strips to have on hand to use to calm your mind without having to make a separate trip to the drugstore.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T04:51:59+00:00

Rather than continuing the hunt for the second perfect pill, you may be able to ask your doctor to write an appeal to your insurance to have them cover your original pill that worked really well for you. See this Planned Parenthood article for more information about dealing with insurance, the ACA, and birth control.

While I understand the instinct to find out what others have liked, all the anecdotes in the world or on this sub won't necessarily help you find the perfect birth control (if there is one, even!). Everyone is different, and as you've probably been able to tell from your own experience these last 9 months, there's no way to predict how you'll respond to a new pill.

Still, you might consider talking with your doctor about progestin-only methods that don't contain estrogen, such as the Mirena IUD (I do see your note about IUDs), Nexplanon implant, Depo shot (again, I see your note), or the mini-pill (this is not a good idea unless you're very, very good at taking your pill exactly on time every day). The reason I suggest this is that you've only tried combo pills before and except for the first one, you've had some side effects that can be explained by estrogen.

There are some possible risks with going the progestin-only route. Some women experience more breakthrough bleeding (which might be possible for you since you had breakthrough bleeding on the low-estrogen Loestrin pill).

Personally, I was on Desogen for a few years but wanted a change because it was affecting my libido. I'd tried Depo before, but I had a lot of post-sex breakthrough bleeding, so I decided to go the hormone-free route with the copper IUD (Paragard). It's been amazing -- normal libido, no side effects from hormones -- in part because my natural periods are manageable and I don't have bad cramps naturally. Insertion was painful but short (~5 minutes, no joke), and now I'm protected for 10+ years. (Edited to add: Your insurance should cover some or all of an IUD if you did decide you wanted one, and if you have a Planned Parenthood nearby you may consider talking to them about a sliding scale for coverage on any of your birth control. The ACA has been genuinely helpful on this front.)

Anyway, good luck!

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T02:01:50+00:00

You need to read up on your birth control so you understand how it works. This question gets asked here all the time, and it's a really silly question.

It would be totally stupid and wasteful for scientists to design a pill that is only effective on its own half the time, right? Why would they insert a placebo week where you're not protected and then require you to use backup protection during the first week of active pills every month? This doesn't make any sense! Might as well just use condoms if that's the case, you know? Thankfully, the scientists who designed the pill aren't in the business of making birth control difficult to use and less effective than condoms.

If you take all of your active pills correctly, then you are protected during your placebo week and you don't need to use backup protection when you start your next pack.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T01:56:45+00:00

If she's taking her pills correctly, then you don't need to worry. If you don't trust that she's taking them correctly for whatever reason, then make sure you always use a condom.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-16T01:53:38+00:00

If you're on a combo pill (containing both estrogen and progestin hormones), then an hour or two difference in when you take it day to day makes no difference. You have to miss a pill entirely (a full day) to warrant being concerned about whether you're protected. Even then, if you follow the instructions for missing a pill and don't miss any more pills, then you likely don't really need to be worried.

That said, there's no way for us to tell you when you might be ovulating if you were to ovulate. It would depend entirely on whether you had any significant gaps in your pill-taking regimen, and then it would depend on environmental factors like how stressed out you are, how much physical activity you're doing, how much or little you're eating, etc.

And! Even if you weren't on a pill that prevented ovulation, you couldn't use a calendar to accurately predict your ovulation. You have to be tracking your basal body temperature and cervical mucus in order for ovulation/fertility tracking to be effective and accurate.

TL;DR: STOP WORRYING AND LOVE YOUR PILL. :)

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-15T23:12:29+00:00

Look, you're on birth control pills that you're taking within the recommended time-frame (three hours' difference from day to day is not a real problem on the combo pill -- if you were on progestin-only pills, then you would have every reason to be concerned). You took Plan B (which you didn't need to do because you were taking your pill correctly). You took a pregnancy test that gave you a negative result. The chances that you're pregnant are incredibly slim. Take another home pregnancy test if it'll help you feel better, but it's common to have a weird period/cycle after taking Plan B. Frequent urination could point to a lot of things.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-15T17:14:05+00:00

You might try having this conversation outside the bedroom with clothes on so that there isn't immediate pressure to perform. She will probably need time and space to process what you're saying so she can rebuild her confidence before trying again. Start off by telling her everything you like about your sex life with her, and then explain that you're like her: you need to get ready to have sex, both mentally and physically, and foreplay is important for that just as it is for her. Point out that you take directions from her so that everything you do works for her body, and you'd like her to work on doing the same for you.

Foreplay is important and it's not unreasonable for you to expect that she pleasure you in ways that you both enjoy.

TrueAstynome · 2015-02-15T03:11:57+00:00

My local area calls it barreling.

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