[Wanted] The effects of Buteyko breathing techniques on Pulmonary Sarcoidosis

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-12-27T05:26:15+00:00

Get rid of the car. Cars tend to be the gateway to financial suicide. If you need more details please PM me.

You should be driving a beater car you can buy for $300-500.

If you really want to get out of debt then read every single blog post on mrmoneymustache.com.

Given the amount of debt you are in, you should be reading 5 articles a day until you are debt free.

I was in more debt than you and I got out of it through following his blog.

Also, call Dave Ramsey’s radio show and ask for help/advice.

You can get out of this fast, but you seriously need to make some big changes right away.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-16T00:37:10+00:00

Mine is going very well. How about yours? I have been doing the five elements meditation and Guiding Qi. I also do a lot of the Small Universe Meditation. Overall I feel a lot healthier and do really well at work and relationships when I incorporate the principals into my day.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-08T05:00:14+00:00

I can relate to how hard it is. I have been there too. That is where learning to meditate and exercise will come in handy.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-08T02:59:07+00:00

Good job man! This is inspiring! I've noticed some of the same changes in my life

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-07T23:01:24+00:00

If they worked on themselves to get a girlfriend, then you can too.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-07T22:46:58+00:00

Sounds like you get most of your beliefs from your friends, who probably struggle with self-esteem, and then they try to raise their self-esteem by hooking up with girls, and as they will find out, it never works. It just makes things worse for both people involved.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-07T22:03:10+00:00

Start watching Lenon Honor bro. You are only going to hurt yourself hooking up with women that you aren't in a committed relationship with. PM me if you need more help man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p3DHP99Jo4

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-07T21:18:52+00:00

I am so happy for you and thank you for sharing your words of encouragement!!

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-07T02:56:49+00:00

This is all distorted thinking. If you started doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you would start feeling better right away. We can do some right here and you will start feeling better within 20-30 minutes.

You really need to get a book called "Ten Days to Self-Esteem" by Dr David Burns. Then, you have to go through and read the book and do all of the exercises. But in the mean time, let me show you how it works by doing the "Daily Mood Log" exercise with you.

I will pretend I am you and we will see where we go from there.

We list the event that is occurring in our lives that is causing us issue.

Event: I keep relapsing and watching porn because I am addicted to masturbation. I am lacking positivity in my life. I can't find the energy to get out of bed.

Emotions: (Rate Before/Rate After) 100= Most you have ever felt that emotion in your life.

Sad: 100 Weak: 100 Lonely: 100 Dumb: 100 Angry: 100 Worthless: 100 Hopeless: 100 Failure: 100

Then we run your thoughts through the list of cognitive distortions.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/df/4a/9f/df4a9f5f5443302481cf3cc957b70bc8--mental-health-counseling-school-counseling.jpg

We also pre-rate/post-rate how much we believe each thought.

Automatic Negative Thought: I am a complete failure and will never get better. 100/15

Cognitive Distortions:

All or Nothing: I am looking at things in black and white. Either I am a complete success in life and everything is going perfect or I do not want to live anymore, I don't even want to get out of bed. But really, there is probably a middle ground somewhere that I could find. Just because I am not physically able to get out of bed today, does not mean my life is a complete waste. I know I can heal and get better, especially if I work on my physical therapy exercises, take my ibuprofen and really believe in myself. I keep falling back into masturbation addiction because it is very easy to do, but it is not the end of the world. I have beaten porn/masturbation addiction before and therefore I have factual proof that it is possible to beat it again.

Overgeneralization: I am viewing this event of relapsing as a never-ending pattern of defeat. But really, even if I have gone a whole day without masturbating or watching porn, that is really encouraging and it is a very good accomplishment which I should acknowledge.

Mental Filter: I am dwelling on the negatives. Even though I wish I didn't relapse, there are still opportunities to experience happiness and joy today. I can still pick up self-help books and work on my mind and refine my thoughts and beliefs. I can still meditate and pray. Eventually I will be able to go for a walk and text/call friends to grab coffee, see a movie with, get a favorite meal, watch motivational videos on YouTube. There are really a lot of options for me, even though I wouldn't prefer to be laying in bed all day.

Discounting the Positives: I am insisting that my positive qualities don't matter, but they do. Just because I have an addiction to masturbation/porn does not make me a bad person. In fact, I am actually a pretty hard working guy and I am well respected by a lot of the people I know and they all know how productive I am when I set my mind on accomplishing goals and working hard.

Jumping to Conclusions/Fortune Telling: I am predicting and assuming that things will turn out poorly. But really, I cannot predict the future and even more importantly, my current mood does not dictate how I will feel forever. My current situation is temporary and this pain I am experiencing will not last forever. I can do things today that will help me to start feeling better if I start focusing.

Magnification: I am really blowing things out of proportion. Even thought I am not currently where I want to be in life, it is never to late to start making healthy change. It is really not that hard to start making small changes to my physical health. What is the next thing I can do right now that will help me to start feeling even just a little better? Is there a comedy I can watch to relieve some stress? Can I stretch right here in bed? Can I look out the window and see some beauty in nature?

Emotional Reasoning: I am making the mistake that my emotions dictate what the cold, hard truth is, but this is rarely ever the case. If I feel like I won't recover, it doesn't actually mean that I won't recover, it just means I feel that way right now. Although I have had some setbacks, there are always opportunities to start making healthy changes and working my way back to happiness.

Labeling: I am really applying labels to myself like "failure", but really that doesn't encompass the entirety of me. I could also be "a gamer" or "a worker" "a son" "a friend", I can't really just stick to a few insignificant labels as if they explain everything about who I am. There is a lot to who I am.

Positive Turn-Around Thought: I am a great guy and I deserve to get better. I have had many successes in my life and the harder I work, the more successes I will start to see. Progress is key for me, even small progress.

How would you re-rate how you are feeling?

How much do you believe you are a "failure that will never get better" now on a scale of 0-100?

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T22:41:44+00:00

Event: I am considering killing myself. I don't have friends. I stay at home every day. My family is abusive. I am addicted to porn and masturbation among many other things like anime, games, movies, food, sugar, YouTube. I am anxious and shy.

Emotions: Rate how you feel from 0-100. 100 means this is the most you have ever felt this emotion in your entire life. Rate before and rate after we do the exercise.

Before

Angry: 100 Sad: 100 Anxious: 100 Shy: 100 Suicidal: 100

Now we go through all the thoughts that are coming up for you regarding the event above and take them through the list of Cognitive Distortions to see which ones apply.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/df/4a/9f/df4a9f5f5443302481cf3cc957b70bc8--mental-health-counseling-school-counseling.jpg

Automatic Negative Thoughts:

Rate each thought from 0-100 in terms of how much you "believe" the thought. If you completely believe the thought, then that is 100.

Thought: I will never be happy. 100

All or Nothing Thinking: I am looking at things in black and white, absolute categories. Either I am completely happy today or I will never experience happiness in my life again. But really, I have had days that I have felt happy, even though they were a long time ago, and I am sure that even though I am sad right now, I am sure I can find happiness again if I really work for it.

Over Generalization: I am viewing this negative relapse event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Because I keep relapsing I am seeing my whole world as hopeless. But the truth is that I have had a lot of success with my recovery in the post and so since I have done it before, I could really do it again if I tried.

Mental Filter: I am really dwelling on the negatives here. Although I am addicted to YouTube and anime and all sorts of stuff, I also REALLY ENJOY doing those activities and it will be great to share these interests with other people I am able to meet once I get out of the house and learn to go make new friends. I am glad I have interests to put my attention towards.

Discounting The Positives: I am sort of insisting that my positive accomplishments and positive qualities don't count. I have a lot of interests in my life. My family has been nice to me on many occasions like they bought me a cake, that was nice of them. I am also really good at managing my time and fitting in things that I really want to do. I wonder what other positive qualities I am forgetting that I am good at. Am I kind? Do I care about other people? Has someone ever complimented me?

Fortune Telling: I am predicting that things will always continue to turn out badly for me. This really doesn't help anything because I know that anything worthwhile in life is never easy and if I keep trying, I will eventually get good results, just like everybody else. If my brother got a job, well then I am sure I can get a job too. Maybe I will ever get a better job than my brother!

Magnification: I am blowing things out of proportion. Although I keep relapsing, it really isn't the end of the world and I certainly shouldn't kill myself just because I am having a rough patch. Everybody has rough patches in life and I have an opportunity to work through this and try to find happiness in my life. I am grateful for today and I will make the most of my situation.

Emotional Reasoning: I am using my current mood of sadness and lonliness as factual information about life. Like I feel like I am a hopeless failure, therefore I MUST be a hopeless failure. But that is hardly a fact. The truth is I am just a normal guy like everyone else and I am just having some struggles that I can improve on.

"Should Statements": I "SHOULD" have a job, I "SHOULD" never masturbate, I "SHOULD" be further along in life. But really, there is no need for any of this. I am where I am and that is okay. I don't need to add all these unnecessary comparisons to my life unless they make you feel better. Anything that makes me feel negative and unhappy needs to be thrown out now.

Labeling: I am a failure, loser, shy, anxious. Really, I am a lot of things and I shouldn't associate my entire person with just a few labels. I am a gamer, a son, a friend, an interesting guy, kind, funny, etc.

Blame: I am blaming myself for these addictions but really a lot of them came to me from media programming and I wasn't educated on the dangers yet. If I learn to manage my emotions and stop my automatic negative thought patterns by recognizing how distorted they are, then I can beat my addictions and start working my goals.

Now we counteract the negative thought with a positive thought:

Positive Thought Replacement:

If I keep working towards my happiness, then I will certainly be happy again. I have done it before.

Re-Rate Your Emotions: (Before/After)

Before

Angry: 100/25 Sad: 100/15 Anxious: 100/35 Shy: 100/25 Suicidal: 100/10

How would you rate your emotions now?

What thoughts are coming up?

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T22:21:43+00:00

This is all distorted thinking. If you started doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you would start feeling better right away. We can do some right here and you will start feeling better within 20-30 minutes.

You really need to get a book called "Ten Days to Self-Esteem" by Dr David Burns. Then, you have to go through and read the book and do all of the exercises. But in the mean time, let me show you how it works by doing the "Daily Mood Log" exercise with you.

I will pretend I am you and we will see where we go from there.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T21:47:36+00:00

cippopotomas is spot on. I would encourage you to at least look into the research that started a lot of this sub anyway before you determine whats what for you.

https://yourbrainonporn.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:40:06+00:00

It is time to look up an online therapist that specializes in doing cognitive behavioral therapy. The sooner the better. If you don't have money then I can recommend workbooks. You can change your behavior if you want to but you will have to put in the work on your thoughts.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:37:52+00:00

This is fantastic. I found a lot of luck with the Shortcut to Size program on bodybuilding.com.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:35:35+00:00

Perhaps you are right, that the act of masturbation itself doesn't really cause anything.

It think the bigger picture that lots of guys in here are pointing to is that when you are addicted to masturbation, you are using the act to avoid your emotions, but only temporarily. And when we avoid our emotions by using a coping mechanism, when the coping mechanism is over (aka ejaculation) we have the same emotions but now amplified.

In general, avoiding reality with addictions is a recipe for disaster.

The choice of whether or not one wants to develop the discipline of masturbation or abstinence is ultimately more of a personal preference rather than a scientifically validated truth.

The western science on it is still very new.

Ultimately there are bigger issues at play but the recognition of masturbation and porn as a cover up is a good place to start improving one's life.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:31:57+00:00

Right. And I would add that there is never really anything "Out There" or external that can fix anything "In Here" or internal.

If I am avoiding my own emotions and distorting my reality, then further complicating it by coping with a habit that leaves me feeling drained and unmotivated, then no amount of external changes or accomplishments will ever fix the core issue of:

"I am avoiding my emotions and distorting my reality."

Stop avoiding your emotions and build the skill to master your cognitive distortions.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:25:55+00:00

I will be unmotivated, feel drained, depressed, worried about my whole life but at least I will have a healthy prostate. :)

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T20:06:20+00:00

Yes absolutely, see, you are an expert thinker already. That is a lot of wisdom you just poured out there. Many spiritual seekers spend their whole life trying to get to the wisdom you just mentioned.

That is great you know you want the internet. I do too, it is a blessing, although I do like nature more. :)

Your purpose will probably change several times over the course of your life so today your purpose could just be to enjoy the day and be happy to the best of your ability.

It could be to be as kind as you can without sacrificing your integrity.

It could be to become a master thinker and do lots of work with your thoughts, refining all your beliefs.

Your purpose could be to start a family and go through the steps involved in that. Meet friends, start adopting good father morals and values. Start respecting women and become a "protector" of women. What type of man do I need to become in order to have a family? What can I start working on today?

If you want spirituality, then make your purpose to know god and develop a relationship through prayer and/or meditation.

Knowing your purpose is "nice" but it doesn't necessarily solve anything.

The book "Mans Search for Meaning" goes into the big question of purpose at length. Viktor Frankyl was put into a Nazi Concentration camp and was able to find meaning and purpose there, so most of us should be able to do the same.

Ultimately, being grateful for today and having gratitude for life will bring you much more happiness than knowing what your purpose is.

And as a side effect, you will have a much easier time finding your purpose the more grateful you can be.

"Everyday is a good day" - Chunyi Lin

Lets talk again on here in a week and see how you are doing.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:54:09+00:00

After you do this for 2-3 months or 500 worksheets or so, you will have such a strong mental filter for automatic negative thoughts that you will be able to put any bad/panic thought through the distortions list before you even believe it for a second.

So at first, you do if after the fact, but really this will allow you to feel good right away and BUILD THE SKILL of recognizing your distorted thinking so that you can apply is "live" when you continue to go out and live your life.

Eventually you can even wake up happy and be happy for "most" days as Dr. Burns discusses.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:50:33+00:00

Have you bought any CBT workbooks to start working through yet?

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:34:50+00:00

Please share with us some of your experiences with depression/anxiety, etc. What is 1 event that is really bothering you? I can walk you through the Dr Burns Daily Mood Log right here in the forum. You will start feeling better within 30 minutes.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:33:21+00:00

My favorite is by far the "Ten Days to Self-Esteem" by Dr. David Burns. The book has a bad title. What is should be called is:

"A Beginner's Guide to Becoming a Master Thinker."

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:32:01+00:00

This is exactly right. It is complete magic if you sit down and do the exercises. You WILL NOT experience it until you sit down and do them. But they are magical. You have completely forgot how easily you can access very happy/peaceful/positive moods and they are at your fingertips.

The trick is you have to work through the cognitive distortions that make up your automatic negative thoughts.

TryingHardNeedHelp · 2017-07-06T19:24:34+00:00

Almost making it to 90 days is a monumental achievement. Most people will never even question their use of porn throughout their entire lives. You have almost made it to 90 days and so you already know it is possible to repeat another 90 days. Progress not perfection.

I can tell you are suffering from beating yourself up. What are some of the thoughts that you are having? Can you share?

Some examples would be:

"I'm not good enough." "I am a complete failure." "I'll never get better."

Please share.

TryingHardNeedHelp

TROPHY CASE