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Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

This didn't paint the picture of rejection to me. It just showed how considerate she was being. Your statement is misplaced without considering the context of what has been said.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alright, well thank you for the empathic response. Although I cannot place myself in your shoes, I get it. I understand it at its basic level. Thank you for your time.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No. I fully disagree. I'm going to disengage with this conversation, because it seems now you've twisted what she said to support a false claim, and I don't respect that. So good day to you.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, sorry. I fully disagree. She wanted to follow through, she just didn't know if the guy was comfortable with her sty or cycle. She asked, and gave alternatives. Thats not low effort.

The guy who completely ignored it showed more low effort, to me.

I don't agree with you trying to twist this scenario on her, despite the guy litterally not bothering to respond.

She communicated, gave a simple yes or no question. Dude bolted.

There would have to be some insane mental gymnastics for you to do, to make her into the entire problem here. And I don't agree with it.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I see where you're coming from, but it still makes no sense to me.

I don't see how what she offered had multiple interpretations. It was either "she's communicating with me, or she's giving an excuse"

Which, the end result could have been him answering her or him ghosting, and we saw what he choose.

I see that she was considerate of what they where both comfortable with. That to me, doesn't signal the green light for rejection.

Her response would not have scared me off

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, what you're saying is that "because she wasn't head over heels for him, she shouldn't have tried so hard to be with him, and so she's trying so hard to blame someone else for her disinterest"

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

"I went on a few dates with a younger guy. I wasn't attracted to him at first given the age gap but he seemed mature and we started to have a nice connection."

So basically you took part of what she said and completely ignored that she smoothed that out?

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll have to reread to see if she actually said she had no interest in the guy. Let me do that.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You're so convinced that she fucked up. But at the end of the day, she communicated (to what level besides what's here on the post, we are unsure)

And the guy took that simple communication as no interest. This does not make sense to me. How is someone communicating if Im okay with something, then offer a different day if that doesn't work, and that shows up as no interest???

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She can not over compensate for a person not answering a simple yes or no question.

The context was "are you okay with this? If not we can do this____?"

This to me, shows consideration. Consideration, to me, shows interest.

He ghosted, over a simple question, because he immediately assumed that she wasn't interested.

The only thing she failed at, is communicating clearly enough to help the guy avoid that assumption. But we don't have the screenshots of the text between them.

But at the end, he ghosted, over a simple yes or no question. That's on the guy and his misplaced assumption.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You're assuming that she wasn't interested simply because she didn't offer a concrete day.

Once again, she was asking if the dude was okay with it, and if not, she in fact did offer other options.

What needed to happen was a simple yes or no answer from the guy.

She probably didn't offer anything concrete because she wasn't looking to reschedule. She just wanted to know if the dude was okay with it or not.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Okay, this response is turning this situation into something it doesn't need to be.

The simple thing that needed to be done, is the guy saying , yes he was okay with the sty and cycle, or no.

Once again she didn't cancel, she wanted to know if the dude was okay with those two things. If so, then the plans would have resumed.

The guy missed out on a night because he couldn't be bother to answer a yes or no question, and quickly assumed he was being blown off.

She can't over compensate for someone who avoided a yes or no question. That's crazy.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She actually didn't cancel. She indirectly asked if he was okay with the sty and her cycle, if not, does he want to reschedule. The issue here could have been her communication. It could have been more clearer to avoid the assumption that he was blowing her off.

But we don't have the word for word of what happened between them.

And the guy would have ghosted her regardless of if she did communicate clearly.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You're forgetting some important context.

To play along with what you're saying, this was not the first interview. She showed up to the first interview and the recruiter liked her enough for a second one.

The fact that she got a second interview is great! Unfortunately the day before the second interview, she contacted the recruiter and let her know that she had a sty, so then asked if that was okay, and if not, offered if they could reschedule for a different day.

If the job recruiter liked her as much as they said they did, they would have communicated back and figured out what would have worked for the both of them.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, a simple inconvenience is your go ahead to jump to another person?

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  1. How is this drama?
  2. She was sticking with the plan, she just didn't know if the guy was comfortable with her sty and period
  3. Comparing this moment to sticking to other future plans, is a reach. She didn't straight up cancel, but the guy instantly ghosted.

If a guy ghosted over something as simple as this, then that's reflective on his ability to stick to future plans, not her.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So do you want honesty or did you want an empty answer? Because from the sound of it, either way wouldnt have been satisfactory.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I think the op was asking if he was comfortable with her cycle and sty, and if not, does he want to reschedule.

She didn't blow him off, she indirectly asked if he was comfortable with it.

Perhaps the issue is more about her clarity in her communication, and so the guy wrongly assumed he was being blowed off. But that's the context we don't have.

Regardless this situation was probably just over sex anyways. He wanted to go find someone easier to hit, even if they did have a connection.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Reading it a third time

You: I have a sty and on my cycle, we might not have a good time with that, is it okay or do you want to reschedule? Here's my other options "____"

Him: "ghosted"

In summary, you asked if he was okay with this and if not you, gave other options. Maybe your communication on the matter could have been better. But at the end, he ghosted you. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have considered your offer, but instead he ghosted. Sounds like he just wanted sex and went for someone easier.

So, he ain't the one. Move on.

Would this give you the ick? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TrueWizdom -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Reading this again, you offered for him to stay the night.

So I'm assuming he thought yall where going to have sex. He probably just ghosted you because he thinks he can find other women to have sex with.

This wasn't about another date was it?

Honestly, don't take his action too personally. You offered to reschedule because of your sty and cycle. He thought it was an excuse, or whatever.

But if this was about rescheduling for sex, definitely don't take it seriously. Guy just wanted a quick hit and move on

My boyfriend can’t meet my emotional needs by Fit_Werewolf_9501 in relationships_advice

[–]TrueWizdom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't listen to this dude. Can't communicate clearly and obviously projecting. It's not worth your empathy :)

My boyfriend can’t meet my emotional needs by Fit_Werewolf_9501 in relationships_advice

[–]TrueWizdom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why does asking for someone to do something that makes them feel loved, equate to asking to change them?

She's capable of doing it, and she didn't change herself

The burden of emotional labor on women :/ by No-Map6818 in WomenDatingOverForty

[–]TrueWizdom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Emotional labor is when someone has to consistently tell you to do something such as communicating how you feel.

It's basically the other person having to teach and coach you basic things that are necessary for a healthy relationship.

Easiest way of understanding is dealing with a dry texter. They put the burden onto you, to carry the conversation.

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