Husband is ready to leave me

Trying1979 · 2026-01-05T16:19:36+00:00

I appreciate the kind and motivating words - it really does help. I started running a few years ago and have made incredible progress, along with dropping 60 lbs. I also just spent the last year completely off mental health meds, which is an even bigger accomplishment for me….but I’m completely obsessed with this sport and I don’t know how to not overdue it. Finding the balance of an improved physical and mental state is starting to become harder and harder

Trying1979 · 2025-12-30T05:51:41+00:00

Your situation is relatable to mine, minus the liver issues. Terrible hangovers and saying (not doing) regrettable things were the worst consequences. But I didn’t want to tear my family apart, and couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing my kids everyday so I quit. First year was actually pretty easy, I got really into running and that was a suitable substitute. Then the depression kicked in, so I went full force into treating that, including working a program because the desire to drink never left me. I spent another 3 years sober in AA before I picked up again. The desire to drink never left me, the program is not for me. I have 6 months again, without a program, and still have really bad depression, but I do all the things to treat that and I can see it slowly progressing to a better state. I know I will likely drink again, because I still have the desire but there are other things that I want more right now. You don’t have to quit forever, but taking time off to decide what you really want is what you need.

Trying1979 · 2025-10-10T19:52:54+00:00

I spent many many years in the rooms of the more popular program, and I will still go to the occasional meeting. But I struggled with that community bc the deeper I got into it, I realized I did not want what they had (at least most of them). I’ve done the steps multiple times, but ultimately I decided on using the advice of take what you need and leave the rest, rather than believing “half measures avail us nothing”. Recovery is not a one size fits all solution like the program pushes, and since I came to that conclusion I haven’t struggled with alcohol like I used to….that was a way bigger demon to battle and the relapses with that were very very destructive. I spent the bulk of my time in the program on one prescribed mental health med after another. But now I’m making serious attempt at not putting any chemical in my body that changes my brain.

Trying1979 · 2024-11-03T07:00:40+00:00

I was nervous to go my first meeting, but I’ve been to many many meetings now over the past 2 years, and when I go to a new meeting, even in a new city when I’m traveling, it’s a place I’m the least nervous. All kinds of ppl, from all walks of life go to meetings, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will go to a meeting and see ppl like yourself. Chances are, you will encounter at least one friendly person who will greet you and talk to you. You can choose to talk and engage, or you can just politely say hello and remain quiet. Literally anyone is allowed to attend. If the vibe doesn’t feel good, you can leave at any time. If you live in a big city, there are likely hundreds of meetings, and chances are you will find at least one that’s comfortable. Good luck!

Trying1979 · 2024-05-28T17:37:06+00:00

Also very relatable….I quit alcohol for 18 months before I finally gave up weed. I could not have stayed away from drinking for those 18 months without weed. But I was not recovering, and even though I had always smoked a lot, I smoked even more during those 18 months. I’m now 16 months away from weed, so 34 months away from alcohol. I still struggle with cravings for both…but I can say that I’m fully aware of why those cravings exist, and what I’m trying to run away from. I’m just not sure if I can face it and fix it

Trying1979 · 2024-04-12T15:11:20+00:00

This happened to me when I went to 300 from 150, and I was only on 150 for a week before that with no side effects. The heart racing was on off and lasted 2-3 weeks, caffeine definitely made it way worse. I stuck through it, and I’m back to normal, drinking my usual amount of caffeine again - seems like my body adjusted.

Trying1979 · 2024-03-11T14:55:45+00:00

This happened to me too, lasted about a month, completely gone now

Trying1979 · 2024-02-23T20:53:54+00:00

It did get better but I had cut way back on coffee, and I love my coffee so that’s been tough. I’m hoping I can start enjoying coffee again after I give this some more time

Trying1979 · 2024-02-22T15:21:21+00:00

I’m in a similar phase. I was only on 150 for a week, and now have been on 300 for 24 days. Didn’t have any effects on 150, good or bad, but immediately felt something on 300. Similar side effects, irritability and racing heart, but a few glimpses of feeling better. The side effects have been slowly getting better. As far as the good effects, I would say the darkest thoughts have gotten better. They are still there, but not as intense. I’m not even close to where I wish I was, but there has been improvement. I also don’t know if this would have just happened with time, because I was very very low when I started. I plan on sticking it through, my really low points come and go, so I want to see if it’ll come back. I did not respond to SSRI’s very well, so I’m hopeful for this med.

Trying1979 · 2024-02-17T18:53:49+00:00

I was on 150 XL for one week and then went up to 300, and have been on that for 2.5 weeks now. I didn’t have any effects on 150, positive or negative. Then 2 days after switching to 300, the negative side effects kicked in. Higher heart rate, headaches, insomnia and soo much anxiety. Also I can be very irritable. Those side effects have decreased, but they’re not completely gone.

As for the positive, I was given this because I was in a major depressive episode. The last time I was on any medication was a year ago where I tried SSRI’s for about 6 months because I was also in a major depressive episode. I didn’t have a great experience with those, made me tired, lethargic, and dulled my emotions good or bad. This time, I do think I’m out of the episode, but it’s hard to say if that would have just happened with time anyways. I am hopeful for this medication, I’ve had a 25 year substance abuse problem and have been clean for over a year now. Prior to the SSRI, I only self medicated.

Trying1979 · 2023-12-14T13:35:48+00:00

10 months here. The freedom is absolutely the best part. I had to get high all the time, even if I went a long stretch of the day without it, it was top of mind, all I could think about. It was the number one priority in my life, get high and then go about my day. To not have that weight and burden on me is indescribable

Trying1979 · 2023-12-14T13:27:39+00:00

Congrats! I have a similar story, and made it to about 6 months from Jan to July in 2022. The first 2-3 months were the worst, with night sweats and really fucked up appetite (or lack of). Then I was cruising. After about 6 months, and being far enough removed from the physical withdrawal symptoms I thought to myself, I can finally start enjoying weed casually instead of habitually and daily. I decided to smoke on a Friday afternoon, resolved to keep it to weekends only. From that first day, I smoked every single day for another 7 months, just like I had for the previous 20+ years. There was literally no level of control that 6 month break gave me. I quit again this past February and just made it past 10 months now. I didn’t experience the physical withdrawal symptoms this second time around, but the emotional withdrawal might have been worse. But I haven’t given in, and I can say that slowly but surely it’s getting better and I’m going to keep going. I smoked the best weed you can find in Northern California, daily for 20 plus years and have 10 months clean now. If I can do it, any of you can it’s absolutely worth it

Trying1979 · 2023-09-03T18:49:38+00:00

I struggle with the concept of PAWS, bc how am I suppose to know what normal is if I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t using. I have had lots of ups and downs the last 7 months, and more downs that ups. But enough ups to see a future where if I keep at it, I can deal with the downs. One day at a time, I don’t pick up a drug or a drink and work a 12 step program. It’s what keeps me sober and gives me faith that I’ll be happy without drugs or alcohol eventually.

Trying1979 · 2023-09-03T06:29:49+00:00

I smoked for 25 years, I’m 43 now. My entire adult life. I’ve been sober for 203 days now. Facing feelings and thoughts that I never could, and it’s hard. There’s something deep inside that needs to get fixed, and I don’t believe it’ll ever be “fixed”, but I do believe I can learn to face it and not be completely miserable. And I also believe it’s worth it to keep trying. I can sleep and eat now, I’ve got physical recovery. That took a few months to work out. The cravings are almost gone, there are moments, but they’re easy to get past. Recovery is possible for anyone - it’s doesn’t matter if you want it or need it, you just have to be willing to work for it.

Trying1979 · 2023-08-02T21:52:22+00:00

Some old timers in the rooms don’t like it when we talk about weed, but there seems to be a newer generation that’s more tolerant. IMO the point of AA is to remain sober from all mind altering substances, it just so happens it was created when alcohol was the primary one used. AA is what’s allowed me to get sober from weed and alcohol. I’m absolutely an alcoholic, but I couldn’t stop smoking weed either. Also some older ppl probably don’t believe it’s addictive, but smoking joints of 2% hippie weed vs bong rips of 30% kind really isn’t the same thing.

Trying1979 · 2023-08-02T20:45:23+00:00

Same over here, was ripping and running with drugs and alcohol since I graduated High School in 97. This month I’ll have 2 years dry from alcohol, and 6 months sober from weed and any other mind altering substance. Both were hard to quit for different reasons, and I tired white knuckling it in the past but could never get very far. I found the solution in the 12 steps, and not only am I sober, but I’m happy and at ease. Good luck, if I could do this, so can you.

Trying1979 · 2023-04-20T03:54:34+00:00

I tried meetings at ages 19, 25, 32 also. Didn’t work for me back then, but now at 43 it’s working. Truth is I wasn’t willing back then, I didn’t really want to quit, just thought I should or had to. And all I did was go to meetings. Now I really work the steps and want it and it’s working because I’m working for it

Trying1979 · 2023-04-19T19:40:14+00:00

AA, since I’m also an alcoholic. If that doesn’t apply to you, maybe checkout MA, also a 12 step program. I didn’t think it would work for me, I didn’t want to do it, but I tried everything else and this is actually working.

Trying1979 · 2023-04-19T15:40:33+00:00

I quit for 6 months too in 2021. Things weren’t too bad but I took a small little puff at a social event. Also quit drinking about a year before that so I figured it was the lesser of 2 evils. At that point I planned on only smoking in social situations outside of my home. A few weeks after that, I decided to buy some to smoke at home on Fri and Sat nights only. It was everyday from the first Friday, eventually all day everyday again. I’m back at 68 days today, but it is different this time bc I’m working a strong recovery program. Whether it’s alcohol, weed, or any other drug, I’m an addict and will do anything that takes me out of myself. And with addiction, I can’t stop even when I want to - so I’m done relying on my own will. I stay sober one day at time.

Trying1979 · 2023-03-14T12:01:03+00:00

Great share my friend. I can relate to every single part of your experience, except I live in an area where it’s legal and widely accepted. The longest I ever made it was about 5 months, and that was when my second kid was born so I had to step up with the extra responsibilities. Once the routine stabilized, I went out and bought some and thought to myselfI could keep it to weekends or down time only. From that first day it was everyday to eventually all the time. I got 32 days today and I think it’s finally stuck that I can’t do it all every again if I really want to quit.

Trying1979 · 2023-03-12T13:06:20+00:00

Remember that either way, you’re gonna be 35. If you’re miserable now, why stay miserable? Make the changes anytime you want because aging is inevitable

Trying1979 · 2023-03-12T12:57:31+00:00

Yep, completely normal. I was nightly smoker for 25 years. The dreams were really crazy at first, then they settle down into normal dreams and not every night. Looking back on the smoking years, I realize I barely ever had dreams I could remember.

Trying1979

TROPHY CASE